Brie and bruschetta? Check. Caseload of wine? Double-check. D-list celeb? Uh… Turns out, the new "must-have" on the holiday party circuit this season is the has-been celebrity. Apparently, everyone from K-Fed to actor Anson Williams — Potsie from TV’s Happy Days (pictured) — is willing to swallow their pride (if they have any left) and stand around for pop-culture gawkers if the price is right. Sadly, for some, that price seems to be as low as $3,000 — depending on the nature of the event and amount of travel, of course. (Top-level stars, like Justin Timberlake and Jessica Simpson? So last year. And their $1 million-plus asking price? So not in our budget.)
I know, stars shilling for cash is nothing new, and it’s no different from athletes and politicians making fee-driven appearances, but there’s just something particularly sad about all these former child stars and personalities agreeing to be pimped out — and subjected to the drunken rantings of your co-workers. (VH1: I blame you.) That said, who would you most like to see drop by your company office party? Who would you shell out for?
I want SHATNER! Man, he could sing Kareoke, hit on my cousins and get hella wasted with my uncle. What an X mas that would be! At the end of it all, we could all yell out “KHAAAN”!
And Federline can stop by any time he wants to, but only if his stoner azz brings the weed.
Say, Ep Sato; given that Shatner’s Jewish, wouldn’t he be better suited to appear at Channukah events?
Or should I say… KHAAAAANukah!
Beetle… I gotta put that on my forum avatar for tomorrow!
As for celebrities, well, I hesitate to even call her a celebrity as it seems to be negative to how great she truly is… but Deborah Foreman (Valley Girl, My Chaffeur, Waxworks, April Fool’s Day, and so on…) would be my big choice. Next up would be Peter Billingsley. The only other celebrity that even interests me as a guest would be Peter Frampton.
If he were willing… George Michael would rival Deborah. That would be a difficult choice.
Personally, i think if you’re going to be a former celebrity making ends meet by humiliating yourself at some mid-level company’s office party, you could do a lot worse than be Jerry Mathers. Who doesn’t love the Beav? Even after he swelled to six times his original size?
i wonder how much Madonna cost??? No, not for sex! get your mind out of the gutter!
Beetle- From my understanding, the last day of KHAAANukah and X-mas both fall on the same day. I’d be happy to celebrate both as for me X-mas is more about paying lip service to the holidays than anything else.
BTW, I totally loved your pun.
How is Justin Timberlake so last year? Or are we already talking about 06 in the past tense?
also…did popwatch take a sick day or something?
How much will it cost to persuade Jessica Simpson to go into early retirement? Anyone interested in pooling our money and seeing if we can make it happen?
He’s not a has-been, but I would totally shell out cash for Scissor Sister’s Jake Shears to give me a lap dance for my birthday. I mean, he used to be a stripper and all.
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