Snap judgment: Fantasia's 'Hood Boy' video

145952__fantasia_lAs you may already be aware, I’m medically incapable of saying anything bad about my very most favorite American Idol, Fantasia. It helps, of course, when she releases singles as infectiously funky as "Hood Boy," her new collaboration with Big Boi, which I’ve been playing on repeat loop all week. And today, ‘Tasia’s premiering the accompanying video clip at Yahoo Music. (For those of you who’ve got Macs, you can also catch it at YouTube.) Now if you’ll bear with me, I’m gonna press play and let the stream of consciousness flow.

OK, OK, loving the hot-pink neon "Fantasia" signage. Very Roxie Hart in Chicago. Wonder if it’ll end up on eBay now that the shoot is over. Wonder if it’d fit on my living room wall. On second thought, scratch that. I don’t want to put myself at risk of divorce. Well, well, well. Lots of man-candy up in the barber shop… and ‘Tasia! Where’s your skirt? No, I am sorry, but that red number doesn’t qualify; it’s a long shirt for cryin’ out loud, and not long enough, if you ask me. See how that boy just spanked your bottom? Girl, you’ve got to cover the goods when you head out of the house. Excuse me? I don’t care what you’ve seen Britney Spears trotting around in for the last week. SHE IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE ROLE MODEL FOR YOU. OK, let’s not argue. I’ll shut up and do the booty-shake with you. For the record, though, I think I just caught a glimpse of your cheek. (No, the other one.) Hey! A motorcycle! Nothing says "bad girl" like a hog. (That is what they call ‘em, no?) Except, where’s your helmet at? ‘Tasia, you’re totally breaking the law! And you may be breaking an unwritten Idol law with that controversial fauxhawk. Remember what happened to Nadia Turner? Actually, I take it back, it looks good on ‘ya. Especially paired with false eyelashes made from the wings of hummingbirds. Lovely! Oh, hey, who’s that? Wait, it’s Big Boi! The music is the micro… phone home… That’s good stuff. Oh, ‘Tasia, can I just say that I love that you’re not a Size 2 and gettin’ down with the git-down with total confidence. Okay, I’ll shut up for a second and shake it like a Polaroid picture.

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Whew. So howcome when I screech it sounds like nails in a blender, and when youscreech it sounds like a little slice of heaven? Ooh, another dancebreak! All the girls are droppin’ it like it’s hot. I swear my kneethreatens to go out when I try that. Yikes! The police! I warned youabout the helmet! Quick, get outta there. Oh, I know, you’re too coolfor that. Look at you strut out of there, like an American Idol should. Yes!


Comments (64 total) Add your comment
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  • Reese

    Oh Michael, I loved your recap. While I do love the video and Miss Fantasia’s new look, she owes me some money for the muscle strain on my booty from copying her shake.

  • whimsey

    Ahhh. There’s nothing quite like a Slezak rant. Shake it, shake it, shake it…

  • Anna

    I didn’t like Fantasia that much before… but that was HOT! Really liked it.

  • Chris

    Fantasia is just plain awful, like the bizarro sister of Macy Gray–yuck! She is probably the least talented of all the Idol winners, well maybe she has more talent than Ruben–but that’s not saying much. Her Lifetime movie was downright embarassing and this new song/video is just another nail in her coffin. 10 years from now, Kelly and Carrie will still be selling tons of albums, and Fantasia will be singing for tips on the streetcorner.

  • Amber

    Never liked Fantasia before, totally digging this new song! Work it girl!

  • Marnie

    I LOVE THIS SONG. Yes.
    I wanna Hood Boy…

  • eug

    She can’t read. SHE CAN”T READ!

  • d-rock

    awwww… risking a divorce? Slezak is taken! My dreams of curling up in front of a fire in January (I’m in Canada.. it’s COLD in January here) to watch American Idol are ruined. RUINED!

  • Jonathan

    don’t care for Fantasia, no, not at all.
    kelly clarkson is the way to go in terms of american idols, and really, in terms of pop rock music in general

  • jmt

    I think she’s actually wearing shorts under that “red number” it’s hard to tell. I may have to watch it a few more times…

  • karen

    Love you FANTASIA.. HOT HOT HOT

  • Jen

    I love ya, Slezak! I haven’t even watched the video yet, but if it’s as fabulous as your recap, then ‘Tasia is getting ready for another big hit.

  • Jen

    Chris and jmt:
    So you don’t like Fantasia, huh? Well, that means more of her for the rest of us!! But seriously, she’s not a pop rock artist (haha, he said poprock), but the sister has made a niche for herself in the R&B/Hip-Hop world, and I think it suits her. Yeah, she hasn’t sold as much as Kelly Clarkson, but she’s a platinum artist (at least). That’s no small feat. And yes, her Lifetime movie was heinous, but somebody thought enough of her life to put that project together.
    In addition, she is extraordinary in concert (she dances, sings, and runs around the stage like her life depends on it!)and she collaborates with legendary artists, most notably Aretha Franklin. Maybe she is not your cup of tea, but then again, Carrie Underwood isn’t mine. Fantasia is my American Idol!
    Slezak, you were right about the video. It was fabulous! I do believe there were a pair of hot pants under that red thing-a-mabob. I loved how she blew out the street lights at the end of the video. Her first album was wonderful, and I’m looking forward to the next one. Go ahead, ‘Tasia!

  • debbi

    I never could stand the low class and talentless Fantasia, and this video does nothing to change my opinion. I LOVE the fact that the very talented Jennifer Hudson beat her out for the role in Dreamgirls!
    Long live Jennifer Hudson’s career and may Fantasia’s career die a quick death.

  • james

    oh man, I loved that. she’s pretty freakin’ amazing. I loved at the end when the lights blow out one by one when she’s walking away!

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