Britney doesn't have to wear underwear if she doesn't want to

OK. I’ve had it. There are pictures of Britney Spears’ crotch all over the Internets. She’s been riding in cars with Paris Hilton, and when she scooches out of the backseats, everything and the kitchen sink (and there might actually be a kitchen sink somewhere in there) spills out. The latest breaking news? "Britney Buys Panties!" As if that solves anything whatsoever.

Look, I get it. Britney’s gross. Britney’s letting herself go. Britney should be home with her neglected, poop-encrusted, probably really hungry babies instead of out partying every night with the worst new BFF in history. Huge and sprawling hoo-hoos are not fun to look at. All of this is true. But you know what? Britney doesn’t have to wear underwear if she doesn’t want to. It’s perfectly legal. Everyone’s done it at least once. You’re telling me your Netherlands are that much more attractive than hers? Please. And don’t think that if Brit-Brit’s forbidden city and the rest of her body were in better shape, this would be as big a deal. Y’all are just mad ’cause everything’s stretched out, yo. That’s reality. Deal with it. Either stop complaining about her crotch or just DON’T. LOOK. AT. IT.

Here’s the point: Going commando is not the problem. Desperate photographers throwing themselves under cars to shoot someone’s most unflattering, private angle are the problem. Get off the ground, dudes. You make me sick.

Comments (42 total) Add your comment
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  • mike

    Her timing is off. Five years ago, Britney going commando was for another awards show. But, it’s two kids later.
    Britney needs a court appointed adult to take care of the kids, keep her away from dead beat wiggers and making sure Brit puts on her plus size panties.

  • EP Sato

    I didn’t find Britney’s nana any less appealing than Lindsey Lohan’s. The issue isn’t that she’s letting the world see her cooter, it’s that she’s giving it away for free.
    Britney has the right to go commando and the right to hang out with whoever she wants to. But she’s a mother now, and most wild celeb hotties know to cool it down at least a little once they’ve had kids. Or they at least know to ask for real $$ when they show the goods. Demi Moore agreed to show off her goodies for lots of $$$$. Remember Halle Berry’s boobies? I do, and I also remember that she got a few million $$$ extra for showing them off in that Hugh Jackman/John Travolta crapfest flick a few years ago. Them breasteses were well worth the price of admission, even if the rest of the movie (like it’s title) were less than memorable. If she’s desperate to show the world her nekkidness, Britney should agree to star in some summer blockbuster movie and ask for real dough. Then the paparrazzi will have nothing to shoot but yesterday’s news…

  • aron

    Yeah, she doesn’t have to wear underwear, but she should. Not just because it looks nasty, but because it’s called etiquette and being a lady. To grab publicity this way is so low, lower than the paparazzi who take the shots she knows they will. Learning this from Lindsey Lohan is a slow as one can get…even Britney. She should learn to exit a car in a ladylike manner, even if it is 6 in the morning and she’s wasted.

  • steve

    For the love of God, please stop using the term “the internets.” It is not, and never has been, funny.

  • shelby

    Madonna did something along these lines way back in 1992 with a lot more class. Not only did she hire the best art director and photographer to publish the photos and was in total control, but she made millions selling the masterpiece that is the sold out book SEX. As usual popular culture is just catching up to her…14 years too late!

  • melissa

    Nice point about the photographers.

  • timm

    I Agree with you Annie Good point!

  • lola

    If Britney doesnt want her cooter splashed across the tabloids, then she should just wear some freakin’ underwear. Which makes me wonder if Brit actually DOES want said cooter making a splash. In which case, double yuck. I know you have no class, Brit, but seriously, for the sake of your kids who’ll grow up knowing millions have seen their mommy’s private parts, just GROW UP.

  • dre

    I agree about the desperate photogs, it is sick. But c’mon, they’re not getting off the ground or out of the gutter, they’ve been down there for years. I haven’t seen the pics, nor do I want to, buy what I don’t get is – how is everything all stretched out when she had her kids via c-section?
    If there is an upcoming custody battle over those 2 kids, as reported, this is a really really stupid move on Brit’s part. But stupid’s nothing new for her. Could you ever have imagined that Fed-Ex would be the more fit parent? Those poor, poor children.

  • Hate to Say It

    Sorry to be the one to suggest it, but THANK GOD they haven’t yet mastered smell-o-vision for the internet. Ewwww….

  • brandonk

    Wow, that’s crazy…It must be intentional, although I don’t know why they would think it’s a good idea. I mean, these people are surrounded by photographers whenever they go anywhere, so they must have known that pictures would be taken, and there doesn’t seem to be any attempt at modesty. It definitely makes them seem skankier, which I wasn’t aware was possible. Surprise!

  • Howard

    Once again, the curse of Federline destroying some young woman’s life.
    Girl’s gotta ditch the parties, ditch Paris, make a new record and try and reconnect with her fans, most of whom have outgrown her music.

  • Kelly

    Okay, not to be gross but a new mother HAS to wear underwear. Your ummm….fluids (for lack of a better word) expel from your body for months after childbirth. Most women actually have to wear a pad for the entire time until he stops. So my question is, how did Britney just give birth to a child a month and a half ago and can walk around without any under garmets? She’s either nastier than we ever thought possible and doesn’t mind juice running down her legs or she’s the one woman on EARTH who does not have seepage after birthing Her own mother must be so proud.

  • Stacey

    Plus, it’s none of our business what they are wearing underneath, if anything. It’s gross that the paparazzi are taking such pictures and plastering them all over the internet. Britney or anyone.
    Yes she should spend more time at home. But then I am of the opinion, she’s unable to stay home all night because she misses Kevin and doesn’t want to be alone. So she goes out and hangs out with friends. And really, from what we know. She spends the daytime hours doing errands, and with her kids. She’s not out getting drunk at 11 am and 2 pm.. She has a nanny to help her. She has every right to do what she wants. She’s newly single. After being with someone for two in a half years. She’s young and single. It’s not against the law for her to have a good time. And it’s not going to prevent her come-back when the next CD does come back… From those pictures of Sean last weekend. He is apparently a very adjusted little boy. So she must be doing something good!

  • dre

    You can’t tell whether a small child is well-adjusted from photographs!
    Now the mother, on the other hand…

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