No, Billy Idol, NO! You are not supposed to be dreaming of a "White Christmas." A "White Wedding"? Absolutely. L’Oreal No. 473: White-Blonde? OK, sure. But a White Christmas? Seriously? Maybe in the privacy of your own home, with the blinds drawn tight, but certainly not as the lead single and video (now streaming at YouTube) to your new Happy Holidays disc. I know this might not sound very festive of me, but I do not care to see you shake a neatly wrapped package like a tambourine. I do not care to see you mime the signing of Christmas cards. I do not care to witness you following Rod Stewart into the Great American Songbook. Are we clear on this? Good. Now, go, dance with yourself, yell like a rebel, rock the cradle of love if you must. Just leave the crooning to Tony Bennett. That’s all.
Things That Make Me Die Inside (Vol. 7)
- Aaron Paul vs. Toys 'R' Us over action figures
- 'Project Runway': And the winner is...
- 'Avengers: Age of Ultron' trailer: 5 takeaways
- 'Game of Thrones': 7 rumors debunked
- Kiera Cass' 'The Heir': See the book cover
- AMC to acquire 49.9 percent of BBC America
- CMT doubles up on 'Party Down South'
- Christian Bale as Steve Jobs, says Sorkin
- Will Smith brings 'Hitch' comedy series to Fox
- Edward Norton reflects on not being the Hulk