No, Billy Idol, NO! You are not supposed to be dreaming of a "White Christmas." A "White Wedding"? Absolutely. L’Oreal No. 473: White-Blonde? OK, sure. But a White Christmas? Seriously? Maybe in the privacy of your own home, with the blinds drawn tight, but certainly not as the lead single and video (now streaming at YouTube) to your new Happy Holidays disc. I know this might not sound very festive of me, but I do not care to see you shake a neatly wrapped package like a tambourine. I do not care to see you mime the signing of Christmas cards. I do not care to witness you following Rod Stewart into the Great American Songbook. Are we clear on this? Good. Now, go, dance with yourself, yell like a rebel, rock the cradle of love if you must. Just leave the crooning to Tony Bennett. That’s all.
Things That Make Me Die Inside (Vol. 7)
- Sony hires real-life inspiration for Olivia Pope
- Sony CEO: We've 'not caved, not given in'
- FBI officially ties North Korea to Sony hack
- Obama: 'A mistake' to pull 'The Interview'
- 'Colbert Report' has immortal, all-star finale
- 'Game of Thrones' refashions Arya's look
- 'Once Upon a Time' casts Ernie Hudson as...
- 'White Collar' series finale: How it ended
- David Schwimmer cast as Robert Kardashian
- Kate Upton is People 'Sexiest Woman Alive'
- 31 Days of Holiday Binge: December picks