No, Billy Idol, NO! You are not supposed to be dreaming of a "White Christmas." A "White Wedding"? Absolutely. L’Oreal No. 473: White-Blonde? OK, sure. But a White Christmas? Seriously? Maybe in the privacy of your own home, with the blinds drawn tight, but certainly not as the lead single and video (now streaming at YouTube) to your new Happy Holidays disc. I know this might not sound very festive of me, but I do not care to see you shake a neatly wrapped package like a tambourine. I do not care to see you mime the signing of Christmas cards. I do not care to witness you following Rod Stewart into the Great American Songbook. Are we clear on this? Good. Now, go, dance with yourself, yell like a rebel, rock the cradle of love if you must. Just leave the crooning to Tony Bennett. That’s all.
Things That Make Me Die Inside (Vol. 7)
- SXSW '14 Jury and Special Award winners
- 'Sex Box' reality series OK'd at WEtv
- 'Blacklist,' 'Voice,' more NBC finale dates
- 'Bachelorette': It's Andi Dorfman
- President Obama on 'Between Two Ferns'
- 'Game of Thrones' gets Vanity Fair cover
- 'Big Bro,' 'Dome' premiere dates are...
- Tom Bergeron plans 'Home Videos' exit