Let's all journey to Castle Enya

This may or may not be news to you, but this morning, I discovered that new-age diva Enya literally has an "Online Castle," complete with "Rogue’s Gallery," "Watch Tower," and even a "Trinket Room." (Can anyone figure out how to interact with the snow globe in the last-named area? It confounds me!)

What I bet you didn’t know, though, is that the good folks at MapQuest have accurate directions to the actual, physical Castle Enya. Might I suggest clicking this link and listening to Enya’s ubiquitous "Orinoco Flow (Sail Away)" — not to be confused with her Prodigy mashup, "Smack My Enya"! — while we take the journey from PopWatch HQ to Enya’s lair? 

1: Start out going SOUTHWEST on BROADWAY toward W 52ND ST. <0.1 miles
2: Turn RIGHT onto W 51ST ST., going all the way to the HUDSON RIVER 1.7 miles
3: Sail WESTWARD into THE ORINOCO FLOW. 71.3 miles
4: (Do NOT heed the call of the MERMAIDS. They’re lovely, but dangerous.)
5: Take the EXIT ∑ to the DEEP SEA OF CLOUDS. 0.6 miles
6: Merge onto ≈Ω≈ and head SOUTHWARD HO toward the ISLAND OF THE MOON. 271.6 miles
7: Unicorns!
8: Bear RIGHT at the fork in the SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM. ≥π
9: Keep an eye out for signs pointing to MORDOR!
10: Go directly to THE LAND I’VE NEVER BEEN. Do not pass MOUNT DOOM. Do not collect $200.
11: Get out your FAIRY DUST. Sprinkle liberally about traveling vessel. Watch it transform into MAGICAL BUGGY!
12: SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY, SAIL AWAY.
12: BEANNACHT DE TEACH AìOCH BAINEANNACH AINNIR ENYA.

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  • kennyk

    God, I am soooo SICK of critics taking shots at Enya.
    In a music industry that is saturated with men and women who can’t sing, play an instrument, or write a song on their own but STILL score a Number One album (HANNAH MONTANA, anyone?), it irks me that an artist like Enya is lambasted by the media for being too fluffy or whatever.
    Enya’s music is NOT for playing in da club, or even cranking up in your car on a Saturday night.
    Take it for what it is: Enya’s music is meant for rest, relaxation, and reflection. It is meant to soothe your mind, body and soul.
    People who have to review the latest Chemical Romance or CD by the Game for a living just don’t get it.
    Perhaps THEY need to relax a little bit….

  • Ed

    Michael, I can see you doing research on this blog – with a HUGE BONG between you and your laptop.

  • dan cullinane

    shut it slezak…go clean the bathroom or something…you aren’t funny and it only embarasses everyone when you try

  • aramis

    HAHA Ed! I was picturing the same thing! slezak and a bong!
    Oh, and Kenny…..Slezak was so not taking shots at Enya…No one can take shots at Enya…
    She’s freakin ENYA!!! People fall to their knees in her presence. She’s like freakin’ Jasmine on Season Four of “Angel”. You just want to find a dull knife and stab yourself for thinking bad thoughts about Enya.
    She is a peaceful, holy soul.
    Now excuse me, I must pull a Silas and beat myself with a whip for thinking bad Enya thoughts.
    *WHIP!* Mmmm, Enya. *WHIP!*

  • Ev

    Slezak – genius. Thanks! You did embarrass me but only cause I got a fit of the giggles.

  • Deb

    Dan and KennyK need to pull their heads out of their posteriors……it was FUNNY! I like Enya, but come on, it’s funny! Like Trent Lott becoming the Minority Whip —–that would be like Al Sharpton gaining a position of power that had the unfortunate title Grand Dragon! That’s funny! get over it!

  • V.M.L.

    Wow thanks for the directions! I’ll go to her castle as soon as I can! XD

  • Ellipsian

    Slezak, you big dork! I love it!

  • dan cullinane

    deb — you said posterior. that makes you lamer than slezak.
    new suck order:
    slezak
    enya
    you

  • girard31

    I’ve always heard that Enya has a panic room in her little abode. Why wasn’t that on the tour?

  • Jon R.

    Aw, man! YouTube removed Smack My Enya. That track was freakin’ awesome!

  • bigDick

    So when did Popwatch start getting crazy with word filters? Did those crazy Constantine women ruin it for all of us? Shat!

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  • Steve WAtt

    found this really cool ENYA ecard here you might like to see *S*
    http://www.thejoyluckclub.com/Ecards/Heartfelt/Card13/enya.htm

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