Lancing With the Stars

15519__nph_lI have to say, despite the fact that I have an ongoing phobia of waking up in the middle of the night and discovering I’ve accidentally left my closet door open (there’s monsters in there, I tell ya!), I’m pretty psyched about all the closet doors getting thrown open in Hollywood the last few months — Lance Bass, T.R. Knight, RJ Helton, Ted Haggard, Neil Patrick Harris. In fact, I think we may have turned a corner. No longer is revealing one’s homosexuality cause for widespread controversy, but rather, it’s an opportunity for a D-list celebrity to get himself back in the spotlight. And that’s a beautiful thing, people.

Take Bass’s boyfriend, former Amazing Race-r Reichen Lehmkuhl, who’s trying to coin the verb "Lanced" to describe what happens when a celebrity comes out under pressure from gossipistas. "They’re calling it a ‘lancing.’ It’s to be ‘lanced,’" Lehmkuhl said in a recent radio interview, discussing Harris’s recent revelation that he’s a "a very content gay man." (Is "they" similar to Ida Know and Not Me?)

Um, I hate to break it to Lehmkuhl, but for starters, getting "lanced" sounds, well, a little bit obscene. Also, the term makes the (probably erroneous) assumption that Bass has somehow achieved uni-monikered status (like, say, Mariah or McDreamy) among the majority of Americans. (If you can hear your mom’s voice asking, "Lance who? Armstrong?", raise your hand.) In the long run, though, that’s probably a good thing for Lehmkuhl. After all, he doesn’t want folks going around saying they’re Reichened to their stomachs by his blatant opportunism, does he?

addCredit(“Neil Patrick Harris: Jean-Paul Aussenard/”)

Comments (38 total) Add your comment
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  • Lisa

    Slezak I really do think I’ll throw myself out the window the day you move on from the blogging…
    In all seriousness, as a straight while girl who knows squat personally about coming out, I think while it’s good that people have been outed with backlash, I still feel like it’s their decision to make and people (yes, I’m talking to you, Perez) shouldn’t push them out the door. No one has any idea what’s behind them keeping it private, so no one has the right to make that decision for them.

  • JA

    No no no no no!!! Don’t even give this retch-inducing publicity grab coverage! Every time you say LB or RL’s names, a newborn infant’s soul is devoured by the Prince of Darkness. Think about that.

  • junior

    While I think it’s great for people to “come out” when they want to and in their own time, I don’t like the idea of goading celebs into talking about their personal lives with the threats of pics from their private lives going on the Internet.
    Nevertheless, I’m all for pretty celebs (like T.R. Knight or Neil Patrick Harris) “coming out” but when this catches on with ugly stars who want attention it’s gone too far. The last thing I want to do is imagine who they’d be gay with (as Valerie would say “I don’t need to (imagine) that!”)

  • bg 17

    How about they coin the term “making a Bass of yourself”, or “Reichen him a new one”; these seem a little less ambiguous about their origins.

  • EM

    I prefer the traditional definition:
    Lance – to make a surgical incision (typically used in cases of boils, abcesses or infections).
    Let’s not acknowledge these G-list celebrities enough to adopt this “verb” into our vocabulary.

  • Ep Sato

    Neil Patrick Harris was a shocker. Since Harold and Kumar, he’s played these lecherous souls who consume beautiful women like altoids. I assumed there was parody and irony in those roles, but not quite like this!
    How odd is it that during the Will&Grace days we had many straight actors playing gay people, and now we’ve got a lot of gay actors playing straight people? Neil Patrick Harris rocks in that role on “How I met your mother” and Lance Bass was the Nsyncer who made the ‘on the line” movie, wasn’t he?
    Incidentally, NSync’s status went up with me when I heard about Lance Bass. After all, they must have known but always seemed totally cool. IMHO, it’s cool that more Americans have friends of different ethnic, racial and economic backgrounds, and think it’s cool that it’s becomming more acceptable for us breeders to have gay friends.
    Hopefully, this means more folks realize that gay folk aren’t that different from the rest of us. We don’t have to “endorse” a particular lifestyle to accept gay people as friends and I hope more folks come to understand that as time goes on.

  • brendan

    i was seriously beggining to wonder when you would get to this. his sexuality makes no difference to me anyway. but that picture. my god! look at his forehead. you could play every season of doogie on that thing and not realize it wasn’t a tv.
    jk neil rules

  • Ed

    I’m all for people like Perez outing celebrities. It’s true, if these celebrities came out in droves, we would no longer have to hide it. Hollywood is supposed to be the most accepting/liberal place in America, why is it so closeted about this issue. It’s on the same scale as America trying to ban gay marriages.
    Tom Cruise, accept yourself, stop another failed marriage before it’s too late.
    John Travolta, you’re going the way of Ted Haggard, don’t make any more decisions till you come out!
    Wentworth Miller, stop being those snooty gays who turn thier nose up at their own community, you like d*ck like the rest of us do.

  • James

    I just know the someone has been “Reichen” in the dough since Lance came out. I guess its like the old saying,”Find a sucker and suck it!” OOOOPS…maybe not the best choice of words!

  • Silas Bent

    Isn’t Perez Hilton outing all these guys? That is wrong and sad and pathetic. You all need real lives, or hot boyfriends like Doogie.

  • Miles

    I fail to see how someone’s sexuality affects their ability to contribute to society. I find this is a fear of an older, more close minded generation, but you know what, a new class is in, and close mindedness is no longer open for business.

  • daisyj

    Sorry, Riechen, “lancing” still makes me think of draining a boil. It’s cute that you think your boyfriend is so important, though.
    And re: Harris, I’d just like to say: Well, damn. Further proof that my unerring ability to crush on gay men dates back to sixth grade.

  • Christopher

    Coining a catchphrase out of your partner’s name that identifies sexuality? That’s wrong. And reminds me of Rachel McAdams telling Lacey Chabert’s character to “stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen”.
    Here’s hoping Bass popularizes the expression “Once I Reichen’ed him out…”, as a euphanism for purging, throwing up, flushing, dropping, or dumping.

  • ceej

    If someone isn’t ready to be ‘out’ then they shouldn’t be ‘outed’ by some 3rd party, especially by some random blogger. While I can understand why the gay community wants its members to be out and proud –if I knew of a black celeb that was passing for white (ahem), I’d wonder why they were so intent on hiding their true nature– I realize that such revelations are of a personal nature. Celebs have little privacy as it is.. can’t they at least be in love in private?

  • James

    Sorry Michael, but coming out of the closet is still a struggle for many Americans. Sure in a better society (maybe even after this election), famous gay people can come out of the closet without being outed by stupid losers like Perez Hilton, but I doubt we will be there yet. Sure all of the recent outies haven’t been jaw droppers on the scope of Rock Hudson or Robert Reed. So I agree with Reichen, getting Lanced might not be too big a deal to you, but I’m sure if it happened to even bigger stars, you’d hear more about litigation and such. Oh wait, haven’t we heard about that in the past from some of our bigger stars?

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