'Lost': Smoky gets in your eye

Los Lost-fans, I warn you: There is a spoiler ahead. Not for anyone who watched last night — you all know what’s coming/has come. For the rest of you stragglers, stop reading now. Really. Quit it. I’m totally gonna tell.

I’m telling!

OK, you asked for it: Dosvidanya, Mr. Eko. Thank you for dying. Not because you weren’t great — indeed, you were too good for the show. (And, it seems, you knew it,and made no attempt to hide your contempt.) My interest in Lost hasbeen on the wane. It used to be my one and only TV love. Nowadays — Ihate that you have to find out this way, Lost — I’m frakking someoneelse. Won’t name names, but you can figure it out.

Anyway, my enthusiasm last night went from watching-while-cooking tobeets-on-simmer. If only death and judgment always felt thatnear-at-hand, Lost might regain some of its seductive existential melancholy.

But here’s the real news: I’ve cracked the mystery of the Island.For realz, this time. The Island has a plan: To eliminate all blackpeople and replace them with the most annoying specimens of otherraces. We lose Michael and Walt? We gain Nikki and Paolo, a pair ofCousin Olivers so perfunctorily written, they’re barely there. ExitEko? Enter Angry Sawyer-whuppin’ Other, aka Scowlyguy McWifegotshot.Rose had better watch her back — and keep both hands on the wheel.

I’m going back to watching Lost with the beets at full boil and my attention directed dinnerward. FYI, that’s the last stage before TiVo cancellation.

PS: Who saw eyepatch man in the Pearl Station monitor (map-creator Radzinksy, perhaps? the owner of the long-forgotten glass eye?) and immediately thought, "Omigod! It’s Mystery Science Theater 3000!They’re on the Satellite of Love!" Put it this way: If threewisecracking silhouettes appeared at screen bottom during Locke’ssweatlodge sequence, I would not have batted an eyelash.

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  • Ep Sato

    It bummed me out to see Eko go. The tailies didn’t prove all that popular, but dang, three tailie deaths in a row? Imho, season 3′s been a little uneven, but Lost’s kind of like Pizza. Even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good.

  • Josh

    I’m starting to wonder why I’m still watching this show, and if I should bother getting attached to Nikki and Paolo or if they, like the tailies, are merely filler for story and “deaths” to keep the originals around. The only part I enjoyed last night was when Juliette showed Jack the movie. Unlike “The Wire,” “Battlestar Galactica,” and “Veronica Mars,” this is one extended storyline that’s losing me.

  • someone else who noticed

    thx scott, for a second there i thought i was the only one who noticed that the writers had systematically eliminated those w/ a dark hue. besides walt, michael, and now eko we havent seen ms. klugh all year either. maybe the dharma initiative is just a high tech kkk. mystery solved

  • Auriana

    I don’t quite understand all the hate on Lost lately. I was quite sad to see Eko go…one of my favorite characters next to Sayid, Sun, Jin, and Sawyer. I trust that everything will be revealed in time and I’m in no hurry for answers every bloody episode. If everything was answered…then where would the show be? I guess it’s the same reason I never understood why Alias got a bad rap for the Rambaldi thing…that was the best part of that show and the most fascinating.

  • lola

    I know I keep saying this, but man, Scott, you are hilarious. For realz.

  • Jen O.

    Scowlyguy McWifegotshot? Oh, thank you.

  • Alyssa

    I disagree, Auriana. The Rimbaldi storyline was boring quagmire that did the show in. I’m starting to think JJ is a two-season wonder. With both Alias and now Lost, we got two good seasons and then the whole thing just because a boring, convoluted mess.

  • Alex

    Seriously, i am not understanding all the Lost hating either. This season’s eps have already WAY out-awesomed most of the first half of season 2, and Scott, clearly your cooking habits are drawing your attention a little too much, since you’re obviously missing the awesome. Come on, one of the best characters gets offed? Locke gets told they’re next? This is the best the show has been since season one.

  • Vance

    I too don’t understand the hatred for Lost. It’s not slow, just patiently paced. You want all the clues? Let it burn through like Prison Break did in the first season (or classic example, The OC using 5 seasons of storyline in the first season).
    Though true, three tailies in a row was a bit much but at the same time, it felt they had already exhausted Eko’s story and past as much as they could.

  • Debbie

    We are all conveniently forgetting that Boone, Shannon and Libby were all killed off and they were white. I also read that the actor who played Eko only wanted a short term storyline to begin with, and the writers and producers worked with him on that.

  • Vicky

    Eko’s story wasn’t going anywhere. Plus, according to tvguide.com, the actor only wanted to be on the show for a limited time. Same as Michelle Rodriegez. She only wanted to be on the show for a season. I think casting needs to pick some actors who will commit for longer than a year. I don’t want to know who’s the next to die based on when they were hired.

  • Aron

    Trust me when I saw we are all with you on the stupid new characters. Im shocked that Eko dies, and they bring in these two cartoon characters. They are sp distracting, and annoying. They dont even have to talk, they just annoy by being there.

  • Jackie

    Was Eko’s demise more about fate or coincidence? That is key here, I think. I really miss him now. All the clues in his story line until this episode was that he was making progress making amends for failing his brother. After all, we found out the real reason for his building a church in this episode – he owned his brother one church. A friend’s clues blog is in http://www.LostExposed.com/. The clue last night may really have been in Eko’s real world, his troubles in Hawaii and unhappiness on the cast or maybe a combination of all that and other things we don’t know. The turnaround in his perspective from repentant to defiant demonstrated a need to kill off the character, and smokey performed chillingly in the role.

  • Todd

    I hope Scott quits watching, so he will quit bashing the show.

  • Eric

    Let me preface this by saying I love EW. I do. It’s my favorite magazine. What I don’t like is how quickly they are to turn on things that less than a year ago they loved. Alias is the first example. The loved it. Hyped it. Praised it. Then season four comes around and the grade drops, they hate the streamlining, then when Sloane’s doppelganger arrives, it’s awesome again. The same thing has happened recently with Veronica Mars, which I fear will be ending this year. They were all over it, until this year. Now it’s happening with Lost. Lost is awesome. This season in particular has kept me engaged and I love Juliet. I’m actually rooting for her and Jack, and I’m a firm believer in the school of thinking that Jack and Kate are meant for each other. I don’t care what anyone says this is Lost’s best season yet. And I don’t want the hiatus to happen. I’m just saying, to all you Battlestar Galactica fans, and I’m one also, just wait. They may be EW’s darling now, but trust me the backlash is coming.

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