Jessica Simpson remaking 'Working Girl'? A thousand times, no!

152210__girl_lAt this point, Hollywood has furnished so many signs of the Apocalypse, the Apocalypse has only itself to blame for not actually happening. And yet, there’s always room for one more portent. Here it is, folks, and it’s a biggie: Jessica Friggin’ Simpson (pictured, right) is angling to star in a Working Girl remake. "I’m so excited about it," she says, "People are going to laugh."

Yes they will, Simpsie. They may cry, too. I know I get a little misty when I think of my favorite shoulder-padded, Carly Simon-driven fempowerment fantasy vitiated by your bubbleheadedness. This is… frankly, unnatural. There’s already been one "homage" to the 1988 Melanie Griffith (left) classic (seen here in the original Czech), the loathsome Little Black Book. Do we really need another demonstration of classical feminism’s devolution?

You tell me, Popwatchers. You tell me. Meanwhile, I’ll call Ashton Kutcher and see if he’s ready to stpe into Harrison Ford’s shoes. Verily, we live in diminished times.

addCredit(“Working Girl: The Kobal Collection; Jessica Simpson: Jamie McCarthy/WireImage.com”)

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  • Fran

    Oh, not again…. I don’t think I could take this…

  • Julie

    She’s so good on those ProActiv commercials that I’m sure she could pull this off. Not.

  • Elizabeth

    Yes, let’s please not do that.

  • Some Guy

    Maybe if someone usefull was there to guide her she could do a good job. I think some of the people around her now kiss her butt so much that even when they see her do something awefull they tell her shes doing great. I mean shes surrounded by family and friends, how much honesty could she possibly be getting? Did you listen to her CD? Did you see her in the two movies shes done? Whos telling her that what shes doing is great? Anyway, hopefully she will have a great cast around her and a great director. Maybe that will bring out the best in her.

  • Chris

    Straight to DVD.

  • WRC

    How long before “the powers that be” realize that nobody likes Jessica Simpson. Some of us may have enjoyed her schtick when she was Mrs. Lachey, but definitely NOT on her own.
    Go Team Nick!

  • Erin

    The Hollywood remaking machine is getting a little out of control. Actually, a lot.

  • Some Guy

    Oh no what a stupid comment. Team Nick! Wooo! Are you for real? I wonder if your sorry butt is married or if you have a significant other. I wonder how you would feel if you were publicly bashed. I wonder how you would feel if lies were made up about you along with the truth. I wonder what a public break up would do to your state of mind. Probably nothing since you have a frozen rock for a heart. You foul beast get some morals. Dont pick sides on something you know nothing about except for what you’ve been fed. Go drown in a pool filled with vomit you animal!

  • Ep Sato

    Scott, that’s not very nice. April 1 isn’t for a few more months….
    This IS an April fools joke, right? Mr. Brown, PLEASE tell us this is as true as that time I told everyone that some Iranian terrorists had taken over the local Sizzler (See? Good BS. It was actually what Chunk got called out for saying to the cops in “Goonies”).
    Jessica Simpson in a remade working girl? I don’t know why this bugs me so much, but a chill went up my spine as those words flashed accross my screen. This is AWFUL news. Say it ain’t so Scott! Please man, just one post that says “Ha ha you suckas the main man was just kidding!” PLEASE?!!!??!!??!!?!

  • Nath

    Isn’t it too early for the remake of a 1988 movie? Or isn’t there a law that prohibits one to remake a movie this early – with such a BAD actress? Could we make one up just for this?
    Please, say it aint’t so. She’s even awful in her own music videos…

  • Some Guy

    No you dramatic cow hes not lying. This has been news for ages. Luke Wilson is supposed to be in it as well. You must live under a rock or in a cave you Gollum looken mess. If you hate the idea so much at least give a reason. Dont go into these stupid dramatics and state the same thing at least eight different ways. We get it you broken record, we get it.

  • Ep Sato

    I wonder how we’d all feel if we thought that tuna was a bird and told the whole country how we felt. Or how we’d feel if we filmed a voyeuristic show about our married personal lives but then later complained that the media paid too much attention to us.
    Celebrities who want to entertain us at work but stay private at play usually do. Celebrities who invite the public into their lives by turning into a circus freakshow have no right to whine about it when their publicity seeking creation turns into Frankenstein’s monster.

  • free speech

    Wow, “some guy”, that was harsh. Is that you Joe Simpson? Sensitive much?

  • Some Guy

    No, its not Joe. Joe is busy at the moment but would you like to leave him a message? Tee hee hee. I just think some people are too willing to be evil when theres no need to be. I also think too many kiddies like talk so much poop they might as well get a job as an outhouse. If you dont know the truth then why speak like you do? Dont bees haten mmmkay? YALL BE JEALOUS BEACHES! GO RICKY, GO RICKY, GO RICKY!

  • Simon

    Why does Hollywood remake movies that should not be remade? Working Girl works with Melanie, Harrison and Sigourney. It will not work as a 2007 remake!

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