'The Bachelor: Rome': Crazy 1, Love 0

131159__jennifer_lBring on the hometown dates!

-Date No. 1, Sadie in San Diego: Sadie is guarding her heart. Sadie’s mom likes that Lorenzo "locks eyes." There’s a bonfire on "Moonlight Beach." Lorenzo asks Sadie if she’s trying to seduce him. Um, dude, haven’t you been listening to the voiceover? She’s a virgin.

-Date No. 2, Lisa in Portland: Hey, there’s Lisa’s "best friend" Allie! There’s Allie engaging in some light sabotage by insisting Lisa try on her wedding dress in front of Lorenzo, then filling in the guy on Lisa’s five-year marriage-and-procreation plan! Yeesh, there’s Lisa’s wedding magazines! Now there’s Lisa’s mom, calling her daughter’s marriage obsession "a little strange" and "scary." Dad, more diplomatic, notes, "My daughter’s a planner." But wait, before you go, Lorenzo, Mom’s going to force you to do some post-dinner Pilates on the living room floor! "I can see where Lisa got her charming qualities from," he says with a pained grin.

-Date No. 3, Jen in Miami: Jen (pictured, with Lorenzo) catches a baby shark whilefishing on a boat called "Hurricane." Lorenzo senses Jen’s dad hasguns. He’s right! (Spooky.) "I was nervous to meet her parents becauseit’s their only child. And I knew that her father had an extensive guncollection," he confesses to the camera. Smart boy. Jen’s dad waves arifle, informs Lorenzo it’s "for the individual who treats my daughterinappropriately." Hey, Mr. Jen, have you heard about next week’sovernight dates?

-Date No. 4, Agnese in Venice: Peculiar greeting from Lorenzo –"You look very Italian!" Agnese shows off a truly stunning piece ofarchitecture: The hospital where she was born! I make mental note whereI’m taking my next vacation. There’s a steamy gondola ride, a verysweet dinner with Agnese’s Italian-speaking family, a dance party withmad hats and terrifying masks, followed by what appears to be a verygenuine goodnight kiss. Woot! I think this guy’s actually falling forthe one decent chick left on this show.

Or not. Lorenzo gives his last rose to she-beast Lisa. He and Agneseembrace. Both of them start to sob. What the heck is wrong with thisguy? I’m so over this show right now. I’m totally not watching itanymore. What’s that? Next episode (on Nov. 13), "Sadie’s virginity gets put to theultimate test"? Okay, I’m in. Maybe the producers will threaten tosacrifice her to a volcano or something if she doesn’t succumb to thefantasy suite. Wouldn’t want to miss that, right?

Comments (28 total) Add your comment
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  • Deana

    I can’t believe Lorenzo bounced Agnese and kept Lisa. What I find disturbing is that he is 34 years old, and the three ladies left are: Sadie 23yrs old, Jen 24yrs old and Lisa 25yrs. I guess he likes them young(er).

  • dma69

    This thing is STILL ON????

  • dwight

    Lorenzo bounced Agnese b/c he knew the longer he kept her on the show, the more hurt she would be when he sent her home. He obviously truly cared for her, but it would be impossible to have a meaningful relationship with that communication gap. You have to hand it to him – – a lot of guys wouldn’t have cared if she only spoke Farsi, b/c she’s hot. Lisa will probably make it to the finals b/c that will give viewers the chance to rally around either Jen or Sadie (and against Lisa) rather than dividing viewers between Jen and Sadie. Lisa is absolutely wretched. But I felt cheated by the lack of ERICA!!! The promos made it sound like she would be included in more of the show. She is the best thing on TV right now, hands down.

  • janine

    Did anyone else notice how Lorenzo awkwardly attacked Jen with misplaced kisses on the boat? I laughed so hard. They try to make him look real suave, but he is really not.

  • Ms Daisy

    Perhaps he kept Lisa around to at least make his next decision pretty easy.
    But why, for God’s sake, must we continue to be subjected to Princess Erica???? Shouldn’t she be back home in her castle waiting for her prince?

  • ceejay

    Now I can see why Lorenzo is cavorting all over Manhattan with other chicks: he did NOT find love…. but I cannot fault him, as there was little to choose from: the obsesive tree-hugger who plays nice, while secretly having a plan; the virgin, who is so expert at teasing him that one can hardly believe she is in fact a virgin; the Florida chick with her stupid father with guns (more than scary, he looked pathetic cocking that gun), and the Italian girl, the best of the bunch by far, who had managed the impossible, to get across the language barrier and show her sincerity. The only problem with her is that when I was getting comfortable thinking that she was progressing with her English, she would find herself in moments when she could hardly speak at all. But the worst casualty is the program itself; this time around is the most boring installment of all, if one thinks that Erica was actually the only one to provide true entertainment. Bring back my funny socialite from Texas and give her her own sitcom. She is very funny.

  • laura

    annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Lorenzo is who?
    I can’t believe this lame show is still on … how many has there been … the only one I ever saw like 4 1/2 minutes of was the first one ….
    So good shows are cancel over junk like this … and we complian …

  • Alix

    Stay out of Rome, we have too much class for this.

  • Ellipsian

    Michael, we all love you. Please, PLEASE–step away from “The Bachelor”.
    This moment of intervention was brought you by Friends and Wannabe Lovers of Michael Slezak .

  • Ann

    I was gobsmacked when Lorenzo punted Agnese. She is clearly the best of the bunch and too good for this show. I’m hoping Lorenzo studied Italian (his family’s business is the manufacture & importing of Italian beauty products, his brother & mother speak fluent Italian, so how the heck does he NOT?) in the last few months and plans to hook up with Agnese when this whole mess is over. He really is the most likeable Bachelor, not a total tool, very genuine. But if he seriously hooks up with one of the 3 remaining brain dead, way-too-young women, then he may have fooled me.

  • Jill

    Worst Bachelor season. Ever.
    He may as well choose debutante Erica and get it over with.

  • Richard

    I must agree with Ellipsian. This show is beneath your talents.
    Just look at the few comments this Popwatch has generated so far. Really, dude give us back some snarky Heroes Popwatch to discuss, maybe later in the week. Toss us a bone. We know you love us, too.

  • LuLu

    God that was horrific. I was finally excited to root for one of the women (Agnese), and Lorenzo seemed honestly smitten with her. So instead he keeps timetable Lisa and crazy-family gun girl? What an idiot. I’m afraid I’m done watching also.

  • jeannie

    I sure don’t think there is any love connection as far as Jen is concerned. Has anyone else noticed how she turns away or pulls back every time Lorenzo goes in for a kiss??? I noticed it last week on their private date where they were supposedly so taken with each other in front of the fountain and then again last night every time they were together. It wasn’t a misplaced kiss on Lorenzo’s part, she definitely turned away.
    I don’t think he will propose to anyone, but I think Sadie is the front-runner. She is definitely the nicest.

  • Julie

    Slezak – I for one cherish these little TV-Watch-in-a-PopWatch items you’ve been writing for Bachelor so please ignore the naysayers and carry on.

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