What… could be more frightening… than overscheduling yourself?!?! Come, celebrate this most Hallowed of Weens by following our highly rigid to-BOO list. (Ha!) Fail to heed the following BOO-llet points (hee!), and I will place a bag of flaming BOO on your doorstep (har!)! Then I’ll BOO-urn down your house and tell everyBOOdy in the neighBOOrhood you’re a BOO-sex offender! Because I’m a BOO-rderline personality! And because it’s Halloween!
But don’t miss The View at 11am. Why not? Because it will feature Courtney Love (whom Gary says looked "puffy… but happy" on GMA), Evil Dead: The Musical and, as the capper, Kathie Lee Gifford. Keep clean shorts handy!
If you’re not properly terrified after wading through all that spooky Viewage, then tonight’s Boston Legal Dreamgirls drag trio (Spader, Shatner, Zimmer… horror!) ought to do the trick.
ThisOldHouse.com becomes This OldHauntedHouse.com as novelist Jennifer Egan renovates a heavily poltergeisted pile.
Liza Minnelli: Scary! Liza Minnelli playing the late Patsy Ramsey: Scarier! And just… wrong! It’s all happening on Law & Order: Criminal Intent. (Spoiler alert: It ends with Vincent D’Onofrio devouring everyone!)
Finally, end the evening with Conan: Now in Skelevision (pictured). Thanks to X-ray technology, you can see Andy Richter’s bones stuffed behind the couch cushions!