How big a TV fan are you really?

135041__munsters_lI love my TV. I love it so much that I always want it to come along on vacations with me. Sometimes I want to cuddle with it on the couch on Saturday mornings. But it has some uncomfortably hard edges. And I can’t watch my Men In Trees and Battlestar Galactica episodes when it’s that far from an electrical outlet, which often results in a fight. This weekend, during a particularly nasty row, my TV actually accused me of not really being that big of a TV Fan. Can you believe?

"What have you done to prove your fanaticism?" it screamed.
"Do I not own a Profiler t-shirt?" I retorted.
"But you never wear it out of the house," my TV shot back. "It’s like you’re… ashamed!"
"Am not!" I replied, with the slightest hesitation. "And anyway, don’t I see you five or six nights a week? Isn’t that enough for you?"
My TV laughed bitterly. "Did you read about the family in Waxahachie, Texas who spent four years building a copy of the house from The Munsters (pictured)? Now that’s loving your TV. All you’re capable of is boyish infatuation."
"Oh TV, I’m sorry," I whispered, a lump building in my throat. "I wanna know what love is."
"Love is naming your baby ESPN."
"It is?" I said, perplexed. "I just thought that was kinda frakked up."
"Yeah, actually, you’re right," said my TV, smiling again. "Wanna watch Battlestar?"
"Yes," I replied. "Yes I do. Just let me go get some Cap’n Crunch."
And just like that, everything was right with the world. The end.

Okay, your turn, PopWatchers: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done in the name of TV fandom? I spilled my guts just now, so I expect emotional honesty at the very least.

addCredit(“The Munsters: Everett Collection”)


Comments (39 total) Add your comment
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  • Celeste

    I haven’t really done anything crazy, beyond con costuming (which some people unfamiliar with cons might consider crazy). However, you get 50 bonus points for using the phrase “frakked up” in a sentence.

  • Maria

    To quote Homer Simpson “mmmm, television – teacher, mother, secret lover.”

  • Blair

    Disturbing….ly funny.

  • Katyna

    I wrote a paper for an art class about The X-Files. I had saved all these old magazines and TV Guides that had stuff about the X-Files and I wrote about the signifigance of the X.

  • Fer

    hmmmm, I’m a huge “House” fan, right? so I’ve recently tattooed “Everybody Lies” on my arm. is it enough for you?

  • Sparkler

    When I worked retail, I told my boss I had a prior commitment that kept me from working Wednesday nights, so that I’d never have to miss “Lost.”

  • Josh

    I faked sick and didn’t go into a theatre rehearsal so I could watch the season finale of “Party of Five”

  • brandonk

    My love affair with TV goes back a long way. My mom didn’t allow TV in the house when I was a kid, so every holiday spent at a relative’s house would find me watching their TV with rapt attention. It got so my family started making fun of me for it. We finally got a TV when I was about 13 or 14, and I loved “Star Trek: The Next Generation,” but my mom wouldn’t let me watch sci-fi. I would frequently sneak into the house when I was supposed to be doing chores or something and furtively watch it anyway. Eventually she cut the TV cord and kept the plug piece with her, and we had to splice it together when she allowed us to watch TV. That means “Jeopardy” and “Highway to Heaven,” everybody. She couldn’t keep us apart, though. We found ways to be together…at the electronics department, at friends’ houses, and of course on holidays.
    When I became an adult, my relationship with TV settled down into something more stable and open. We spend almost every evening together, and I try to schedule my work around my weekly TV-viewing schedule. Fortunately, I have two VCRs, so I almost never miss a moment! Plus, with the arrival of TV shows on DVD, I can catch up on all the shows I missed when I was young and oppressed. Thanks, TV. I love you.
    Thanks for reading…I don’t think I’m going to need my therapy this week!

  • EM

    I tried to reschedule a cross-country flight for work to see the 90210 series finale. Couldn’t make it work. Hda to try to tape it. Darn VCR screwed it up. Missed most of it. After all those years, I missed the end. (Well, not the very end. I saw the dancing/slowmo celebration.)

  • Stef

    I really wish I had your job.

  • Mary

    When I went on vacation with my boyfriend, I had him call the hotel to make sure that they got UPN so I could watch the Veronica Mars finale. Then I made us leave in the middle of the dinner so I could watch it. He still wants to date me, though I don’t know why?

  • TV Addicts Anonymous

    When I was living in Israel in 2000, I couldn’t bear the thought of missing an entire season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (The 5th season, in case you’re wondering). I claimed the spare TV/VCR for the whole year (with a note that read – “you can’t use this TV until May 2001″), left my parents with a row of 10 organized blank video tapes pre-labeled with the dates of their intended recordings (unfortunately this all occured before the age of TiVo…) and a calendar for the entire year with tuesdays circled in blue and CHANGE THE TAPE circled in red every 6th tuesday. Then I called them every monday night to remind them to record Buffy (and change the tape if necessary) the next day. Then I dreamed about what was going on in the season I was missing (I couldn’t watch any of the tapes till I came home for the winter holidays, and then again when I returned in June after the school year), and read every spoiler I could find online. When I got home, my parents had only successfully recorded about 6 episodes of the season, and I think 2 of them were reruns of the first 4. Ok, yes I am a little obsessive. Do any of you still respect me? Oh yeah, and I curl up with my TV every friday and saturday night since I haven’t had a date in 2 years. How about now? I thought not.

  • Cassie

    During my high school jobs, I always said I had a prior committment on Thursdays so I couldn’t work. That prior committment was most definitely “Friends.” I even joined the Yahoo group for the show and violently debated with strangers about characters’ actions and what would happen next. Most recently, my television love led me to write a 10 page paper about the pilot episode of “Arrested Development” for a class. I got an A.

  • Ariella

    brandonk – my dad cut the cord of our TV too! He fixed it up so that the TV plug had the same outlet as the wall, instead of a plug and then you had to use the double sided plug to connect them, and he took it to work with him. The idea was that my brother and I would have to do our homework before he would let us watch any TV when he got home. To be fair, this was a more drastic measure than his first tactic – he built a wooden box for the plug and put a combination lock on it. So our babysitter was only supposed to unlock the TV for us when we had finished our homework. But for some reason, she could not figure out how to open a combination lock, so she told me the combination to open it and I held this over my little brother for a year. Finally my dad figure out that we knew the combination and had been watching TV all after noon and then frantically locking it again as he pulled into the driveway. Then he put a lock on it that opened with a key that only he had. Then my brother and I destroyed the lock box in a fit of pique, prying it apart with my dad’s tool. That’s when he cut the cord. See you’re not the only one who wants to air his therapy sessions…

  • Ep Sato

    I went to a comic book convention dressed as Jayne Cobb from the tv show Firefly in an attempt to help get out more publicity for the movie Serenity. My reward? Free passes to see Serenity in the theater before it opened, so long as I went in costume.
    Keep in mind I am 30 and had not done any sort of public costuming in about 18 years before this.

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