Extreme Makeover: Whitney Houston Edition

155520__whitney_lDear God,

It’s me, Whitney. No, not that Whitney, the other one. Yeah. Question, speaking of my namesake: What in the hell did Houston promise You in order to all of a sudden look so damn good? And is it too late for me to get in on some of that action?

Look, I’m not great at taking care of myself, I’ll admit it. And I’m sure You get a little offended when I take the healthy body You gave me and treat it like crap — spill beer on it and walk into walls, set it on fire with cigarettes or what have you. But it’s not like I’ve been doing crack for the last 10 years, Lord. It is also not like I am implying in any way that the former Mrs. Brown dabbled in the freebasing arts. I’m just saying that I have not, by any means.

Anyway. Just wondering. You can go back to doing whatever it was You were doing. Don’t mind me.

Love in Christ,

Whitney

PS: Please don’t let them cancel Studio 60.

addCredit(“Whitney Houston: Lester Cohen/WireImage.com”)

Comments (26 total) Add your comment
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  • junior

    Come on, it’s Whitney! When you’ve got money and stylists and the will to look good, it’s not hard to achieve your goal. That said, she does look great (that foundation is a shade too white, no?) and I hope she decides to team up with some (Clive Davis-picked) producers and release another album as good as “My Love Is Your Love.”
    p.s. my fav line from the article is “Her skin looked luminous and hair perfectly styled as she stepped out at the charity ball.” only because that hasn’t been Whitney’s own hair on her head since the 80s (unless you count the fact that she bought it).

  • Lorenzo

    You see what happens when leave Bobby Brown? Now, don’t ever do this to us ever again, Whitney! Not you Pastorek! The “Show me the reciept” and “Crack is whack” Whitney.

  • paige

    yea congrats to whitney for making it look like she stopped sucking on the glass c*ck but looks can be very deceiving and i dont think she’s changed just yet. oh and please god… please cancel studio 60…

  • Stephanie Travitsky

    Her foundation is a shade too pale. And the blond? Look, just because the color looks good on Eve, doesn’t mean that it is going to look good on Ms. Houston. She looks old. I mean granny old.

  • Christina

    Am I the only one who doesn’t dig this look??? She looks like her aunt, Dionne Warwick! Which is not a bad thing, I know, but still! She looks old & pasty!

  • Lorenzo

    I am posting this everywhere, so forgive me if you’re annoy.
    http://www.niggaspace.com/
    How can something like this exist? Why hasn’t no one taken it down? I hope someone at EW checks it out and writes a blog about it because as a person of color, this offends me more than anything that Flava Flav could do on his TV show (which actually I like).

  • Nose

    I think she looks old. But maybe that is because I am getting old. I DO have a sudden urge to tell kids to get off my lawn……

  • Ep Sato

    I saw the extended photo spread this morning (co-worker was sending them around), and it’s clear to me that leaving Bobby Brown was a very wise choice for Whitney. Maybe it was the stress caused by being married to the Black Kevin Federline (or is Mr. Spears the white Bobby Brown? nah, they are both the male equivalents of Courtney Love), or a relief from being in front of Bravo’s cameras (or was it VH-1?). No matter what the cause, I am getting so emotional bebe because she looks so good to me.
    So, a note to Britney Spears: Whitney has shown you the way out. Leave that loser on the corner and go out on your own!

  • Tas

    I’m a Whitney fan, and I think she looks great! I’m so glad she got rid of Bobby and is back on track.
    She is currently working on a new CD with Clive Davis, whom she accompanied to the “Carousel of Hope” ball recently. She is unquestionably one of the greatest voices in music, and I for one, will be glad to hear it again. Watch out Mariah!

  • Richard

    Crack is pure evil and does terrible things to people. Question is: Can Whitney still sing?

  • Ed

    All I can say of this picture and the new Whitney is:
    Aaaahhhhhhhhhaaaahhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…will always love yoooooooooooo -aaaaahhhhhhhhh – u.

  • daisyj

    Whitney! You give that nice Mrs. Clinton her hair back right now!
    Honestly, kids these days…

  • Eddie

    She kind of looks like Mary Wilson in a way. But yeah, the wig could be better, but at least she has put on some weight and looks so much healthier.

  • Mike

    Dear Mariah,
    Do you see that headshot of Whitney above? I can tell from that cropped picture of Whitney that she is wearing more clothes than you wear on your entire tour.
    Please…put some clothes on.
    Thank you,
    Michael

  • Alice

    Now children, see what crack does to you!!!!

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