I sure hope all of you caught last night’s stirring season premiere of The Bachelor: Rome, or as my colleague Katy Caldwell refers to it, Twenty-Seven Girls Freaking Out Over One Guy in Rome. Just in case you didn’t, however, a quick vocabulary check will tell you everything you need to know: 36 mentions of the word ”prince,” 19 uses of the word ”princess,” and 19 references to the word ”fairytale” crammed in to a two-hour telecast.
Now in the interest of full disclosure, I watched a preview tape of the show that didn’t have all the final voice-over work done, but you get the idea. This season’s man in question, Prince Lorenzo Borghese (pictured), has more to offer than hair that’s shaped like a Nike swoosh. He’s a real-life descendant of Italian royalty, and as we all know, there isn’t a woman alive who wouldn’t secretly trade her career, her self-respect, and her morals for a meaningless title and a cosmetics-executive husband from New Jersey, right ladies? And while none of this season’s contestants declared their eggs were rotting right there on national television, there were still bountiful portions of painful awkward to go around. With that in mind, here were my three favorite moments from the episode.
(See Mike’s favorite moments after the jump.)
1. As hotel concierge Andrea (the one who declared, ”Rose or die!I’ve got to have it!”) desperately bursts into a full opera aria in aplay to get five seconds of airtime Lorenzo’s attention, surly Rita, not missing a beat, turns to The Bachelor and asks, ”So, do you live in the city?”
2. Asked by ”Eh?”-spouting Canadian Sarah if he’s everdated a black woman, Lorenzo says no, but only because to this point, he’salways been in long-term relationships. So should we assume he’scomfortable with interracial dating as long as it’s strictly casual?
3. Sweet, big-eyed Rosella wins the Allie G. Award for MostDelusional Bachelorette. ”I consider myself like a Cinderella. Ireally have so much faith that I’m gonna be a princess and this is mydestiny, and that was just a little thing I had to do,” Rosella saysof selling her car so she could purchase a gowns-heavy Bachelorwardrobe. I know the poor kid probably thinks her late father droppedthe ball by not carrying her to round two; here’s hoping some day she’sself-aware enough to realize that by getting her booted in week one,dear departed Dad did her the biggest favor of all.
What do you think of this season’s Bachelor cast? Can youhandle a full season’s worth of soul-crushingly retro Cinderellafantasies? And is anyone else planning a drinking game where you do ashot every time Desiree ends a sentence with ”baby”?
Comments (1-20) of 20 Add your comment
Unlike previous seasons, I find myself pretty much loathing every single woman on the show. Even “Tree Hugger” (her real name escapes me at the moment)’s voice grates on me like I’m a freaking block of cheddar. Don’t even get me started on “I flew coach for the first time ever” girl or “She-whose-face-is-in-a-permanent-scowl”. My favorite moment though? When Lorenzo asked the Italian girl if she likes to shoot people. Classic.
I can’t believe this show is back on. I missed the premier, and I refuse to watch the rest. Besides, the bachelor looks like a doofus.
Still watch just to see how ridiculous these girls act. He has weird taste…he keeps the Permanent Scowler, Baby Desiree (those droopsies are in need of a bra) and the Paris-wannabe socialite?!
My Mom’s Italian, born/raised there and let me tell you, a Prince in Italy means zippo, it’s just a title, often no fame/fortune goes along with it.
Thank you for writing about this show! My husband & I still laugh out loud at the ridiculous circus that is The Bachelor. It’s a great Monday night brain candy show.
What, no mention of drunk Heather spouting off about her good looks?
There’s princes in ITALY? well, there’s something I didn’t learn about in The Godfather.
Circus…brain candy..such a good description of The Bachelor.
That Heather looked like a younger Dyan Cannon.
These girls are lowest of the low. No class at all. They all seem like The Flava of Love rejects. Irritating!
”So, do you live in the city?”
that had me rolling on the ground laughing, my friend and i had to rewind it 3 times so we could laugh some more
I highly reccomend the bachelor drinking game: everytime somebody says the word prince, princess or makes a reference to a fairy tale, DRINK!
it will get the job done, i gurantee!
The phrase “eggs were rotting” almost made me spit lemonade on my keyboard. Thanks Mike, good work.
Let’s all change the channel to VH1 and watch Flavor of Love. It’s real, in your face, and ABC keeps ripping it off!
The only one I like is Sadie – the rest will amuse me for a few Monday nights….or annoy me, baby…
I only watch so I can feel better about my life. LOL!!! I’m married and I didn’t have to go on national tv to get married or dumped. take your pick. And I only watch super nanny to feel better about being a mother. ABC aka therapy.
these women are scary. someone please tell me they are simply actresses playing the roles of such pathetic fools. Like we’re suppose go believe any of these idiots could be actually employed as lawyers, nurses, or teachers?? shudder.
I never watch the Bachelor, but I must say that the above picture doesn’t do this guy justice. He’s really hot in a modest sort of way. And who cares if it’s all a sham? Nobility isn’t just a title- the most noble people don’t have titles. He’s good looking seems nice, and is gainfully employed. I don’t think he’ll find love on this show because it’s an artificial situtation, but whoever lands him in the real world could do a lot worse.
The Italian bachelor looks like a nice and decent guy who should have no problem getting a girl. And if he has to choose a wife, from this bunch of empty-headed, ignorant and mostly pathetic women, then I guess in addition to his being nice and decent, he is just plain stupid and pathetic himself. I am not impressed with his choices.
I watched the last 30 minutes which was like watching a train wreck. A lot of reality t.v. (except for Flava and Dancing with the Stars) tends to draw me in. The most embarrassing moments that come to mind were when the Italian girl danced for the bachelor, and when one of the girls wanted to give him a kiss, but was only allowed to kiss his ear. The aria made me squirm as well. Previews of the upcoming eposodes brings to mind “bachelorettezillas”.
So…which show is most “done”? this or “The Apprentice”?
Why isn’t this show cancelled yet?
My sister told me that the lap dancer is from Utah. I am guessing she is not a Morman. If she is, it would be quite a contrast to the other Morman lady who was on during Andrew’s season. She was billed as a virgin.
This thing is STILL not cancelled???? Oh, God!