Dear Janet,
Look, I know we haven’t been on speaking terms since I took you to task for your dismal single and video for "Call on Me." You felt betrayed by my "what have you done for me lately?" attitude; I was disappointed by your horrid choice of lead single for the upcoming 20 Y.O. But hey, that’s the way love goes, right?
Anyhow, I just got back from vacation and watched your new video for "So Excited," and — whew! — it’s a major improvement. Granted, I have no idea what the heck you’re saying in that breathless kitten voice of yours (surely, a lyric like "I’m rubbin’ that spot for you, anytime that you want me to" constitutes an FCC violation, no?), but no matter: It’s good to see you gettin’ your dance on. When it comes to choreography, you’re the queen. I mean, who else could pull off that move where you yank your naughty dancer’s hair and give him the nuh-uh finger wag? Hawt! That said, just a few concerns:
1) How come you shot half the video in Flash-cam™? The way your top magically appears and disappears — leaving you to clutch your girls — left me clutching my pearls. Yeah, I know, you’re staunchly unapologetic for Nipplegate, but next time, how ’bout just you, your backup dancers, and a stationary camera? Show these kids that good choreography doesn’t start and end in the editing room.
2) What’s with the sudden appearance of that yellow sportscar at the two-minute mark? If it’s part of some product-placement initiative, I hope they’re paying you well.
3) Also not getting the occasional skeleton people. Were you trying to use up some excess FX budget?
4) Making out by the men’s urinals? You nasty!
5) Oh, and one more thing: There’s nothing goofier than being filmed while sensually eating a strawberry. Seriously.
Anyway Janet, good to have you back in form. See you on the charts.
Toodles,
Mike
P.S. Thanks for throwing a little work in Khia’s direction…glad to know I’m not the only one still digging "My Neck, My Back."
yeah I did not get the sportscar at all.
Skeleton people and making out in the restroom? That sounds suspiciously like the Chemical Brothers video for “Hey Boy, Hey Girl.” Janet blows.
It is too bad that Janet has become a flasher. She should realize that what she is doing is not talent, it is just sad!
Michael girl, glad you touched on this issue because I’m going off:
1st, Janet, So Excited was “exciting” the first 2 or 3 seconds that I listened to it, but now I’m bored – again.
2nd, your lyrics, sexual exploration, so 3 albums ago; Madonna did Erotica back in 93 and has come back 2 more times since then – “what have you done (different) for us lately?
3rd, the So Excited video is a mesh of Don’t Stop and all your videos since Control, get some new moves.
4th, I won’t be buying your album when it comes out on the first day, I’ll wait until I can buy it second hand for cheap!
You give me cheap, I’ll give right back to you – snap, snap and I’m out!
Soory Michael, this ain’t going to work for your girl, Janet.
Yes, the sudden yellow car is odd, especially in a video where all the colors are so muted. But my favorite is the wind machine in the nasty men’s urinal. Why can’t they make that a standard feature??
A lot of the questions and concerns are justified by the theme of the video, which is x-ray vision. It explains the boob-flashing, the car, the urinals, etc. Can’t we just all at least make room for the possibility that there’s a reason for all the things you don’t understand instead of writing them off as pointless?
I freakin love this video and song Janet is def. back. I was also bored by the 1st single but I truly can’t wait for her cd on the 26th.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i liked it, but i like everything
This song and video is HOT. Janet isnt “back”, she still here. She never left. If the superbowl never happend Damita Jo would have sold millions of copies. The video does have similarities to “All Night (dont stop), but only a select few people saw it. Only BET played it. Michael, please do a story on how MTV still wont play Janets video’s. Im sorry but Justin was on that same stage and his video is in heavy rotation. Also tell MTV to get over it. It was a breast and it happened like 3 years ago. I have seen more skin on MTV anyway.
It was like a video malfunction.
“iz ya, iz ya, iz ya hongray-ay-ay” for this video – NOPE!
Janet, sorry but this album is going NO WHERE!
Janet, Fire Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. Their beats are as stale as that Cab Calloway cameo you tried back on Rhythm Nation.
Dear Janet,
It’s official, you only have you to blame for this… this… HOT MESS!
Don’t blame Jimmy Jam or Terry Lewis, who have crafted good music for you in the past (listening to “The Velvet Rope” right now) or your “boyfriend” Jermaine Dupri (who clearly doesn’t love you enough because he gave Mariah the good songs) or the director Joseph Kahn (who made the fab “Doesn’t Really Matter” vid for you).
This is your fault. Instead of looking back at your career (which is what I thought the point of “20 Y.O.” was supposed to be), you are trying to play catch up with all the young things. You don’t have to compete with Danity Kane. Let me say that again. You don’t have to compete with DANITY KANE! You are Janet Jackson! Learn it, live it, love it. I say this with love of course….
One of her worse videos ever. The whole sex kitten act is played out. You’re not 25 anymore Janet. Act your age! Yu can still be productive without the sex routine.