Whitney and Gary talk about the Apocalypto trailer!
WP: so I think Tim Stack really summed it up best when he said, "Good luck with this one, Disney."
GS: yeah, mel’s personal unmarketability aside, i’m still scratching my head as to what this movie is about
WP: I think it’s about piercings. also body paint.
GS: if mel’s smart, then, he’ll get Dilana from Rock Star to do a music video for it.
WP: ooh! I actually was thinking maybe a nice remake of "We Don’t Need Another Hero" from Mad Max! Except sung in ancient Mayan! but so how do you market this thing? it looks like something IMAX rejected.
GS: yes, the national geographic channel might be the place to start with the marketing. what i’m wondering is, if you call the movie apocalypto, why is there no freakin’ apocalypse?
WP: well, it’s all about your perspective. I mean, if you were an ancient Mayan, these events would probably look kinda sucky to you.
GS: what killed this civilization off, tetanus?
WP: I heard it was videogames that did them in.
GS: and the Jews
WP: I hear Mel’s next movie will be about how the Jews took out the dinosaurs.
GS: they weren’t kosher. jurassic pork.
WP: OMG, Gary. We are making Jurassic Pork, like, right now.
GS: we’ll be famous on YouTube
WP: note how difficult it is to have a serious conversation about this movie
GS: It’ll be even harder once the star (don’t know his name) is caught making out with Paris Hilton
WP: I keep wanting to make a Pocahontas reference but I fear that makes me a racist.
GS: It reminds me, actually, of last year’s The New World.Unspoiled Native American paradise, great cinematography, zero interestfor anyone who’s not an anthropologist. (if anything, I’m being wayunfair to Terence Malick.)
WP: what I’m looking for is a nice ancient Mayan romantic comedy. Must Love Panthers, starring John Cusack and that girl from Whale Rider
GS: OMG. That’ll make a great double bill with Jurassic Pork.
WP: how many of those piercings do you think are real, btw? and likethe forehead marking things? like the pockmarks or whatever? thosecreep me out.
GS: Maybe the civilization was done in by lack of proper exfoliants. If only they’d had Biore
WP: Apocalypto: Brought to you by Noxema. Noxema: For clearer skin… and a longer-lasting civilization.
GS: A movie with an astringent, but not abrasive take on ancient cultures.
WP: gold, Gary.
GS: Another possible merchandising tie-in: Chichen-Itza-Biskit crackers.
WP: wait, I wanna think of one! ummm… Fisher-Price My First Human Sacrifice playset?
GS: There you go!
WP: yes!
Me can’t open trailrrrz. Grrrrggghhh.
But I will remember Chichen-Itza-Biskit and longer-lasting civilization 4 ev R. Forever I tell you!
And I had like, zero interest in this film until Martyr Mel threw down with the Jews (shocker!), and we now need a scientific calculator to express the wholly negative numberosity of my interest. Itza snore!
An “Inked” goes back in time special on A & E…… How would they pay Carey Hart? In cocoa beans.
A movie about ancient Mayans spoken in ancient Mayan directed by Mel Gibson.
I’m not going. Let me count the ways.
Even if it *weren’t* Mel Gibson, there’s no way I would want to see this hot mess.
I wanted to see it before the Mel breakdown and I still do. Probably just wait for the DVD unless the reviews are out of this world.
Too, too funny guys. The best part is that it’s much easier to take your conversation seriously than it is this movie. Maybe they can market it as a tourist attraction to wherever those Mayans were from. I tend to confuse them with the Incans myself…
I actually really want to see it. Mel Gibson may be crazy and offensive but he’s one heck of a director. Braveheart and even The Passion of the Christ are great works of art and I have faith he’ll turn in something intriguing here.
Still, I’d rather just see the behind the scenes documentary where I’m sure he throws feces around and screams at the Jews.
It’s interesting how xenophobic and ignorant people are in this country. It’s no surprise that Americans are lagging far behind other peoples in this planet when it comes to education.
How the heck anyone would confuse the Mayans with the Incans is beyond me, they’re in two different continents and two different hemispheres. Ah, stupidity is rampant with the racist pigs in america.
ha ha ha ha!
more stupid comments by stupid people! The mayans were an incredibly advanced society, they’d discovered the importance of zero long before the idiots in europe even knew the concept.
They’d mastered the art of astronomy and tracking of stars and celestial beings (comets, moon, stars, sun, etc) WAY before galileo had.
I guess their only flaw was having brown skin and I guess that would explain why americans have little to no interest in this movie.
Right on, Joe! I totally agree with you. I’m really looking forward to watching this movie. I do not know about Mel Gibson the person, but the director has a great sense for storytelling. I know the story of Jesus’ crucifiction backwards and forwards, but THE PASSION had me glued to my seat.
Besides, it’s either APOCALYPTO or DUDE WHERE’S MY CAR?, or some generic romantic comedy starring Kate Hudson, or a lame remake of an old 70′s horror flick starring Paris Hilton. At least APOCALYPTO is an interesting concept not done before.
All of you can dislike Mel Gibson, but judging a movie before it’s even out in theatres is a somewhat stupid!
Oh, speaking of the Mayans’ advanced civilization, I also read that they created the first screw-on lid for a jar. I still don’t want to see this movie, though.
“Screw on Lid” I’m there. Opening night. Front Row. But, since it’s a Mel movie, how long before the inevitable torture scenes?
There are about 300 movies released every year. You have to judge movies before they come out.
Great concept, something outside the hollywood formula, aside from the mel gibson scandal, this is a movie that caughted my attention since the story that Time Magazine did about it early this year. And i am so glad that is told in the mayan language and is not mayans that magically talk in english, like in other movies where the plot and the story is set in a non anglo saxon country but everyone speaks english…
“mayans that magically talk in english, like in other movies where the plot and the story is set in a non anglo saxon country but everyone speaks english…”
Yssys, you also forgot to say non-white peoples who magically look white. For instance, Katherine Zeta-Jones playing some mexican or other and Antonio Banderas (I don’t care if he’s from spain, he’s european/anglo) playing a mexican folk hero.
Since this movie doesn’t star any white actors/actresses,I would bet my left testicle that it will be shunned by most of the US. Luckily, for Mel Gibson, the rest of the world ins’t as racist and ignorant as the the US population. I’m white and sometimes, I’m disgusted at the way my own race acts towards others.
As a nation, we don’t even try to understand others. Agreed. Except that in non-English speaking countries, they dub their own language into English speaking movies. One thing the world does agree on: subtitles suck.