You don’t have to tell me I’ve turned into a cranky old man — last night’s deeply dull MTV Video Music Awards was reminder enough. Even after I decided to go the positive route and focus this blog item on the evening’s best performance, I still found myself Scowling! At the TV, mainly because the stars of the show seemed hellbent on sabotaging themselves. Take Beyonce’s performance of "Ring the Alarm." Her choreography (think: Rhythm Nation, only on the wrong side of the law) was so hot, it made Justin Timberlake look like a Mickey Mouse Clubber. Her look was so scorching, I’d bet the farm on a surge in trenchcoat sales this fall. And to top it off, she sounded absolutely fantastic. Except, that is, for the choruses, where Sasha inexplicably (yet typically) relied on a pre-recorded track — I won’t say she lip-synched, since B wasn’t attempting to hide it — essentially killing all the power and rage that she built during the verses. Likewise, Panic! At the Disco sounded solid on "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies," but ended up getting upstaged by the antics of their Moulin Rouge-y dancers, while Busta Rhymes’ "Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See" was over before I had a chance to get into the groove.
That means the gold star goes to Christina Aguilera (pictured), who came to the rescue with the mournful ballad "Hurt" (check it out here), and provided proof positive that when it comes to wowing a crowd, nothing — not a horde of bellydancers (yeah, Shakira, we’re bored with the song now too), not a flash of pyrotechnics — can match the real thing: an insanely talented vocalist connecting deeply with her material. Not only that, Xtina’s vocal and visual elegance was a stark contrast to former media rival Britney Spears, whose backstage "comedy" act with hubby Kevin Federline (the centerpiece of which focused on them misplacing their infant son) was, to paraphrase the night’s biggest winner, something of a sin and a tragedy. Ring the alarm, indeed!
I must be getting old too because I was so bored by the awards show last night, but I have been bored with them for several years now. The first thing I thought while watching Beyonce was the dance moves from Rhythm Nation; glad I am not the only one who thought so. And Jack Black totally bombed as I knew he would.
Trust me, you don’t have to be a cranky old man to realize the VMAs were BORING. Nothing was funny, nothing was good, nothing was exciting. Its become just like the other thousands of award shows out there.
Christina was definitely the best, with Beyonce a close second.
The show has become like a black hole, sucking the energy from even reliably fizzy performers like Jack Black and Sarah Silverman. OK Go’s treadmill dance was the only production number that seemed to work. I agree that Christina’s song was engaging, and it would be sheer obstinacy to deny that she’s a killer singer. But I’m appalled that the most interesting musical act, the Raconteurs, essentially provided bumpers between unfunny comedy bits and tedious backstage traffic direction. Even when they were knocking out a killer version of ZZ Top’s “Cheap Sunglasses” with Billy Gibbons, we only got to see about 30 seconds.
Not that anyone cares about awards, but, um, the PUSSYCAT DOLLS? The looks on the faces of Shakira (who has more talent in her navel than all the P.Dolls combined) and Wyclef during the Dolls’ ENDLESS acceptance speech was one of the few moments of honesty in this travesty, which actually qualifies as a train wreck that was easy to stop watching.
Justin Timberlake. Yes please.
I didn’t think it could get any better until my girl B came on. My Love and Ring the Alarm are two scorching hot songs from two people that (gasp!) have actual talent and showmanship. The next two Tuesdays are gonna be awesome!
Best: Beyonce was hot, hot, hot! I don’t care that everyone seems to hate that song…I can get enought of it. I love her being all angry…wait, what does that say about me?
Worst: Sarah Silverman’s “comedy”…does anyone find her as clever as she apparently finds herself? And do straight guys really think she’s hot? She reminds me of the transexual teenager killer Angela from the first Sleepaway Camp movie.
The show was so bad that i was hoping that at the end Ashton Kutcher would said You’ve been punked!
I know everyone dug the Beyonce performance but I thought it was a very light version of Rhythm Nation. Janet’s moves could have put the smack down on Beyonce. The best coreography came when she acted like she was full of hydrolics and it’s easy to pull that off when you have a trench coat hiding any imperfections. I also found it hard to believe that police in riot gear (no less) had to restrain her. I know that was the vibe of the whole song but come on, it’s Beyonce we are talking about here, not Kelis or Lil Kim. Sheep in wolf’s clothing.
Yes, we’re all tired of Hips Don’t Lie but I never tire of Shakira or hearing Wyclef say “Shakira, Shakria” at the opening of the song. It was cute and I loved it.
Justin Timberlake did a great job and aside from the whole Pee-Wee outfit, it looked great too.
Favorites: JT, Shakira, Beyonce, and Christina. I really enjoyed Busta doing Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See – it was a great addition to Hype’s tribute. I just wish we could have seen the whole song instead of a portion of it.
Snore of the night: the boys from Jackass doing shameless plugs for their new movie. I’m sorry that the VMA winners had to share the stage with those morons.
How about the moment when Pink won for “Stupid Girls” and had to accept the award from Nicole Ritchie? I thought that was great. Did you notice Pink rolling her eyes in disgust that she was going to have to go up there and interact with Ritchie? Her valley girl mocking was hysterical. Nicole def. had her “fake switch” on overdrive.
I must be getting old as well. Used to love watching the VMAs, but I ended up watching BIG BROTHER and THE OFFICE reruns instead. I tuned in the last hour, but wasn’t even paying attention.
Christina – YES!!! Wow. Gorgeous. Performance.
JT – Mr. Charisma
Beyonce – Is that all you got in that bag for me Santa?
Pussycat Dolls – Bottom of the Barrel
Turned on quickly catching Beyonce’ and dancers in high boots and raincoats. Changed channel just as quickly.
Once again the producer’s final vote decides the winners of the VMA’s. This year they “apparently” let the public vote on their favorites in all major categories. Being a biast, huge Madonna fan, I bet that she did receive the most votes from fans in her nominated categories, but she came out winnerless. It’s frustrating, but who really cares about the video’s anymore, MTV doesnt even play a video anymore unless its a 30 sec snippet on TRL or the full version at 3 AM. A video just isnt a video anymore. Record companies are not supplemeting the costs of videos; you can simply tell. So why even hand out the ridicolous moonmen anymore?
Finally, lets say the lack of the Madonna “factor” by her not being there was partially a reason the VMA’s are not as fun anymore. Her past performances and her simply showing up gave those years huge ratings and there was always a lot of water cooler gossip. I wish they would have included her playing in Paris lastnight, at least their would have been something to watch.
I admit, the VMA’s last night were kinda boring. The jokes fell flat, but the performances were cool. The thing that gets me is that everyone expects the VMA’s to pull off some outrageous and offensive behavior. I mean, where does it say that every VMA has to use shock and awe shenanigans to wow the crowd? Has our culture gotten so used to the increasingly offensive shock value of celebrities that anything short of Christina Aguilera ripping her dress off would’ve been deemed unacceptable?
I liked Beyonce’s trenchcoat dress, but the song blows and the fact that it took 3 minutes and 45 seconds for her to disrobe is UNACCEPTABLE.
Also, watching Shakira move is NEVER boring, even if it’s to a song we’ve heard a million times. I thought she’s been on tour, which would explain why her song was not heavily choreographed/orchestrated specifically for the show.