Today in 'Snakes on a Plane': Snakes on a list

9539__snakes_l_3Since the dawn of human history, man has both feared the snake and sought to make cheesy movies about it. Also since the dawn of human history, man has sought to make arbitrary lists and argue about them online. These two deep-seated compulsions come together in IGN’s Top Ten Snake Movies, a celebration that begins with Dean Cain’s Boa. (Why are you snickering? All I said was “Dean Cain’s boa.” Hey, stop it!)

There’s a lot to squabble about here, including the definition of a “snake movie” (King Kong? Raiders? Boogie Nights?) and whether this is a list or just the Sci-Fi Network’s Wednesday evening programming grid (plus King Kong, Raiders, and Boogie Nights). And then, of course, there’s the obligatory inclusion of Snakes on a Plane, which is both the list’s raison d’etre and its Achilles heel — how can you put a movie no one’s seen on your Top 10 Snake Movie list? Aren’t you risking the derision of the snake-movie-ranking community?

Looking at this serpentine assemblage, it’s impossible to miss the impact of cheap-and-crappy CGI on the snake movie genre. Technology has allowed us to create ever-more-Byzantine snake-taculars: Boa vs. Python! Anaconda vs. Boa! Kramersnake vs. Kramersnake! (Snake divorce is really hard to computer-animate, FYI.) The most recent crop of snake-centric film is entirely the result of geeks at workstations, writing/animating on very little sleep and the subliminal influence of all those herbal Viagra come-ons.

And thank goodness for them, the snake-makers. They’ve kept a noble genre relevant. They are the real heroes, and will be rewarded with swift, near-painless deaths when the snakes take over.

Discussion questions: How would you like to be eaten by a snake? Also: Do the producers of Venom feel snubbed, having been slapped in the face with Dean Cain’s Boa? (What? What did I say?) Oh yeah, and what’s your favorite snake movie?

Tags:

Comments (13 total) Add your comment
  • BB

    What no “SSSSSSS”? http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0070622/
    That movie has a Snake Man in it (half-snake half-man), it’s totally creepy and campy!

  • Ceballos

    I’m sitting here eating lunch and i came THIS close to doing a real-life spit take when i read “Kramersnake vs. Kramersnake”. VERY nice.

  • Lisa

    That snake scene in Indiana Jones was pretty awesome “Snakes. I hate snakes”

  • Dominique L.

    I actually thought Hunt For the Blood Orchid was better tha Anaconda. But who am I to judge?

  • Joe

    Oh man, it’s gotta be Python with Robert Englund and Casper Van Dien. It is B movie fantastic and feature god-awful bad CGI (the villain is actually just one GIANT snake).
    Ahh direct to video creature features. Let’s redo this conversation as “creatures from the deep” (Octopus, Lake Placid, Komodo). Soooo good!

  • Josh

    I’d like to take a moment to give props to some animated snakes. First off, Disney ones, like Kaa of “Jungle Book” and Sir Hiss of “Robin Hood”. Second, the little-seen evil snakes of “Rikki Tikki Tavi.” And third, GI Joe’s arch foes COBRA. http://www.stomptokyo.com/img-m5/gi-joe-the-movie-a.jpg
    Oh and let’s not forget “Snake People” movies of Boris Karloff.

  • ep sato

    I don’t know about movies, but to me the best snake stories have got to be the Little Prince (the french story about a boy who catches comets), and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode where Meatwad gets a pet snake. They got the snake drunk AND the snake ends up eating three of the main characters!
    I didn’t look but did Romancing the Stone make the cut? Michael Douglas kills a poisonous snake (and eats it) in the first 20 minutes of that kickazzed movie…

  • ep sato

    Oh Josh, you get mad props for mentioning COBRA! Remember that Transformers episode where one of the bad guys teams up with Cobra Commander? I loved that one!
    Is Al QAEDA really COBRA with a less cool sounding name? They’re led by a megalomaniac, their shady, inexplicably well funded, and have a passionate hatred for all things good and just. And with all that explosive gel bomb plot, maybe COBRA (i mean AL Qaeda) was trying to remind us all who the real snakes on a plane are…

  • Mark

    oh man, BB beat me to it. i was going to mention the fantastic movie Sssssssss from the 70’s. i was like 9 or 10 when i first saw it & it totally freaked me out. i will never forget the scene at the freak show carnival where you see the little snake man. those of you who have seen this movie will definitely remember what i’m talking about. it stays with you for life. just like the demon doll from Trilogy of Terror, another classic 70’s movie. love it love it love it.

  • Esther Kustanowitz

    When I read “Top Ten List of Snake Movies”, I heard “A List of Ten Snake Movies.” I think we need to fight this list compulsion, even if it turns out to have evolutionary significance.

  • kanez harwell

    yoooooooooooo man i love this movie so much and the snakes

  • xdgfw daqhz

    dxnz ljud wnvctpd bfmawrcl sjzbqh wxhzye sfpvkihz

  • off the grid living

    We’re a gaggle of volunteers and opening a brand new scheme in our community. Your website offered us with helpful information to work on. You have done a formidable activity and our whole neighborhood might be thankful to you.

Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos

Advertisement

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP