Whitney Houston is 43 today, and what we’re gonna do right here is go back — way back — to a time when Madonna herself slept in fear of the potent pipestress’ power. So join me, if you’d be so kind, in a rousing sing-a-long of a celebratory ditty, sung to the tune of Whitney’s 1985 smash, ”How Will I Know.” (Click here if you need to brush up on the melody.) Okay then, on the count of three…
There’s a girl I know, wears a big bow in her hair
It’s not right, but okay, quite the poster-girl for D.A.R.E.
When she saved her love, we couldn’t seem to get enough (uh-huh)
But these days, it’s tragic, girlfriend’s lookin’ kinda rough
Ooh, hell to the no (Just Whitney was pallid)
Hell to the no
Hell to the no (But you give good ballads)
Hell to the no
Hell to the no, still we’ll always love you
We say a prayer for lil’ Bobbi K too
Say ”no more drama,” it just can’t be beat
Ask Mary J. ’cause she knows about these things
Hell to the no, your name is not Susan
Our love is yours at the heartbreak (hotel)
The Bodyguard‘s on 12 times a week
Can’t change the channel, oh I’m such a freak!
Thank you Slezak, that was the highlight of my day thus far. I almost liked it better than Paula Abdul’s tribute featuring the melody from “Rush, Rush.”
Michael! Again, you are the man.
I’ve never been a big Whitney Houston fan(I do love One Moment in Time, Love will Save the Day, remember that last one from 88?) but I am rooting for her to pull out of the mess she’s been in. Radio could use her voice again; she still sings better than anyone on the radio now not named Mariah, Alicia, or Christina.
Bravo. Let’s hope that Miss Whitney finds her voice and the cojones to kick Bobby to the curb.
You’ve outdone yourself again! Bravo!
Slezak that was fantastic. lol. Hou-stick turns 43. Happy b-day.
Dont you think that Whitney Houston is kinda taking the same patht hat Billie Holiday took? Amazing vocalist and female singer, succumbs to drug use and rumors and personoal turmoil. Its all very sad. Yet true.
***Whitney Sings The Blues***
I heard that she does infact have brain cancer or a tumor growing. Its all really sad.
I am in awe.
That was great!! Happy Birthday Whitney!!!!
Will you please redo an MJ song for his birthday?!? “Beat It” perhaps?
Slezak, you’re the BEST!!! I miss Whitney. I was watching her sing the national anthem at a Superbowl (thanks Sports Guy and YouTube) a few years back and she was pretty phenomenal. It’s almost too sad, really, to make fun of her at this point.
haha, that was a good one michael. I do have to say that I miss WH. That’s WH of the 80′s!
“Couldn’t we almost have it all, when love was all we had worth giving”…
“aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaahahahahahahahahahaaa” …this one could be any whitney song of the 80′s.
Who is the Michael Slezak and why isn’t he in pictures?
You are very witty, and I shouldn’t be reading these things because I have invoices to process, but I am addicted to this thing…so good. Keep it up.
Ed, you’re right. Why isn’t Slezak in pics? What’s up with that?!?! I Love Whitney, and it’s just sad that her life is falling apart. I’d Love for her to just be back Singing the way she used to. I remember that someone compared her singing to a Stativarius at one point! Oh how I Miss the Whitney Houston of yesteryear! Can anybody find that AT&T “Your True Voice” Commercial? There may be a Mariah, Celine, etc. (Don’t get me wrong, I Love them Too!); but just Whitney just delivering a line, just gives you goosebumps. She makes you feel all the way down to the depth of one’s soul. Oh God, how I Miss her! Please come back, Whitney! That would be a great Birthday present to yourself and your fans!
Sweet birthday tribute, Michael! For more Whitney lyrical fun, you should play the game I learned from my neighbor. He substitutes the word “drugs” for “love” in all of her songs, giving you gems like “Saving All My Drugs For You,” “I Wanna Dance with Somebody Who Drugs Me,” and “You Give Good Drugs.” (Blair, if you couldn’t process invoices before this, your day is now officially toast.)