Dear readers:
We recently received word from the Department of Diva Affairs that a pair of high-profile videos have become available for public consumption. The following is a PopWatch advisory on both clips:
Jessica Simpson, ”A Public Affair” (top): Do not be fooled by early reports labeling this Brett Ratner-directed video as a rollicking good time focusing on Simpson’s night at the roller rink with pals Eva Longoria, Christina Applegate, and Christina Millian. Alas, there’s nary a drop of spontaneous energy to be found in this carefully choreographed affair, and unappetizing turns from Ryan Seacrest and Andy Dick don’t help the mood either. Still, you might get a chuckle imagining Longoria phoning her agent from the shoot and huffing, ”Look, I said I’d make a cameo in this crappy video, but there’s no way I’m putting my tongue on that NewsRadio freak.”
Fergie, "London Bridge" (bottom): Call me naïve, but even after repeated listens, I have no clue which of Fergie’s appendages or accessories she’s referring to in the song’s title. (Maybe it’s better that way.) Still, the clip for this addictive-like-crack track is pretty standard-issue: the bouncy car, the stuffy club (a la Eve’s ”Let Me Blow Ya Mind”), the backup hooches, the yadda yadda yadda. Its one saving grace? Seeing Fergie-Ferg get drrty with a couple of uptight bobbies. (Yes, bobbies, get your heads outta the gutter!) In the battle of videos with inappropriate licking action, this one trumps ”A Public Affair” big time.
I think Jessica’s video is a great summer time video. She really didn’t have much to work with that horrible “Holiday” knockoff of a song. But thats another post. Fergie on the ohter hand should stick to being in a group. the song and the video sucks!!!!
I believe “London Bridge” might be referring to her British heritage and some fine dental work.
I’ll let you make the rest of the connection.
I so agree Michael. I am so friggedy sick of Jessica Simpson and I never need to see anyone lick Andy Dick ever again. I wonder how Papa Joe felt about her deep throating the ice cream cone. Love Fergie Fergs and what ever body part she’s referring to.
Wow! Not only does “A Public Affair” rip off Madonna’s “Holiday” the video steals the whole rollerskating vibe of Madge’s recent video for “Sorry”!
Completely off-topic – MICHAEL! Chris Daughtry is from NORTH Carolina, not South Carolina. http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1217461_4_0_,00.html Sheesh.
Jessica needs to stop copying everyone from Madonna to Debbie (I’m not calling her Deborah, thankyouverymuch) Gibson and do something original, if she can even try.
If Fergie does have British heritage you’d think she’d realise it’s actually Tower Bridge in the video…
Hey Michael, this topic ROCKS!
When I saw Jessica Simpson’s video for the first time, I felt that the actresses she picked didn’t work. It feels too fake, almost like the girls in the office who hate each other yet try to get along. I agree with that phone call comment Eva Langoria made, she doesn’t look natural in this video.
As for Fergie, as she say in her song, “me love you long time”!
I’m really loving the fergie track. That hook is addictive.
true
I can only think of one person sick enough to have put together the cast of women in Jessica Simpson’s new video … her insanely creepy father Joe. Who in my opinion cast the girls he probably wants to watch … oh hell why not … PARTICIPATE with in having sex with his Daughter … 10 to 1 the deepthroating of the ice cream cone was daddy’s idea. I bet he eventually goes completely insane and kills her off so she can become inmortal and no other man can touch her. Who’s with me! (yeah … that’s right … I said it)
I like Fergie’s song and just like the rest of you had been wondering what she meant by London Bridge until I stumbled upon something that gave a pretty good explanation of it. Like Gretchen mentioned I will not go into details but I will say that the subject matter is the same thing that had Kelis bringing all the boys to the yard … LoL
Yawn! I’ll hold out hope for the new Justin Timberlake, thank you.
First of all, those ain’t bobbies. Bobbies are policemen — not the guards (which are military) in the video.
Second of all, Fergie kicks Jessica’s ass. Luv her!
Fergie Ferg blows Jessica out of the water. I am so sick of Jessica being in the news everyday for absolutely nothing. Fergie knows her part and plays it well. She’ll have the more successful single by far.