'Lost Experience': Who is Rachel Blake?

152249__rachel_lThe Lost Experience may be the worst thing that ever happened to Lost. Follow my reasoning here: TV shows need advertising dollars to survive, right? And advertisers buy time on TV shows because they are watched by people who can presumably buy their products, right? So what happens when people like me lose our jobs — and therefore lose the salaries with which we buy those aforementioned products — because we are wasting our employers’ time and Internet access surfing Experience sites looking for updates and emailing tips and theories to each other? That’s right, kids: Those advertisers will stop advertising on Lost because our viewership, however substantial, will be rendered meaningless to them, and therefore Lost will get cancelled. My logic here is unimpeachable! Do not assail it! Lost is doomed! Way to go, Lost Experience creator people. Way to freakin’ go.

All to say: we have more TLE updates for you.

Rachel Blake (pictured) has posted a new vid blog at stophanso.rachelblake.com. As always, if you don’t want to do the searching yourself, visit our friends at thelostexperienceclues.com for directions. It’s a modest update but rasies delicious questions. What does Rachel’s mom have to do with her quest? Who is the mysterious "he" (Alvar Hanso? The leader of The Others?), and why does "he" want to help Rachel? How has this Hanso goon "erased" people? Could these people include the Lost castaways? And will the key Rachel has received unlock the answers to thes questions?

DOC JENSEN ‘TLE’ TIP: The answer to the last question is YES. I also think we should keep our eyes peeled for at least one more communication from Rachel very soon. And then, right after that, [CENSORED BY THE HANSO FOUNDATION].

In other TLE news:

DJ Dan has updated his conspriacytracking website with two new videos — commericals for The HansoFoundation that promote Hanso’s "life extension" and "mathematicalforecasting" initiatives.

DOC JENSEN INSTA-THEORY: It’s the Garden of Eden hypothesis.What does The Bible tell us about what happened after Adam and Eve atethe apple? Death entered the world, and life would become marked byhardship and chaos. Seems to me that these two Hanso initiatives aremeans of finding scientific ways of restoring mankind, and the world,back to its pre-fall condition. "Life extension" is about cheatingdeath; "mathematical forecasting" is about eliminating disorder. If theisland is a mythical wellspring of life — in other words, Eden — thenI wonder if Hanso thought he could fix the world by introducing anantidote into its sin-poisoned waters. In other words: The world is acomputer that’s been compromised by a vrius (original sin); The Numbersis a fix, and it’s being distributed around the world throughelectromagnetic energy. [NOT CENSORED BY THE HANSO FOUNDATION, BECAUSETHAT’S JUST HILARIOUSLY STUPID.]


Comments (15 total) Add your comment
  • LAN

    Nice work Doctor. We appreciate the updates.
    Now, why don’t you tell the pretty folks about Comic Con?

  • FernLaPlante

    I hate being told that in order to properly enjoy and understand a TV show I am required to buy a book, surf hte internet, log onto mysterious websites, search for clues, make my way through countless red herrings and join multiple chat groups just to get an explanation on the plot. How about they INCLUDE these things on the show to begin with.

  • shawn

    you dont have to go with the game to understand the show. Its just a little extra something for us addicted people.

  • Ed

    This blog is takes too much concentration, give us something simple: like more Sex and the City Blogs

  • David from TLEC

    Thanks Doc! Your second Insta-Theory isn’t so bad. Mines a little different…My personal theory is that THF has the Valenzetti Equation which predicts Armageddon. They are preparing to utilize the unique properties of the island to survive the “end of the world as we know it” and rebuild a utopic society birthed on the island. Amongst other things, this would explain why the others are so cult-like in their obsession with the “good ones”.

  • Tom Brazelton

    I normally enjoy all of the extra effort the producers of Lost toss out onto the internet and I love reading Doc Jensen’s recaps and crazy theories.
    But for some reason, I just can’t bring myself to give a damn about The Lost Experience or Rachel Blake.
    I believe the snake has started to consume it’s tail.

  • Thrasher76 from TLEC

    Doc, I am super hyped you are giving our blog shout outs!! And it is cool to see the game getting some main stream PR from a good publication! When will the news channels start doing stories on us addicts????

  • bo

    This is getting SOO very good! I actually enjoy the show more with TLE … although getting a better Rachel Blake would have helped, maybe someone who could act?

  • Phaet

    This theory isn’t “Hilariously stupid” it’s kinda intresting and even may be true. And I like this Lost Experience game. I don’t what’s real now. And that’s the point of it.

  • Bamfer

  • Parkaboy

    I find it plausible that there is a power struggle going on inside the Hanso Foundation. Possibly a struggle in which one subsidiary company wants to either usurrp control or break off on its own and sink the parent organization while doing so. To that end, they might very well employ a patsy such as RB to virally spread the meme that Hanso is evil and should be brought down. Then, at the right time, the subsidiary organization assumes control of the Hanso Group, promising to right the wrongs of the past and steer her toward a morally right path.
    Or some such $#!%.

  • annoying

    can someone tell me, as only a viewer of the Lost tv show, am I going to not know what the hell is going on next season because I haven’t checked out The Lost Experience crap? Or is it just extra knowledge for Lost junkies? Also, Dalton Ross blows.

  • Parkaboy

    potatoe= veggie
    A French fry has been altered so much it’s not a vegetable anymore.[/quote]True, but such genetic engineering of the particulate matter of [i]Frechus Friancus[/i]:[ from the Latin:To Saturate in PolyFat]could very well lead to an ecosystem centered around the ubiquitous transfat and possibly even creatures that are not carbon based but rather based in fat polymers, floating about looking for arterial passages in which they might replicate and spread. As such they would clearly be memes of the highest order preprogrammed with the trenchant behaviors of spreading the Hanso doctrine whilst simultaneously directing host organisms to desire the death of Morgan Spurlock.
    Should they be able to engineer that feat then surely they could engineer humans infected with the viral mutagen to wish the death of Rachel Blake AKA: Jaime. In so doing Jaime’s only response would be subconscious and equally viral, putting ALL Veggie in her post. To further this theory we might consider that we ourselves were mimetically motivated to label her Sissy French-fry after we consumed a quality happy meal and got our Pirates of the Caribbean toy. Obviously a nod to the Lost Black Rock ship an veiled with a knowing wink to Johnny Depp who participated in t the oft-ignored viral marketing piece of M. Night Shamaylan’s SP? The Village.
    In said piece Mr. Depp was customarily smoking a cheroot cigar which of course is another thinly veiled reference to DeGroot and thus makes one suspect that Jack Sparrow is himself not so muddled as he appears but is preceding around a central purpose of getting Keira Knightly to consume the trans after memes because clearly she’s anorexic (though still hot).
    Once Ms. Knightley is infected with the trans fat memes it’s only a matter of time before all the Scarlet Johansson’s and Lindsey Lohan’s are likewise infected leading to the inflation of their willowy frames. Once these young actresses bloat to epic proportions leading Hollywood men will have no reason not to bloat as well as they can now get in their pants without Brad Pitt abs. Hollywood will then become a bloated, trans fat bingeing organism we no longer want to look at.
    Yet the survivors of Flight 815, being trapped on their sup-space island, will remain immune to such memes and therefore continue to look toned, hot, and sexy. It will only be a matter of time before everyone tunes into Lost to view the only remaining ego-busting stereotyped bodies left on television.
    Thus Lost will climb to a Number Greater than One, the Nielsen’s will bow before it and Paul Walker and Jessica Alba will be off Into the Blue Two resembling less the sex effusing agro’s that they were and more resembling a manatee couple luxuriously lapping at each others fatty folds whilst mating on big screens across the USA, played to empty theaters, unoccupied seats… as the rest of us tune into Lost dreaming of the days when everyone looked as edible as Jack and Kate.
    Thus Lost conquers the world!!!

  • atie Jane

    Rachel Blake made a “guest apperance” at the LOST panel at the Comic Con! she started screaming at the panelists about HANSO and security guards hauled her away.

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