So the American Idol season 5 tour came to town last night (the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, N.J., to be specific), and you know I wasn’t about to miss it, even if I had to fly solo. Not that a guy could ever really feel alone surrounded by thousands of fellow Idol addicts. Especially when they’re shrieking en masse. Here’s the highlight reel (and bear in mind, I’m not ignoring Katharine McPhee — she’s been sidelined by laryngitis since the tour kicked off July 5):
Most likely to succeed: Based on audience feedback, fourth-place finisher Chris Daughtry may be poised for the biggest post-Idol career. It doesn’t hurt that the guy is sex on a stick — parents should probably to cover the wee ones’ ears and eyes during his cover of Led Zeppelin’s "Whole Lotta Love" — but he’s also the most polished, confident performer of the bunch. His "Wanted Dead or Alive" was a tasty slice of arena rock, and his duet with Elliott Yamin on Nickelback’s "Savin’ Me" was the night’s best (and I’m not even a fan of the original). My only question/complaint: Why no "Hemorrage (In My Hands)"? Could Fuel, smarting from the fact that Chris turned down their offer to be their new lead singer, have responded with a haughty "Deeee-nied!"? Inquiring minds want to know.
Most embarrassing: Ace Young will never advance beyond cheesy Idol also-ran status, if only for his painfully literal on-stage gestures. Like tracing a tear down his face on two separate occasions — singing the words "cried" on "Father Figure" and "cries" on Maroon 5’s "Harder to Breathe." And tapping his head meaningfully on the word "mind." And, during the aforementioned George Michael number, unbuttoning his jacket on the first mention of the words "warm and naked," then removing it entirely on the second. (Insert audible gagging sound here.) As for his habit of tossing beanies into the crowd: Dude, save your money!
Most surprising: Tenth-place finisher Lisa Tucker, a singer I never once enjoyed during her season 5 performances, had the night’s strongest showing among the women, sitting down at the piano to offer a restrained, heartfelt rendition of Elton John’s "Your Song" — with no accompaniment from the band. Who knew?
Most disappointing: Since her grandma Ann Nesby is apparentlyunwilling to say it, I’ll deliver a much needed newsflash to ParisBennett: "Young lady, you are not, nor will you ever be, the nextBeyoncé Knowles." Seriously, Paris’ hoochielicious shenanigans on"Crazy in Love" provided too much awkward wiggle, and almost no vocalsizzle. (As for the barely competent dance breakdown, Janet Jacksonjust called from 1985, and she’d like the wooden chair and fedorareturned at once.) I kept hoping Princess P would break out with thekind of jazz standard that best showcases her talents, but the kid’sgot other, ill-advised ideas.
Most shameless attempt for tabloid attention: Mandisa,sullying an otherwise potent "If I Was Your Woman" by using it to stalkIdol’s season 2 champ Ruben Studdard. Sample lyric: ”R-U-B-E-N/ Iwanna be your woman." Girl, maybe it’s time to try Match.com. Justsayin’.
Most in need of a good life coach: After hearing his awesomeone-two-three punch of "Moody’s Mood for Love," "Never Too Much," and"Trouble," who could deny that Elliott Yamin is the best singer on theentire Idol tour? Er, probably Elliott. Even after winning overmillions of fans en route to a third-place finish, the guy still looksvaguely skittish at center stage. It might help if he traded a solocareer for fronting a smooth jazz-R&B band — packed with playerswho could convince him just what a nuanced, mellifluous singer hereally is.
Most sincere: Believe it or not, queen of shtick KelliePickler sounded downright genuine thanking her fans for giving her achance at fulfilling her dreams. Let’s just hope said dreams haveshifted from singing to TV hosting.
Most puzzling: No doubt, Taylor Hicks has a fine voice. Andno doubt, he’s going to sell boatloads of records. (Hatas take note:The 40-year-old mom in the seat next to me screamed way harder forTaylor than her preteen daughter did for her favorites, Chris andAce). Still, this year’s champ offered up a set that was just slightlyunderwhelming. Perhaps he’s a little burned out from taking the lion’sshare of tour publicity, but after opening strong on "Jailhouse Rock"and Bob Seeger’s "Hollywood Nights," he seemed oddly detached on "SweetSoul Music" and "Don’t Let Me Down." And one final note: "What’s Goin’On" is not a light party jam.
Power of Suggestion alert (Part 1): Ace, struggling for air on the aforementioned quick-paced rocker, "Harder to Breathe."
Power of Suggestion alert (Part 2): The audience going to a happy placeduring Bucky Covington’s "Drift Away." Then again, I can’t say forcertain, as I was mentally compiling my grocery list by the end of thefirst verse.
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Is Chicken Little not on this tour?
Michael thanks for the Elliott love. Love your review and I agree with what you had to say about Chris and his success. I just thought I would remind you that Chris is a seasoned performer who fronted his own rock band for a few years. In contrast Elliott’s only real performing experience has been AI and some Karaoke back in VA. I think that Elliott will hone his performance skills on this tour. Will he ever be a rock god like Chris? No. But I think that he has a future as an artist that will be able to entertain in a more intimate setting. And I for one look forward to that concert.
Elliott’s skittishness(is that a word?), is one of the reasons we LOVE him so much, it’s part of his charm. He is so real, genuine and aw-shucks–he still can’t believe what is happening to him. Well Elliott, we can!
I can’t wait to see him (I’ll tolerate the rest of the show) in Denver. He turns me into a cross between a squealing teenager and a proud Mama!
great one question though waht other songs did Mandiva sing??? and was she great as usual?
Uhg, I hate Ace…he is SO ugly and he can’t sing….give it up Ace, you SUCK. Same to you Chris..with your constant screaming, and trying to make every song into a rock song…leave it alone already.
Oh come on, your review is so biased! You didn’t even hide your Chris fangirliness. I thought he was good, but Taylor was one of the biggest highlights of the show. And saying Chris is the most likely to succeed? I’m sure he will have some success, but have you seen Taylor’s single sales numbers? 457,000 copies and climbing! Even though critics, including yourself, have never got him he still had a #1 hit single and sold that many. Go figure.
I just don’t understand the Chris Daughtry love-fest that reviewers have going on. Do you people listen to the radio? There are already people on the radio who sound EXACTLY like him! When will we hear Chris Daughtry? And as for the sex on a stick comment – well short and bald may do it for you, but not me! What’s the matter – afraid to disagree with big, bad Simon?
Lisa Tucker: I knew!!! She was my favorite from her audtion to her elimination —
I don’t get the Chris love fest either. I mean he did go home before Elliott, Kat and Taylor for a reason. The man does not have an original bone in his body. Not to mention, he wears a wallet chain, tattooed his last name on his back, is bald and is like 5′6″…YUCK!
Oh yeah, if I want to hear Chris I will just tune into my local rock station. Elliott and Taylor are where it is at, IMO!
Umm..the Idols tour stinks..I saw Kelly Clarkson at Jones beach and she completely rocked the house. Her new songs are like..whoa, those are awesome good, and I LOVE HER!!
A little bird gave me this lowdown: Ace’s beanies carry a boat-load of cooties. Bring gloves and disinfectants if you want to bring one home as a souvenir.
Re: Taylor. I can’t believe he won. One of 3 possibilities come to mind:
1) I’m being punked big time
2) I fell into the Twilight Zone and will see Big Foot out my airplane window on my next flight
3) Me am in Bizarro world
Kat’s recouperating from larygitis by going to photoshoots and bronchial infection by make out sessions in pool by doctor’s orders.
You have always been a Chris fan, so no surprise that you would gush over him. Chris has always sounded the most polished. I thought he was always a little too polished, like Latoya and Tamyra. That’s why he didn’t win. And after awhile everything he sings starts to sound the same. Maybe that’s why I liked Taylor on the show, even though no critics ever do. Maybe that’s why I like him on tour too. Taylor is fun and interesting. And from the screaming going on in the arena, I would have to say everyone else thought so too.
Okay, you might not like Ace’s gestures, but his fans find his cheesiness endearing. And were you deaf to the screams he elicits when he does that stuff? Obviously someone is enjoying it even if you’re not, Slezak.
Elliott IS the best voice on the tour! And, he will no sooner give up a solo career than you swerving from an obviously Chris-centric overall view of the AI world.
I thought Ellliott and Taylor were the best. The reason that Chris got voted off on the show is the same reason I don’t like him on the idol concert. He sounds the same for each song. You call that polished. I call that boring.
As an Ace fan i’m kinda upset about this. his gestures are not “chessy” he is showing emotion in the song. you never to give this guy credit. oh well…you can’t please everyone.Ace will be very successful we(Highrollers) will make sure of it.
Have a nice day.
Oh my god, Chris referred to as “sex on a stick” I LOVE IT! I’m still waiting for that Calvin Klien deal where he becomes the next underwear model.
Yet another biased review! Ace’s vocals are smooth, he’s charismatic and engages the audiences with his performance. Do you feel so threatened by him that you cannot write a positive comment? Ace, keep those beanies flying!
Michael, dude… what’s your beef with Ace? He’s up on stage doing his thing, rocking the crowd out night after night, having the time of his life and by the increasingly deafening cheers resonating off the hard seating at the venues so far, I’d say he’s gonna have a kick ass career in music! So, you don’t like his gestures… maybe he should stare at the floor for the entire song, would that make you happy? I think you’ll always find something to diss about Ace. You just seem THE TYPE and that’s ok, I don’t think Ace was singing for your personal pleasure. Just lay off the hate DUDE, it’s not a good look for ya!
Keep throwin’ those beanies Ace!
Can we get a more objective review next time and one not so blatantly biased. Ace Young cheesy? Why because he feels the emotion of the song he is singing and conveys it? I have seen very few bad things said about Ace and his performances at this concert. Normally when I see something negative written, it’s by someone with an agenda, and yours is obvious.
Whatever happened to objective journalism. You’re a “columnist” not an “opinionist”.
What happens in the print magazine? Will the music critic review the concert and say that pop sucks and everyone except Chris should quit?
I like Elliott a lot. Glad to read that he’s doing well (sort of).
Yeah, I saw Kelly Clarkson last week as well and it was by far the BEST concert I have been to all summer long. These new Idols will never be anywhere close to Kelly in the talent department. She knows how to put on a show. Everyone knows it. All the rest pale in comparison. The original will always be #1.
Just supporting Slezak on Ace–Drawing a line down your cheek on the word “cry” is not showing emotion; it’s pantomime. I completely agree with Slezak here about that sort of gesturing during songs. “I see” and the singer points to the eye; “my heart” and the singer puts hand on heart–terrible. It’s “acting,” not sincere performance.
A bit tough about the beanies though–apparently the girls like their Ace stuff.
Most In Need Of A Blindfold -Michael Slezak. Maybe that way you could get over the endearing little gestures Ace does and actually pay attention to what matters MOST ~ the singing.
Chris…sex on a stick?? Yeah maybe a short stick. The dude is a tool…anyone who tattoos their own name on their back is a fool. Chris is boring, boring, boring! BOOO to your review.
I will buy Elliott, Taylor and even Kat’s album. You couldn’t give me Chris’ for free. If I want to hear Chris….I will just put in my LIVE, FUEL or Nickelback CD…and even those are very rarely listened to on my Ipod. Michael Slezak, I know you have liked Chris all season, but I think you need to stop drinking the kool-aid…it is making you crazy.
I have been to the tour….Ace was not that cheesy. Yes, the Elliott and Chris duet was awesome, but it was obvious Elliott had the better voice.
And Taylor, well I don’t care how much I didn’t like him on the show….I have changed my mind…this guy is AWESOME…so full of life and passion for music…I am sorry you can’t ignore it. I would pay to see Taylor in concert because I know I will not only hear an amazing voice, but I will be entertained also. Chris would bore the hell out of me, or make my ears bleed..not sure which one would happen first.
About the gestures… Elliot did it a lot during AI and nobody said anything. Nothing against Elliot, I love him, just shows some people are not willing to give ACe a break.
By the way people, look at the headline of the article. It says, “Reviewing the ‘American Idol’ Tour.” Slezak is doing exactly what the headline says. He is REVIEWING the tour the way HE saw it. Stop hating on him when he is just doing his job.
Chris, sex on a stick? LOL, How long has it been?
You were correct about Elliott though, best voice on the tour, by far.
JL – Yeah except for the fact this guy is so biased, why even go to the tour? He has been up Chris’ butt since the show started.
Who really thinks Chris is sex on stick??? The man does not even know how to move his body..he gives us this blank stare while he is inhaling the microphone…he has no orginality and very little personality on stage. It gets boring. If Chris had 8 songs like Taylor it wouldn’t even be tolerable. He sounds the same on everything he sings. To me, this dude is a total snore on stage and I am sure even more of a bore in bed.
Yes, i understand that Slezak was doing a “review”. And in turn I am posting a comment on his review… his opinion followed by our opinions. Call me crazy, but I think that’s how the process goes.