Nope, I’m not a fan of Jessica Simpson’s — especially the way her new single "A Public Affair" totally rips off Madonna’s "Holiday" (click here for the damning evidence) — but does that mean I won’t write her a birthday haiku? Or urge you to do the same? Come now, what kind of heartless blog-beast do you take me for?
No ‘Boots’ for you, but
If you took a holiday
It would be so nice
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Jessica, it’s your birthday
go away
and come back when you have something to day
say
Poor, poor Jessica
Why wouldn’t Dallas cast you?
J. Lo needs her space.
You’re blonde or brunette?
Your hair color means nothing
Your cleavage is all
Happy birthday Jessica.
Hopefully your daddy will buy you a brain this year!
Wouldn’t it be fun
If this kind of attention
Was given to war?
What should I buy Jess
for a gift? She already
Has a bobblehead.
Jessica is just sooooo fake. she use to be kinda funny, and cute, but now she just gets on my nerves
Proactiv Girl
Divorced in your 20’s
Your boots did the acting in Dukes
Hazzard sucked more than George Bush
Jessica, Don’t sing, don’t act. We all just want to see you nude. End of story.
Boobs that are so big
Brain that is small, oh no
Here come PaPa Joe
Your music is bad
Your sisters is even worse
You both really suck
You blew it with Nick
You think tuna is chicken
Time to call it quits
Twenty six years old
And we’ve known you for seven
Only thought fifteen
Now that you’re single
give a call you cutey, I
dig Daisy’s booty
Jessica is Fine
Her curves blow my meager mind
I love her BEHIND
Happy Birthday You Beautiful Lady!
I think this was only posted to link to that Holiday mashup thing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!!
And that’s a “true” birthday wish, not some excuse to post lame website link. Jeez, when did EW.com become the new Perezhilton.com???
Anyway, regarding the song “A Public Affair”, I think Jessica meant to be inspired by Madonna’s “Holiday”, it’s a way to pay homage to old school pop music. Today’s pop music wants to add a piece of every other genre, it’s nice that Jessica keeps it simple and straight to the point. Even Madonna herself said, “We’re all plagiarizing!”
http://www.perezhilton.com/topics/quote_of_the_day/quote_of_the_day_20060708.php
Dear Killjoy Karla
Why would we want to write a
Haiku about war?
Cheated on your man
Recycled, crappy single
Won’t you go away?
Jessica your new song sounds like Barbie and the Rockers (mid 80’s). Remember when you used to sing and not through your nose? But happy birthday.
Please pose nude
Please pose naked
Please pose in your birthday suit
You’re like a bad penny, you just keep popping up, you need to go away….FOR GOOD…you CAN’t sing, you CAN’T act, you give a whole new meaning to DUMB BLONDE.
Slezak, that’s your best haiku ever!!
Gross Geno – speak for yourself – SHE is the LAST person I want to see nude. Besides, don’t centerfolds already have a hard enough time proving that they have brains without this dolt taking it off and adding fuel to the fire? Do us a favor Jess – take a b-day cruise around the world and NEVER come back. Oh, and take your dad and sis with you.
Oh man, my brain!
Please check your haiku format!
It’s 5, 7, 5!
Crap, I got it wrong.
That’s pretty embarrasing.
Still: 5, 7, 5!!
smile/vamp all you want
time ticks away your career
Hollywood Squares looms
You’re dad is a perv
I think he wants to bone you
He is a sicko
Stole From Madonna
Newlywed Fame is long gone
Take your boots and go
Happy Birthday Jessica! A public affair is a great song!