Thor, Thor, Thor! How do you like it? How do you like it?
The rumor that David Goyer (Batman Begins, Blade: Trinity) is scripting a movie based on Marvel’s Thor is just that, a rumor. But that won’t stop us from looking a gift Norse in the mouth and casting the hell out of this as-yet-theoretical feature.
Who to play a god turned man turned part-time god? Well, it ought to be someone divinely appurtenanced in physique, yet battle-hardened. He should be comfortable wielding thunder, lightning, and Mjollnir, the mighty hammer of the gods.
That narrows us down to a precious few candidates: Triple H, Djimon Honsou in a blonde wig, and, of course, Thor himself, who, according to his tour schedule, will be in Hollywood on July 31 — just in time to audition.
Now I know some of you are going to nominate Brad Pitt. All due respect, we’ve seen him play god (or demigod). It’s a little too easy. Plus, Thor ought to be a little dented, a little dinged-up, I think. He ought to have a little of what his official site calls "Devastation of Musculation." Don’t try to comprehend the meaning: It’s Norse, man. It’s beyond mortals like us.
In all seriousness, this could go really, really badly, right? Given the potential for goofiness here, how would you proceed? Who would you cast? And most important, how big would you make his hammer? (As I understand it, the myths — as opposed to the comic — have the hammer about the size of a gavel or smaller. Something tells me neither Marvel nor Hollywood is not going to settle for that.)
Cast away, armchair execs. And happy Thorth of Thorly!
And exactly how did you know that I was going to nominate Brad Pitt?
Who can forget the buff and oiled up (and blonde!) Vincent Phillip D’Onofrio playing Thor in Adventures in Babysitting?
Until y’all can think up someone who can get anywhere near that performance, I’m not playing this newfangled Thor game. No. Not. Playing.
LOL!! YESSS!!! You beat me to it, Karla!
How about that guy who played that guy in Lord of the Rings? No, not that guy, the other one. No, the other one, with the daddy issues. Yeah, him. He’d be good. Or maybe it’s just the hair.
Gerard Butler! Best known for playing the Phantom in the Phantom of the Opera, but have you seen pics of him from “300″? He plays a king in that one. But he’s buff. He’d be good as a god!
It’s obvious. Emo Philips.
Chris Carmack, from “Related”, who always struck me as looking rather Thor-like. Young enough, cut, accessible, good at the brooding tough-guy thing. And if someone reads this and hires him, I want a frickin’ commission.
After seeing/hearing Brad Pitt in Troy, I would sooner have Kevin Costner (for whom I believe we should impose a restraining order barring him from taking parts with accents) as Thor than Pitt.
This movie is already starting to smell like bad herring, so why not dig up the ultimate worse for wear Scandanavian wonder–Dolph Lundgren? Brian Bosworth? Hulk Hogan? It will really guarantee it that retro 80s cheese factor a la the Conans and Sonja.
Maybe I’m wrong, but wasn’t Thor bigger than an average man? How could Brad Pitt pull that off? You gotta find a wrestler who’s been on steroids all his life. Triple H or any other Blond should do. Besides they are great actors, that’s all they do in the ring. ACT!
How ’bout Anthony Michael (roid rage) Hall?
AMEN Karla!!! If not him I can get with newbies selections, other than the Hulkster. He’s all over too much now anyway.
While I think the guy who played Eomer from the Lord of the Rings might be perfect, how bout Owen Wilson?? It could be a comedic Thor!
Thank you Karla for letting me kow I wasn’t the only one whose first thought upon reading this was of Vincent D’Onofrio. Good God he was hot in that movie!
I’m not sure who I’d cast as Thor, but I’d definitely recommend Peter Jackson to direct.