Pink is the new blog. Britney is the new brunette. And businesspeople are the new evil. Sorry, Wall Street types, don’t blame me for starting your day with such mojo-crushing news, but rather point a finger at all the Hollywood types who’ve been painting you as kidnappers and murderers in recent months.
According to a study by the Media Research Center that examined 129 episodes of 12 major network shows during the May and November sweeps of 2005, corporate folks were 21 times more likely to commit a kidnapping or murder than mobsters, five times more likely than terrorists, and four times more likely than gang members. And if that’s not enough of a black eye for the business community, Kevin Spacey — one of a growing roster of Oscar winners who aren’t ashamed of a comic book adaptation (and why should they be?) — says he based his Superman Returns‘ villain, Lex Luthor, on Enron’s Kenneth Lay.
That said, all you fiscal VPs, company execs, and shop owners, take heart: As in life, all things in Hollywood are cyclical. So let’s begin your public-image rehab by helping crime-procedural writers unearth the next hot surrogates to carry out their fictitious homicidal fantasies. I’ll start the ball rolling: Theme-park performers? Pre-school teachers? Wait! I’ve got it! Kittens! Yes, kittens are the new evil. Remember, you heard it here first.
Television Tidbits: Futurama and Sally Field Return
The FOX animated comedy Futurama is being reborn at cable network Comedy Central.
CBS is sending newly acquired Evening News anchor Katie Couric on a tour around the country to find out what people want to see on the news.
Theres…
Over the last decade or so, a certain percentage of big business is evil. As we speak, oil company execs are making billions off the artificially high price of gas. They can be evil in the movies for a while longer.
Wow, what a surprise. Lefties in Hollywood are portraying capitalists and big business as eeeeeevil. Can’t imagine.
Mike, if you want to talk about artificially inflating the price of gas, maybe the 30% you pay in taxes (on a national average) might be the best place to look first.
I just re-read Slezak’s start-off for this, and I missed pre-school teachers (I was gonna go with kindergarten, but his is just as good). Therefore, I’m going to go with dog-walkers. That’s right: dog-walkers are the new eeeeevil. With their multiple leashes, and their treats… I tell you, they want to rule the world!
The new Fountainhead film –starring: Angelina Jolie — should set things aright. Only, one cannot imagine Henry Roark adopting an African baby. Too altruistic.
Oy vey. Look. Our economy is screwed up as it is. Without oil and gas, not only won’t our cars not run but our economy would have an even bigger hole than the one in George juniors head. Think about it. And to me the only person who is evil is NYC’s Mayor Bloomberg for threatening to cut the Brooklyn Public Libraries budget. It’s an educational institution not cultural. Plus, we librarians get paid less than a public teacher, finish thier work and yet we put in more hours. Hey! If you don’t want the 45-65 K, then give it to me.
“Lefties in Hollywood”? Get over yourselves people, and stop making everything so political. Why are businessmen portrayed as bad guys so much? 1) There are simply more of them. Take the ‘Law & Order’ franchise… how realistic would it be to have only gangsters committing crimes on all these shows? 2) They are easy to write. You don’t have to have an intricate knowledge of medicine or law or graphic design, because business is so broad and some of its concepts universal. 3) Writers, when struggling with stories (which would probably happen to you too if you kept writing procedural after procedural), look to the news. If there hadn’t been real-life businesspeople on trial or involved with scandals, there would have been less businesspeople portrayed as such on these shows.
And I think Mike has a point. How is it that an oil company posted their biggest profit ever earlier this year? In these tough economic times, shouldn’t they be taking a hit? (Also, a note to Congress: RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE)
Oops, broke my own rule of not making everything political… still, can we at least not resort to bashing one side or the other and remain respectful as we make our points?
I knew kittens were evil… ewww, kittens…
Kevin Spacey didn’t go to 8 years of evil medical school to be called Mister Evil, now did he?
Bozell’s Media Research Center thinks everything from Pleasantville to Letterman’s Top 10 List is a liberal conspiracy!!! If they had it their way, every bad guy would be just like True Lies and every home would be like Father Know’s Best. I have nothing against these 2 things; I’d just like some other realities thrown in too.
I thought bloggers were the new evil? I mean Micheal, that’s what you told me from your secret lair that is hidden behind the filling cabinets in PopWatch HQ. You just pull out that old copy of Brecht and suddenly you are in a V for Vendetta type stronghold where the jukebox spins Xtina and you shave Natalie Portmans head. I could of sworn you were the new evil.
lol, Sal.
Ha, speaking of eeeeeevillll kittens… http://www.sluggy.com/daily.php?date=000701&mode=weekly
(Webcomic I read daily. This particular link is to a scary movie parody in which the bad guys are… Satanic Kittens. Really. It’s great!)
Well, who else are they going to use? It’s not like there’s a Buisnessman Anti-Defamation League. In fact, I think they may be the only group left that doesn’t have one.
Definitely, critics are evil, be they music, television, or movie. We can all agree to loathe them, lol. Hopefully a critic will be the lead villain in the next Spider Man; we will all be cheering when Spidey takes him..or her..down.