Uwe Boll, widely touted as the world’s worst director, wants you to hit him in the face. Will you take him up on it?
All connoisseurs of crap are familiar with the ewwy oeuvre of Uwe: House of the Dead. Alone in the Dark. Bloodrayne. All based on second-tier video games whose licenses Boll somehow got ahold of. The upcoming In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, hotly anticipated by crapsthetes the world over. (This latest entry in the Boll roll promises to answer the longstanding question: What if I remade Lord of the Rings in my backyard with $6 and Ray Liotta?)
Uwe’s tired of comments like that. So tired of them, in fact, that he’s challenging his critics to a duel. Like the Bond villain he aspires to be, he’ll fly them to his base of operations in Vancouver, treat them to a hotel stay, and then go 10 rounds with them as cameras roll. The footage will be used in Postal, his latest crime against celluloid.
I’d take him up on it, but the rules stipulate a similar weightclass, and Boll’s got a serious advantage on my puny frame. So the cry goes out for a champion: Who will fight Uwe in my place?
However the bout turns out, I can guarantee this much: Boxing with Uwe has to be less awkward than eating an ironic dinner with him.
Dear Lord that smacks of arrogance and license to offend. I’m not familiar with Boll’s stuff, but I can see why. What is Burt Reynolds doing in a medieval pic playing a King? This looks bad all around. All we can hope for is the previews being bad enough to send this straight to DVD. And yet I’m sure it will open in 3000 theaters. Not in my neighborhood.
He looks like a puffy Wahlberg!
Whether he agrees with it or not, this guy’s becoming the Ed Wood of his generation. The difference is, having existed before the era of message boards and instant information, Ed Wood never lived to see his own notoriety!
I’d take him up on it. But when i win i’ll also f**k his a**. Is that ok? I have a feeling he’ll like it more than people loved his films.
Hey, in the movie of the dinner, they do exactly what I do! Pour Mountain Dew in red wine for a great, cheap homemade sangria.
Actually, he DOES look like a puffy Mark Wahlberg. I would definitely pay for someone, anyone, to punch out the King of Crap. If he’s tired of nasty comments, then he should get a friggin’ clue and stop making films altogether.
I got a feeling dude’s got some serious trainers and he’s thinking he is going to wup on some people. That is why I have signed up to be one of the many Uwe Haters who will fight for the chance to fight against Uwe Bol, Enter the Dragon style!
I guarantee that Russell Crowe has already booked a room.
Directors
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