Are you addicted to videogames? We're here to help

As always, today’s bad habit is tomorrow’s addiction: A videogame detox center has been opened in Amsterdam.

Big joke, right? That’s what I thought when I saw the headline. But you know what? I sympathize. I’m 30, and I’ve never owned a game console. Why? Because I know my weaknesses, and I know I’d never, ever get anything done. I remember the rush I felt playing Contra at a friend’s house in the mid-’80s. Endorphins, baby: the most dangerous high of all. You put me in a room with Halo, I don’t think you’d ever see me again. And let’s not even get started with the online stuff: I’d be nothing but a shuffling half-a-Leeroy Jenkins, existing in the twilight between this world and some neverending elfquest.

So bravo, videogame detox pioneers. I have only one question for you: Why open any kind of detox center in or near Amsterdam? Seems like the temptation to go from Worlds of Warcraft to wads of wackyweed might be, I dunno, a little strong. But I hear they teach you a little mantra to ward off such urges: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start. (Twas the great guru "Konami" who came up with that.)


Comments (3 total) Add your comment
  • t3hdow

    HAHAHA OMG are you kidding me? Man, gaming addiction finally peaked and reached a truly sad state. I shouldn’t be surprised though after Shawn Woolley’s reported death a few years ago (i.e. an Everquest gamer that committed suicide) among other gaming related addiction cases that ended in tragedy.
    I’ve been a gamer as long as I remember (I’m almost 20 years old), but even I don’t play videogames to the point of insanity. I’ve been in some long gaming binges (like 12 hours a day), but they rarely last more than a few days. It’s one reason why I avoided playing any kind of MMORPG (I lack the free time and hardcore dedication required). It’s funny…my parents always thought I was a total addict, but even I can’t compare to these poor saps in the article. Sweating/shaking whenever they see a gaming console? Speech problems from lack of human contact? Oh man…thanks Scott. I needed a good laugh.

  • Victoire

    One word: HALO. I’m with you Scott. I knew the first and only time I played that I would be doomed (no pun intended) If I ever bought a gaming system.

  • Laurie

    Oh, you bet, Scott–I can’t get into gaming or the rest of my life will be moot. However, my kids know that when I retire, the first thing I want is an xbox (or whatever is the biggest, bestest gaming technology out there).

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