Surfing the net this morning to find the best of the (almost uniformly negative) review headlines for the new Vince Vaughn-Jennifer Aniston vehicle The Break-Up, I found myself getting distracted by the brutal reviews themselves. Some of critics’ barbs were so scathing, in fact, that I couldn’t keep them to myself. Read on:
The San Francisco Chronicle’s Mike LaSalle: ”Imagine watching Bergman’s Scenes From a Marriage, except without good scenes, without a marriage (legal or spiritual) and without people worthy of anybody’s attention, even each other’s. Now imagine something even worse.”
The Indianapolis Star’s Christopher Lloyd: ”Watching The Break-Up is like riding in a car when the driver’s asleep at the wheel, and you’re slowly drifting off the straightaway and into the brambles. You can see what’s wrong, but you’re powerless to do anything but tighten your seat belt, grit your teeth and hope the driver wakes up in time.”
The New York Post’s Lou Lumenick: ”The must-miss The Break-Up arrives more or less simultaneously with the child of Brangelina. Will Jennifer Aniston’s humiliations never end?”
The A.V. Club’s Keith Phipps: ”It’s like watching the ‘we were on a break’ episode of Friends stretched to feature length, and without the blessed relief of commercial breaks or the promise of Seinfeld around the corner."
L.A. Weekly’s Joe Donnelly: ”Think The War of the Roses lite — sans the emotional investment of watching a real partnership disintegrate into hell. Speaking of hell, Ann-Margret as Brooke’s mother, Judy Davis as her gallerist boss and Vincent D’Onofrio as Gary’s brother all look like they stepped into the seventh layer during their wasted cameos. I hope Ann-Margret works again; I don’t want to remember her this way.”
The Boston Globe’s Ty Burr: ”As for Aniston, she’s as likable as ever, but her dramatic range has never looked narrower, and if there’s any heat to her real-life relationship with Vaughn, it evaporated before it reached the camera. Can Aniston play anything but Rachel 2.0? Does she even want to? That trapped look in Brooke’s eye isn’t a character in a bind; it’s an actress in a rut.”
All I can say is uff-da! After countless months of are-they-or-aren’t-they speculation about the off-screen relationship between the film’s stars, I was kind of excited to check out their on-screen chemistry, but this critical savaging has me wondering if The Break-Up is doomed to the same fate as other star-couple bombs like Vanilla Sky and Proof of Life. Whatever the film’s fate, though, at least Vaughn can take comfort in a new site, Do You Speak Vince Vaughnese?, that compiles the best of his film quotes. Come to think of it: This might be a funnier (and cheaper) alternative to his latest movie offering.
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these guys have as much chemistry as a cowboy and a vegan meal.jen,bless her heart is BORIIIIING she needs to to change it up coz she deserves it
Why cant she ever be successful lol? Its so sad, almost every movie that she in sucks. Except for Bruce Almighty, and that was only because Jim Carey was in the movie.. LOL I so desperately wanted this film to do good, for the simple fact that she deserves some hits.
I have never gotten the deal over her. I wanted the movie to be good because I love Vince Vaughn, but I just can’t bring myself to see him in a bad Friends episode. Phoebe was always my favorite anyway.
Unfair with the Vanilla Sky dig. I really enjoyed that movie!
I don’t get Vince Vaughan at all. I don’t think he is the least bit attractive. None of his quotes on that quote page are actually funny or memorable. He just looks like a big, sweaty, homely guy who talks too fast. Jennifer Anniston is a one-note tv actress who is not being careful about the scripts she picks. “The Good Girl” was good, and that’s it.
Lou Lumenick’s jab at Aniston’s personal life is priceless. I don’t mean to sound cruel (really, I don’t), but she never stood a chance against Brangelina.
I’m tired of Jennifer. There, I’ve said it!!!
I find it interesting that all of these reviews were written by men. I want to know what a woman thinks! Movie critics take themselves way too seriously…
Jennifer Aniston is too made-for-TV. Seeing her on the upcoming starlets cover of Vanity Fair several years ago angered me. Being on a high-rated sitcom or being married to someone who is way out of your league does not qualify you as talented or in demand. Her strength is TV; she should just go back to television. Perhaps Brad knew this way before the viewing public, know what I mean?
I hear she’s making her next movie with Tom Cruise and Ben Affleck.
I think Mariane has put it best so far. Vince Vaughn mistakes rapid speaking for comedy. His “clever” ad-libs are just obnoxious. I used to like him but now find him overrated. As for Jen, I don’t really mind her, but I can’t help but feel a little happy when someone from ‘friends’ fails. The only reason I planned on seeing this was for Joey Lauren Adams. She is an actress that deserves to be a movie star.
With Tom Cruise and Aff-LECK! huh. A trio of “actors” who seem to play the same characters over and over and over again.
Hey Slezak, it’s San Francisco not Fransisco.
Critics stink. They told me Steve Martin was no Peter Sellers in the new “Pink Panther.” True, he wasn’t, Steve Martin was much funnier than Peter Sellers.
Critics have hated Vince Vaughn since Swingers. Why? Because he doesn’t fit their studio polled audience standards. He speaks off the cuff, and improvises many of his lines, like stream of consciousness.
Critics told me The Family Stone and Brokeback Mountain were brilliant. The Family Stone was so terribly unfunny, I started laughing at the cheesiness of the lines. Brokeback Mountain was simply put, the most boring film I’ve ever seen.
Its sad that Aniston, gets another chance in Hollywood.
While really good actresses are pushed to the outer
fringes of work(Emily Watson,Gretchen Mol,Frances McDormand the list could go on).
Doesn’t Hollywood get it.”Derailed”, “Along Come Polly”, “Rumour Has It”. She is a one note horn.
A Tv star is not a Hollywood star.
At Least Jerry knew that !!
So…they didn’t like it?
She should have gotten pregnant so that Brad Pitt would have at least stayed with her for another year or so.
Anyways, as much as I liked her on Friends, Jen is no movie star. She doesn’t have that movie star quality, not to mention, she’s not that good of an actress. Hate to say that about her, but it’s the truth.
The critics have not been too unkind to Vaughn in the acting department. He has an affable presence that has not worn thin the way Aniston’s has.
But I take exemption to one thing: it was bad, but at over $100 million, ‘Vanilla Sky’ was no bomb!
This is one woman that thinks that Jen, as a movie star, is just plain bland. Every movie she’s been in, whether it’s in indies (The Good Girl, Friends With Money, She’s The One) or mainstream films (Bruce Almighty, Along Came Polly, Rumor Has It, Derailed, even Leprachaun), she comes across as bland and boring. Plain and simple.
I think the real question is whether the car that Christopher Lloyd was referring to is a DeLorean and if it got to 88 mph.
FOR MS. ANISTON, ALL HER MOVIES OPENED IN THE TOP 10 OF THE BOX OFFICE, SO WHY IS THE RUSH IN JUDGING HER ACTING CAPACITY? WE STILL R WATCHING HER MOVIES, RIGHT? SO PLS TRY NOT TO RUSH TO CONCLUSIONS JUST BECAUSE OF BRAD AND ANGELINA ADN SHILOH AND MADDOX AND ZAHARA… GOD THEY R TAKING TOO MUCH FROM MS. ANISTON!!!
Projection much? Her ex-husband and his fabulous baby mama have barely been mentioned here. She does have a decent fan base, but that does not make her a great actress or her movies any good. And rush? Hello, she’s been in the spotlight for how long? No rush, lots of time to see her 1 character. I hope she can grow, but when will it happen if it hasn’t already?
I’m curious as to why Hollywood is trying to shove Jennifer Aniston down our throats. Each interviewer describes her as a movie star and I can’t figure out why. Yes, she acts in movies but that doesn’t automatically make her a “Star”. She is where she is today because of a haircut and because she was once Brad Pitt’s wife not because of any extraordinary talent.
As to Vince, I like him but lately he’s played the same fast talking, regular guy just in different movies. He needs to change things up a bit before he too becomes typecast.
I agree with Holly. Jennifer Anniston is over hyped and overexposed. How many times can Hollywood give her a chance after all of her bombs? Bruce Almighty was only successful due to Jim Carrey starring in it. I have no desire to see this movie because it looks like a long episode of friends on the big screen with her acting out the same character. and please stop putting her face on the cover of every magazine at the grocery store.
if anyone does not want to see jen movies, they can just skip it. i see her movies because as an actress, i like her. i love her acting, period. i do not know how some people sort of run to judge her EVEN BEFORE the film has come out. and everybody tried, tried, tried… that is how everybody becomes a star. i think jen aniston should be given a chance and appreciated. we should not just rush to say ´she cannot be a movie star.´´ she is just 37 and am sure she can do A LOT and in a very very better way than most ´movie stars.´´
It is funny that some people say thinks about Jen Aniston which is simply a bit strange. She is an actress and I do not think she is the only one making less box office hit movies. I agree that we give her a break and try to be a bit fair and not try to sort of judge her acting capacity in haste. As we know it, if she did not have any, she would not stay more than 15 years in this business.
I agree completely with Holly. I feel like she must be friends with everyone in Hollywood, but that does not mean she should have starring roles in movies. And Loly, a lot of the comments aren’t saying she cannot be a movie star, but that she isn’t one and yet she’s been highlighted as one for so long. To sum up how I feel, I liken it to her fashion sense. She always looks nice, but she’s always in the same thing (black, sleek, long hair, etc.)
BOMBS AWAY! Looks like another tragedy for Jennifer Aniston. America just prefers Angelina (and so does Brad)
Oh Jen, having an Emmy doesn’t easily translate to big screen success, not when you choose film projects the way Katharine McPhee chose her Idol repertoire. Just one good film, Jen, one good film and you can be called a movie star. Find your own “pretty woman”
I think to be fair, you have to remember that her performances in The Good Girl and Friends With Money have been well reviewed. She actually can act, but maybe doesn’t pick scripts so well. These romantic comedies are too similar to Friends. She just needs to go with the indie thing. It seems to be where she can do something different. I do agree about the blandness in the romcoms, but in those indie movies, you didn’t feel like you were watching Rachel Green. I feel like there is something more there, but we have only seen a glimmer of what she can do.