It’s been a while since we played Beat This Caption, but this promotional shot from Mariah Carey’s debut as a Gillette Venus spokesmodel is kinda begging for it. My colleague Gary Susman notes there’s an eerie resemblance to a certain four-toed Lost statue going on here, but I went in a different direction with my caption. So do your best Michael Jackson impression and Beat It:
"You should see the statue that Maidenform is making for me!"
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“What were they thinking? I would so never wear those shoes!”
if sculpting my actual body were so easy…
She got the bigger legs, I got the bigger voice.
Now available: Pocket Diva.
Liposuction fat never looked so good… Maybe after my next nervous breakdown I will have enough for the torso…hmmmm?
Who said Mariah Carey’s wouldn’t have legs?
whoops…i meant:
“Who said Mariah Carey’s career wouldn’t have legs??
They’re making it even easier to look up my skirt!
don’t waorry guys didn’t you say wanted more legs in the bedroom
Mini Mimi
“My legs are from Venus. My music is from Uranus.”
Carey (left) demonstrates the latest techo-marvel: three-dimensional images derived not from human models, but from their uber-Photoshopped counterparts.
And they said there could never be anything bigger than her ego.
Further proof that Mariah Carey is actually a man in drag: she is from Mars, while her legs are from Venus.
mariah carey is my favorite singer EVER, but these captions are hilarious. i’m not funny, i just wanted to commend some funny a** comments