Brangelina: Birth is imminent!

10168__brangie_l_1Holy Namibia! Birth is imminent! Little Nkrumah Toasteroven Pitt-Jolie is on his/her way!

It’s a busy week already: Michelle Rodriguez is back in jail, so it’s terrible timing for her. Dr. 90210 is busy tackling old men on planes. Jilted models and ill-tempered nerds are fighting over the lifeless corpse of Brett Ratner. On top of all this, can the world handle The Most Beautiful Celebribaby Ever?

Looks like we’re going to have to. Angelina can’t hold it in forever. The longer you hold in a baby, science tells us, the more likely it is to come out looking like Billy Bob Thornton. And imagine how awkward that would be.

But maybe… maybe we misread Pitt’s statement. Maybe the birth isn’t "imminent," but "immanent." Meaning, "having existence or effect only within the mind or consciousness." The baby, in other words, is in your mind. There is no baby, just as there is no baby-spoon. Meditate on that. It’ll get you through the difficult days ahead.

addCredit(“Jolie & Pitt: Brennan Linsley/AP”)

Comments (10 total) Add your comment
  • Ed

    I hope the Brangelina baby is as big as a flop as Tom Cruises MI3. Looks like it has caused Tom to hide away from the public for a while – thank god!
    Other wise, when Brad gets out of bed naked and Angelina sees his back side, creases and all, she probably thinks, what is the world going crazy over?

  • Jackie

    I like them together. I think she has done wonderful things with her celebrity. There have been times of TMI (Billy Bob Thornton & Oscars) but she has grown and matured.
    She is bringing awareness to poverty and illness in 3rd world nations that do not have the support of governments like the US and in Europe.
    They seem happy. Brad gets the baby he has always wanted, has a beautiful companion and wonderful diverse family enviorment. Angelina seems to have found a partner who has the same goals of family and global awareness.
    The media are the ones responsible for overexposure. Unfortunatly there is much money to be made and people are facinated with thier lives and are willing to post in blogs, buy magazines and see thier movies. All serving the purpose of supply and demand. You may not be the one contributing to it but there are people out there who are.
    I just hope they have a healthy baby and can raise the child with love and security no matter how thier relationship pans out. I hope the same for any parents. Tom Cruise included.

  • Ed

    Jackie, your comment was BORING! We all know that they’ll break up in 5 years once the baby is born. Brad Pitt’s face is stretching due to age so he’ll need to do something drastic in order to remain in the spot light.
    I do agree that Angelina has done something different with her celebrity. Going to a 3rd world country probably gives her some perspective on what celebrity/Hollywood is really about. But for those of us stuck in the rut of 9 to 5, it’s nice to come to these boards and cream celebrities with pie.

  • Mandy

    Nkrumah Toasteroven Pitt-Jolie. That’s a good name! It does seem as though celebrities use mad libs to name their children…
    But let’s get to the really interesting part of Brangelina: how long before they break up! $10 says it’s less than a year. Any takers? Come on, you all know you get off on the misfortune of others! Especially when those others are rich and attractive!

  • Tim

    When I hear the word ‘imminent,’ I think of military action. Weird choice of words when it comes to a birth.

  • Jenny

    In response to Ed, I agree that the failure of MI3 is based largely on the fact that the general public is just plain SICK of Tom Cruise. His face is everywhere, and he needs to cool it.
    However, unlike Mr. Cruise, I don’t think that Brad and Angelina (I refuse to merge celebrity names) brought all this media attention upon themselves — they are just both such huge stars. So I don’t wish any harm on their respective careers, and I think that they are still fathoms less annoying than that couple known by a moniker synonymous with a male feline.

  • AtoZ

    Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!! There is no spoon! I don’t care that the joke is overdone, still cracks me up!!! lol

  • Jackie

    Ed,
    Your 9-5 rut is worse than you think if “boards” & “creaming celebs” are all you have. Get off the computer and get a hobby.
    LOSER !

  • Rebecca

    Ed, what an ugly statement to make. There is a child coming into the world and it just happens to have parents that are celebrities. It does not, however, give someone as lame as you to say that. I don’t know what the world is coming too. Can’t people just mind their own business. What are people getting out of chasing pregnant people anyway? With their money they can get you for stalking. Just chill out people!!!

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