'Die Hard 4': For the hell of it

9599__diehard_lBruce Willis says Die Hard 4 is coming together. He said this with conviction, and in Cannes, and I’m inclined to take him seriously. The last Die Hard (perfectly fun, with a blah finale) came out 11 years ago, and rumors of this one have been floating almost as long. If only out of teased-blue frustration, we’re soooo ready for Die Hard 4: Die Already. So let’s waste no time and decode Willis’ brief statement.

"I’ve got a little bit of good news. We’re as close as we’ve ever got to getting Die Hard 4 started. It won’t be called Die Hard 4 but that will be the story. Hopefully it will be out next summer."

There you have it. The story will be "Die Hard 4." That’s a powerful story. Versions of it have been told by every culture throughout human history. Hunter-gatherers spoke darkly of it around their campfires, with whispers of "yippee-ky-yay, motherf—er." In many ways (as Joseph Campbell has observed), the story of Die Hard 4 is the story of humanity.

But what’s that story about? Wish I knew. We know what it’s not: It’s not a terrorist plot to flood New Orleans. Yes, believe it or not, that was the premise pre-Katrina. Then reality (in lieu of terrorists) intervened. So you won’t get to see a train leap off its tracks, ram an oil tanker and explode, causing waves to inundate the Big Easy. Let this be a lesson to you, Hollywood: What screenwriters can’t achieve in a timely fashion, bad governance and bureaucratic ineptitude will steal right out from under them.

Does Willis have a new Die Hard script in hand? Who knows? But that shouldn’t stop us from coming up with ideal terror scenarios to torment John McClane. We’ve seen him in a skyscraper in L.A., at an airport in D.C., and all over the infrastructure of New York City — where can we stick him now? A Barnes and Noble in Knoxville? ("Where are the bathrooms?!?! I’m full of Starbucks here!") Here’s one idea: John McClane encounters an elderly archaeologist wearing a fedora. Together, they fight German-accented villains, compare 401Ks and unravel the secrets of the prescription drug benefit.

addCredit(“Die Hard: Kobal Collection”)

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Comments (13 total) Add your comment
  • Ceballos

    Die Hard: With a Vengence…”perfectly fun, with a blah finale”…that’s actually EXACTLY right…you just effectively and accurately reviewed that movie with six words. Most critics can’t achieve that kind of accuracy and clarity in many paragraphs. Great job Scott!
    As far as the movie…I’ll be there, though I’m not sure how successful it’ll be. Remember after the first Die Hard (and through the mid-90s) there was a rash of ripoffs with the same formula (“Die Hard” in a plane, “Die hard” on a train)…one man in a confined space killing a bunch of euro-trash terrorists.
    Since that got played out almost 10 years ago, maybe it’ll be time for a renaissance come Summer ’07

  • Jen

    Reading this in Knoxville (though not in Barnes and Noble), I had to laugh out loud. However, oddly enough, with its close proximity to the nuclear facilities in Oak Ridge, that might actually have the makings of an interesting thriller.

  • Azmoviewatcher

    Is it safe to assume that the director of Die Hard 3: The Blah One, (as well as the original) John McTiernan, will not be available to direct this one given his recent plea with the Feds in the ongoing Pellicano scandal? Oh well, I’m sure Renny Harlin could use the work.

  • dma69

    Yippie Kay Ye.

  • nathan

    I love the idea of Die Hard 4, Bruno’s da man!!!!

  • cj

    stop trying to recapture the 80′s,its sad ask sharon stone.

  • Maeve

    I’ll be there. I love me some John McClane.

  • Robin

    YES PLEASE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jason

    Am I the only one who got (and LOVED) Scott Brown’s reference to Mad About You?!?! Die Hard 4: Die Already was mentioned in a late episode of the show when Bruce Willis was making a cameo as himself making the movie in New York.
    No? No one? Ok, Scott and I are geeks together, then…

  • Henry M

    A fourth Die Hard would be just as good as its script. Gimme a break! If James Bond slides into its 5th decade, I think 4 Die Hard movies is nothing. Besides, the script I read was Die Hard 4.0 and read like a lot of fun. has McClane working for Homeland Security and a band of techno geek baddies as his nemesis. The first took place in a high rise, the second in an airport, the third, most of NYC. This one has him running from the bad guys from state to state because of their savvy with computers. For example, they know he’s on a plane and decide to mess with the controls from the ground and slam the plane into another plane. It could work.

  • Henry M

    ….and Sharon Stone was never 80s.

  • MUSTAFA MUNIER AHMED

    I LOVE ALL THE MOVIES OF BEUCE WILLS DIE HARD 1 ALL SO DIE HARD 2 ALL SO DIE HARD 3 THIS TIME IT WILL BE THE BEST MOVIE OF DIE HARD 4 TO SEE AT MOVIES IN 2007 I WILL BE THERE TO SEE IT/ THANK YOU MUSTAFA MUNIER AHMED.

  • zpeylidr mlfr

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