So our very own Gary Susman noted this on Billboard.com today. Sez Guns N’ Roses long-overdue Chinese Democracy album is a-comin’, and a-comin’ soon. Like, in the fall. Quoth Axl Rose (pictured): "It will be out this year."
Quoth Susman: "I expect to see a double feature of Feast and The Day the Clown Cried at the multiplex before it hits stores."
Gary’s rightfully suspicious. But it got me thinking: What else will happen before GN’R’s perpetually announced, never-delivered album really drops?
1. All eight of Britney Spears’ children will have released albums, except for Little Tito Federline, Nobel Laureate.
2. Jams will be back in style.
3. Color Me Badd will be elected president in a phone-voting mishap.
4. Congress will be made up of 43 percent superintelligent porpoises.
5. Tom Cruise’s Still Smiling at 250 will top the New York Times best-seller list.
6. I’ll still be getting back on my gym schedule, like, tomorrow, totally.
7. The Chinese will have adopted not only democracy but NASCAR and forks.
Or maybe we’re being too harsh. Do you believe Axl? I’m not sure it really matters. I’m used to waiting. The album’s arrival will probably herald the Rapture anyway, so I’m not exactly chomping at the bit. And if it does show up someday, well, I’ll have something to listen to while I’m canoeing to midtown Manhattan.
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Ahhh, a reference to Color Me Badd- is it my birthday?
Not sure if I believe him or not but pretty sure that I don’t care either way. Loved GNR in the past though.
It’s like when I went to see Scott Weiland many years ago in concert at The Odeon in Cleveland …and he was 45 minutes late …because he said he was “stuck in traffic” …in Cleveland …on a Tuesday night …and, um, the only traffic in Cleveland on a Tuesday night (back then) …was tumbleweeds.
Yeah, like I said …”Traffic.”
8. Chris McVetta will be writing for “Entertainment Weekly” – without any Ivy League connections.
To quote Ted Knight in “Caddyshack” and the such: “Well, Danny, the world needs ditch-diggers TOO!”
The id and I – “Noonan!”
http://www.theidandi.blogspot.com
ooooooooooo, oooo-oo, ooooooo, no one wants to sex AXL up….
That picture’s from Madame Tussaud’s, right? Right?! *shudder*
Here are my picks:
9. Wal-Mart will donate $100,000,000 to the Democratic National Committee.
10. Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood will start covering the war in Iraq and campaign finance reform in an effort to shed their tabloid image.
I believe that it is Axl’s intent that the album be released this year. I also believe that no one can predict the future. Whenever it’s released, it will be great. That much I’m sure of. People only want to talk about controversy with Axl Rose, not the fact that the man really has a way with melody or that he’s a great performer. I’m just happy that the band is out touring starting tomorrow. They are a fantastic, tight band that is truly powerful to witness live.
All I know is that Chinese Democracy had better be damn good. Over a decade is waaayyy too long, that’s for sure.
Who really cares at this point? The true talent that made GN’R what they were is already gone. I lost interest 13 years ago when Chinese Democracy was supposed to drop.
11. In his Oscar acceptance speech, David Spade thanks Ang Lee “for having the courage to make Manimal: The Movie, without which I would not be standing here today.”
12. Chocolate no longer delicious.
13. Trekkies everywhere suddenly realize that they have been devoting their lives to a show that went off the air forty years ago, and wasn’t very good to begin with.
14. NOW has Tom Cruise as it’s keynote speaker at their annual convention.
15. George Clooney gets no play.
The Bush family will denounce all blue blood and oil ties. Then donate all money to charity to end world poverty and hunger. That same day frogs fall from the sky. George Micheal announces Wham! reunion concert…
all this bluster is just leading up to the “phantasmagoric” reunion tour that the original members will pull and make bazillions on. count on it. clear some room on your credit card. the GNR reunion tour 2008 is only moments away. and like motley crue’s run for your buck, the tour will suck glorious azz.
Give Axl a break, please. He has worked so hard for so long & has inspired so many, many bands that have come after GNR. How many bands has Nirvana inspired (even though they were good,too)? Axl will release Democracy when he feels it’s ready. Ok?
I agree with Bully.
Furthermore, Axl should re-record “My Michelle” as a duet with Sebastian Bach & release “that”! They sound so good together!