Good morning, film critics and headline writers. Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Come up with a headline for your Mission: Impossible III review that isn’t a tired variation on puns that have been beaten into the ground in headlines for reviews from Tom Cruise’s previous turns as spy Ethan Hunt.
Alas, few newspapers took up that mission this morning; lots of ”Mission: Accomplished” and ”Cruise Control” headlines. There were a few variations, by editors who remember Man of La Mancha, of ”Impossible Dream.” Still, original and clever headlines were hard to come by. Here are the few we came across:
St. Paul Pioneer Press: A high V IV ‘III’
Arizona Republic: ‘III’ jeers for mediocrity
Minneapolis Star Tribune: ‘M:I’ WHEE!
San Diego Union-Tribune: Blow up, blow hard
Washington Post: Run, Tom, Run! Cruise Gets Off the Couch in Accomplished ‘Mission’
Lexington (Ky.) Herald-Leader: Mission: Fun with explosions
Columbus (Ohio) Dispatch: Hunt’s-ville
New York Post: Tom Foolery
Comments (1-28) of 28 Add your comment
The Daily Planet: Don’t see this movie b/c Tom Cruise sucks.
Episode III: Revenge of the Hoffman
MI:III: Xenu gives it 2 alien thumbs WAY UP!
“Mission Impossible 3: The Spy Who Loved Scientology”
The id and I – “The only Pedigree we have are ‘Choice Cuts in Gravy.’”
http://www.theidandi.blogspot.com
Mission: Waste My Time
They say that if you go to movie with high expectations you are bound to be disappointed. Unfortunately, I went to this movie with no expectations and was still bored and frustrated with a combination of a poor script, bad acting, and a pointless plot.
Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), who is now longer in the field, but instead is a trainer, is engaged to be married to a beautiful doctor Julia (Michelle Monaghan).
But he is pulled back, just-one-more-time, to save Lindsey Ferris (Kerri Russell), a young agent who he trained, who was captured.
Ethan and team get her out, but, while he is able to extract her, she still dies (which is one of the few good graces of the film as I did not have to put up with her pathetic, soppy acting style for long).
From there on, the movie goes on a ridiculous, impractical and unoriginal journey, in which they are amazingly able to immediately capture the “main” bad guy Owen (Philip Seymour Hoffman), someone the agency has spent decades trying to capture with no success, during a party at the Vatican City, one of the most secure places in the world.
Then, after the bag guy gets away, Ethan is given 48 hours to get something only known as the “rabbit’s foot” (which everyone presumes is a deadly weapon). IF he doesn’t, his wife is dead!!!!
He and his team travel to Shanghai, figure out a plan to get into the secure location of where the Chinese authorities have the “rabbit’s foot” and successfully break-in and get it, all with a few minutes to spare!!!
Oh, the toxic substance happens to be in downtown Shanghai, in one of the tallest buildings, which, of course is where all governments would put a potential civilization destroying toxic product!
Of course, there is the obligatory twist which makes no sense. I don’t want to give away what happens at the end, but in all honesty, there was no real twist, and I have question the intelligence of anyone that is at the edge of their seat at this point. For me, when Julia transforms in to an expert killer, shooting with accuracy, swapping gun cartridges with easy, and flipping around with balance, confirmed the absurdity and stupidity of the film.
Total, absolute waste of time and money!
People were laughing where I don’t think laughter was the emotion the director and actors were looking for.
Tom Cruise has proven, once again, that he has no depth, no character, and is a product of a society that wants flash (whatever that is) without any actual substance or expectations.
I generally like Ving
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FilmWeek – May 4
This week’s films include Mission: Impossible III, An American Haunting, Art School Confidential and The Proposition. We invite you to write reviews on the films we’re featuring this week.
…
FilmWeek – May 4
This week’s films include Mission: Impossible III, An American Haunting, Art School Confidential and The Proposition. We invite you to write reviews on the films we’re featuring this week.
…
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