'Top Model': Now is the time on PopWatch when we krump

16218__model_lIs it just me, or are the eliminations on this cycle of America’s Next Top Model actually making sense? Thus far, I can’t really argue with any of the contestants who’ve gotten the boot: Looking at Kathy, Kari, Gina, Mollie Sue, and, of course, this week’s reject Leslie, you pretty much knew none of them had a chance to win, and unlike crazy Jade, they didn’t even bring the drama. (Not to mention, Leslie showed up for this week’s evaluation looking ashen and defeated.)

That said, I’m not getting why Tyra and the judges got so excited about this week’s PayLess/krumping photo shoots from bitter rivals Nnenna (pictured, at left) and Brooke. The latter’s explosive new curls certainly kicked her fierce factor up a notch, but look at her awkward posture: Do you need any additional proof she knows zilch about working it for the camera? Nnenna, meanwhile, resembled a member of Tommy the Clown’s posse, what with all the makeup caked on her face, and that vacant smile of hers reminded me of Cycle 5 winner Nicole. (Anyone who caught the latter’s ”My Life as a Cover Girl” ad this week knows I don’t mean that as a compliment.)

I was far more impressed by Joanie (pictured, at right) and Danielle’s best shots. Sure, I’m probably biased toward this season’s two most delightful personalities, but that said, Joanie effortlessly injected her picture with a playful sexuality missing from all of her competitors’ shoots. And as for Danielle, her pose, her expression, and her rockin’ abs were so intense, I barely noticed she was surrounded by scary clowns.

Oh, and speaking of scary clowns, let’s get back to Brooke for a second. I know she probably didn’t intend for her catty remark about Nnenna — ”go back to Africa if it’s so damn great!” — to sound quite as, um, controversial as it did, but that, coupled with consistently lousy photos and her tendency to weep at a moment’s notice, have kind of made her dead to me for the rest of the season — even if Nnenna is, in fact, a long-distance hog. (I loved Danielle’s assessment of PhoneGate 2006: ”You see the sun rise, you see it set. You see the Eiffel Tower, you see the crows cock. All that goes on, and Nnenna’s still on the phone.”)

On the flip side, is it me, or is Jade becoming maybe just a wee bit likable (despite her tendency to refer to herself in the third person)? I know she had the best outfit for working the ”Aswirl Twin” method, but damned if she didn’t execute more turns than Sasha Cohen as she burned up the church fashion-show runway. You better work! That said, I think Mr. Jay probably sealed poor Jade’s future elimination when he referred to her water-bottle antics during the photo shoot as ”classic Tyra.” Yes, our host with the most knows from good television, but I don’t see her tolerating any All About Eve vibeology.

Am I right, or do you think Jade has a chance to make the final three? Whose photo shoot impressed you most this week? And are you as terrified-excited as me to see Joanie’s painful dental work next week?

addCredit(“America’s Next Top Model: Trevor O’Shana”)

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  • Maya

    Michael Slezak, you rock! I didn’t see the entire episode, but Joanie looked great, and Nnenna looked like a piece of wood with a smile drawn on it. Look at that (non)pose — awful! I think they want Brooke to be the come-from-behind story, like Nicole last year (who didn’t take a best-of-episode picture the ENTIRE season, but walked away the winner because she rocked the FINAL catwalk. (yeah, i’m still bitter.) I think it’s down to Joanie or Danielle, but I don’t think Tyra likes Danielle. She’s cooler than Tyra and Tyra knows it.

  • Andrew

    HI, um. The girl in the right photo is not brooke, its joanie. I just thought you should know, cuz i got a bit confused when you said brooke was pictured. Thanx!

  • Vicki

    Uh, yeah. That isn’t Brooke pictured.

  • Ceballos

    Sorry, this has nothing to do with “Top Model” though I am a fan.
    I just wanna say…damn that Trenyce chick from Season 2 of American Idol is lookin’ smokin! (Did you all see her on the homepage today??)
    I can finally see why Slezak (to this day) still goes on and on about her.

  • dub

    Michael Slezak, how i love you so (even when we disagree)!
    i’m crazy about Joanie & Danielle, and maybe in a weird i’m-not-sure-what’s-wrong-with-me-because-she-really-does-look-like-ET sort of way– Furonda. also, i think Brooke’s shot from last night was terrific- the body, the face, everything. i finally saw real potential.
    similarly, i thought Nnenna’s shot was awful. i was like “gah! SHE looks even more like a CLOWN than all the guys krumping around her!” plus, her personality seemed genuinely cool & confident at first, but lately i think she’s revealed herself as an elitist, rigid, inconsiderate Mean Girl.
    oh, and Jade? i can’t even stand the sight of her. she’s just so OLD and NASTY. when she was like “if there’s a runway, Jade will be on it. even if it’s in the Sahara.” i was thinking, please, go there and never come back. every time she talks i just want someone to hit her. in the face. with a rock. she should have gone last week for that DISASTEROUS CG commercial.
    anyhow, go Joanie & Danielle!

  • Maeve

    Maybe you guys need to read a little more carefully. Michael wrote that Nnenna was pictured on the left, and that she had a rivalry with Brooke, but did not say she was pictured. Later on he did mention that it was Joanie pictured on the right.
    THAT SAID…I think Joanie’s picture was totally stupid and the only thing consistent about the ANTM panel of judges is that they are inconsistent.

  • ed

    Sorry, folks, we had a temporary mixup on the photo IDs. Thanks for catching it!

  • pfitz

    Michael darling, when are you going to make this a TV Watch column again, instead of a Pop Watch blog? We LOVE ANTM and we need regular commentary!
    BTW–I love Danielle to death, but I disagree with you about her photo this week. I thought it was one of her worst.
    And here’s a scandal for you to investigate–
    Why are all the shoes cut off of the photos posted on ANTM’s Model Portfolio shots????? Wasn’t that supposed to be the point of the shoot?
    I smell a sponsorship scandal…..
    P.S. HATED Nnenna’s photo last night. And I think she’s been solid so far, but that one was hideous….

  • Alex

    I honestly don’t think Nenna has a chance of being ANTM. She’s way too quiet and shy. She hardly ever talks. I kind of find her annoying. Haha. Anyways, as for Jade, I can’t see her being ANTM either. Jade is cold and very.. tranny-esque. Jade doesn’t have that friendlyness a model should have or give away.
    Besides those two, I wouldn’t mind seeing anyone else being ANTM.

  • m&m

    WHY oh WHY did you stop the TV watch for this show??? This show is a big hit, with a big following, and I used to anxiously await the column on the morning after, almost more than the show itself….PLEASE oh PLEASE bring it back!!!
    Okay, enough begging….I really don’t have a fav to win, just so jade doesn’t! Seriously, JADE? Yuk….

  • Fatima

    Maya – you are so right. Especially about Danielle.
    I am really sick of Nnenna for being so elitist. Her photo was super creepy too. She can never win because after 5 winners with little charisma, they need someone fun (eva is the closest they have so far) I can’t suffer through Nnenna Cover Girl of the Week ads. Danielle or Joanie ads?
    I don’t understand why Leslie went over Sara. I guess you get punished for being too pretty?

  • Help Please

    This is the FIRST season of ANTM that I haven’t watched. I think it’s because it does or used to conflict with American Idol.
    Anyway, has anyone seen or heard of when they’ll have this season’s marathon on VH1?
    Do they wait until the end or I wonder if they’ll start now.

  • Doubleh

    Leslie might have been pretty but as they said all the time last season, she was a little too Men’s magazine sex kitten for me. And that walk–Yikes! Did anyone else notice how she always had her butt stuck out. Nnenna’s pic was frightening! I don’t understand how they liked it. I’m rooting for crybaby Brooke and Furonda–both very strange looking girls but fun! But we all know that Danielle is going to take the crown. Now she is pretty in the best way.

  • Cek

    At this point I hope Joanie wins. She seems the best of the lot. I could also accept Danielle or Furonda. The rest of them? ick.

  • Maeve

    Pfitz…excellent call! I didn’t even catch that!

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