Tom Cruise's Manhattan mission

Maybe Tom Cruise jumps on couches simply because he can’t sit still. In an apparent effort to prove he does all his own vehicular stunts in the Mission: Impossible movies, America’s favorite still-boyish bundle of energy has planned a publicity stunt that will have him criss-crossing Manhattan for six hours in pretty much every available mode of public transport New York has to offer except a horse-drawn carriage. According to a press release from the Tribeca Film Festival, which is hosting the May 3 U.S. premiere of Mission: Impossible III, Cruise will spend the day traveling between screenings in Lower Manhattan, Harlem, and Midtown via motorcycle, speedboat, taxicab, helicopter, sports car, and subway.

Guess Cruise was too modest to mention that, while navigating the speedboat, he’ll also be teaching a child to read; while flying the helicopter, he’ll be helping a junkie kick heroin; and while driving the motorcycle, he’ll be assisting in the silent delivery of his child by Katie Holmes. Mom, Pop, and Baby TomKat will then stroll the red carpet at the Ziegfeld Theater (the baby will have learned to walk by the time it arrives at the premiere). Then they’ll all fly to a remote spot on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border, where they’ll capture Osama bin Laden. And on the flight home, they’ll work out the principles of cold fusion. So it’ll be kind of a busy day.


Comments (20 total)
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  • aramis

    Don’t forget that while at the Premiere of the movie itself, he won’t be watching as he’ll be next to the theater screen doing an interpretive dance while he signs the movie for the group of deaf kids he’s invited from NYC’s inner city schools, apparently whom he feels will be more entertained by his goofy exertions than reading, ya know…subtitles.

  • jay

    Would it kill him to walk a few blocks between using the helicopter and subway, etc.?

  • pn

    Tom didn’t you know you had us at hello……..now please say goodbye.

  • pitchmeister

    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
    Its sad when a stars ego has burnt out his own hollywood star. And whats wrong with taking the bus too??????

  • Tim L

    Don’t forget they will also end the genocide in Darfur and negotiate a lasting middle east peace all while teaching the Baby sanskrit.

  • Stephanie Travitsky

    He has a point about fighting a disability without medication. When I was a child I was diagnosed with dyspraxia and in my later years, attention deficit disorder. Ridilin was like having a cup of coffee and coffee is cheaper, plus Effexor made me naucious. It is posible to fight without the medication but come on, he did not fight dyslezia through Scientology. I did it through learning and practice and so did he.

  • Stephanie Travitsky

    He has a point about fighting a disability without medication. When I was a child I was diagnosed with dyspraxia and in my later years, attention deficit disorder. Ridilin was like having a cup of coffee and coffee is cheaper, plus Effexor made me naucious. It is posible to fight without the medication but come on, he did not fight dyslexia through Scientology. I did it through learning and practice and so did he.

  • Charlie

    If Tom Cruise actually walked to his premiere, he could stop burning gas and save the environment too. Damn that guy is in love with himself! Unleash the thetans!

  • dma69

    Since I live and work in Manhattan, I’ll be sure to avoid him at all costs. Can’t he just do normal interviews and premieres like other actors?

  • Karla

    Here’s what would make me think that a star upon whom millions are resting would EVER, ever, ever, ever be allowed to do his own dangerous stunts:
    I want to see his contract, the production documents, Cruise’s personal insurance policy, and most importantly, the production insurance policy that specifically speaks to what would happen if Cruise were injured.
    An injury in a major star can shut down a film, and on a big budget production, that can mean hundreds of thousands of dollars a day going down the drain. No production company or insurer would agree to it. It’s absurd.
    It’s also a slap in the face to real stuntmen.

  • mike

    He just needs to go away for awhile. For his sake and ours.

  • Ceballos

    I’m actually still a fan of the guy’s movies. I just turn the channel or stop reading when i see or hear of any of his loony shennanigans.
    But I’m with Mike…maybe going away for a while would be the best thing for him. The backlash and general ill-will toward the guy I’m feeling is huge. It’s on par with the ill-will toward Tom Hanks’ infamous McVinci…and Unan1mous.

  • Howard

    I think he should be hitting the hansom carriages as well. Those things can be pretty hair-raising with the right driver. Then he should heed Mike’s request and GO AWAY.

  • The Other Kyle

    You forgot that on the way home, Tom is going to solve every single mystery on LOST.

  • E

    And just think…if Comedy Central had only run the Scientology episode of South Park again, they could have spared us all from this crap.

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