Here’s what the nation’s reviewers had to say about Phat Girlz, Mo’Nique’s new comedy (pictured)… uh, wait a minute, Fox Searchlight didn’t screen it for critics. Okay, let’s do Rob Schneider’s Benchwarmers instead… oops, Sony didn’t screen that one for critics either.
We got nothing, people.
Ah, but there was a sneak preview of Benchwarmers for the public in Florida. What’s that? Orlando Sentinel critic Roger Moore put the "sneak" in sneak preview, and snuck in? And wrote a review, which Sony tried to get his paper and his syndicate to disavow? They didn’t, of course, so you can read Moore’s writeup here. It’s not too flattering — who’d have guessed?
For those of you keeping score at home, that’s 11 movies already in the first three months or so of 2006 that the studios didn’t screen for critics because they knew we wouldn’t like them. I can imagine Sony taking revenge on Moore by blurbing his review out of context. ”Vintage Spade… By all means, hie thee to a multiplex. It’s funnier than Larry the Cable Guy.”
Benchwarmers? Please. Rob Schneider and David Spade bumped into Heder at some event and were all “Dude, you are totally a rising star and the two of us are pure drivel. Let us put our dead talentless weight on you and make a movie”. Sounds like a half azzed attempt to make Dodgeball with none of the layered humor.
And Phat Girlz? Chris Rock already told that joke in 1998 yo. I’m thinkin’ the studios are throwing a lot of low cost filler at the walls to see what sticks.
Unfortunately, since all the good writers left to go work on TV (or for EW’s Popwatch), all “low cost” means in Hollywood nowadays is “even worse than our big name movies with no explosions”.
Ep Sato…you rock my face!
Quote: “since all the good writers left to go work on TV (or for EW’s Popwatch), all ‘low cost’ means in Hollywood nowadays is ‘even worse than our big name movies with no explosions’.
Amen!
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again…as an aspiring screenwriter, I can only imagine the gazillions of quality scripts passed over for the likes of these films which are so bad they don’t even get screened for the critics.
But people like me shall remain optimistic and just keep on truckin’. We shall reclaim Hollywood once again!
I gotta say it: I think Mo’Nique is a queen. I liked The Parkers okay, but I’ve seen her live and she totally rocks my world. But I have a feeling that Phat Girlz is gonna be a Razzie-worthy movie. I don’t think of Mo’Nique as an actress. She’s sort of like Chris Rock: a mediocre actor, but a brilliant social satirist and stand-up comedian. When Mo’Nique finally makes her concert film, I’ll definitely go: She’s raunchy and funny and well worth going to see. But I’m gonna give Phat Girlz a pass. As for The Benchwarmers, well…please. Why bother?
Benchwarmers looked like it’s trying to be an adult version of The Bad News Bears. And what’s with Jon Heder? Is this the best role he can get after Napoleon Dynamite? He may as well kiss his career good-bye.