'Lost': Map madness continues

Obsessives, stretch your nerd muscles (located mostly in the neck and eyeballs): It’s time for some Lost detective work.

You’ll be happy to know we’re publishing That Crazy Map from the Hatch blast door in this week’s issue — and also right here on the site.

(Let’s pretend, for a second, that it hasn’t already spread all over the Internet.)

Now I’m no Doc Jensen (though I strongly recommend you check out his insanely rational theories), but a friend has strongly encouraged me to follow this lead: Valenzetti. You’ll see the name on the lower left hand corner of the map, along with the words, "…relevance to Valenzetti-related research activity." My friend Googled "Valenzetti" and discovered a Googlewhack, that oh-so-rare search term that brings up only one result, in this case a log of recently registered domain names, including:

enzovalenzetti.com
thevalenzettiequation.com
valenzetti.com
valenzettiequation.com

All were registered last Sunday, by a shadowy entity called "Domain Discreet," which I suspect is a broker for companies buying sites on the sly for one reason or another.

So… who is Enzo Valenzetti? Is he, like Alvar Hanso, a fictitious creation, sprung from the minds of Damon Lindelof, Carlton Cuse, and J.J. Abrams? Or is he a real-world reference, like Flann O’Brien, much-blogged-about author of The Third Policeman? Get crackin’, ladies and gents. Like I said, I’m no Doc Jensen. I don’t formulate answers; I demand them — from other, smarter people!

And while you’re at it, help me with the mystery of "Dharmatel." It appears on The Map more than once (look in the upper right corner, near the dotted, hatch-marked "C3"): "Why so many Dharmatel relays in such an untenable position?"; down below, under "I am here," a note speaks of "Dharmatel intranet."

Sounds like more Lost nerdspeak, right? And it most assuredly is. But Dharmatel might be a real company, if these listings are to be believed.

So get to work, people! I want answers! Gotta run now, there’s an IM coming in from Milo Rambaldi

[UPDATE: The folks at The Tail Section have translated — and in some cases, corrected the grammar of (suh-NAP!) — the Latin phrases that appear on the map.]


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  • Lizard

    “Flann O’Brien,” as a point of comparison, gets 266,000 results on Google. “‘Flann O’Brien’ -Lost,” to weed out some of the references to the TV show, still gets 210,000. My (unusual) name gets 42, and I’m of no consequence whatsoever. “Valenzetti” gets one — to that domain registry site. Valenzetti is either fake or so obscure that he might as well be.
    Dharmatel has me stumped. The best I can do is that the Hanso offices were in Narvik, Norway, which is . . . close to the Netherlands? That’s weak. (Especially since Narvik is about as far away as you can get from the Netherlands and still be in Norway.) Someone call that phone number on the clickit page!

  • Tim L

    Milo Rambaldi is not IMing you!
    He and I were having tea this afternoon during your supposed IM.

  • Scott

    He’s a great multitasker, Tim. Also: Remember when you got up to go to the can?

  • Kovixen

    Lost: The Map

    Don’t read this if you haven’t seen the episode yet. I just did. It rocked, damn! God I love this show, I wish it would hurry up and be on all the time. With 100 episode seasons. Hell, just make…

  • Rob

    One thing to notice at the bottom of the zoomed in portion near the question mark in the middle is “Liberte Te Ex Infernis” = “Save Yourself from Hell.”

  • V.M.L.

    Am I the only one who noticed that Walt was in the latest episode of My Name is Earl?

  • Laura

    No, V.M.L., I totally noticed right away as I was watching tonight that Walt was in My Name Is Earl. Nice to see him again – finally! And he doesn’t actually look that much older, and his voice hasn’t changed yet, so they can totally bring him back to Lost without it being too weird. I hope…

  • Tim

    Sorry, but Lost doesn’t hold my attention like it did last season. I tape it, but if I get around to watching it is another thing. If I do, I do, and if I don’t, no big deal. There’s reruns and DVD to get me caught up. Too unfocused this season.

  • Dave

    The dharmatel.com link goes through to a Counterstrike Clan website!! Bizarre!

  • tim

    great episode on wednesday night – check out the LOST cake we enjoyed at our weekly viewing party: http://peopleofpaper.blogspot.com/2006/03/locke-cake.html

  • chelsea

    hello, i am chelsea i am one of the biggest fans of lost it is so exciting my friend told me that their is a man underground controlling everything and their is a young tribe and an old tribe is this true?

  • Preston

    Did anyone else notice that the map has roman numerals everywhere but they are written as if they are something else. CVI, CVII, CVIII, CVIV??? Now if you translate it, it says 106, 107, 108, and 109… now we all know one of the numbers used in the show is 108, that’s how many minutes until the buzzer goes off. Also i doubt this has anything to do with anything, but if i am not mistaken, the buzzer goes off 3 minutes before 108 minutes, at 105 minutes, and the door did not close all way, and the pattern would be that the hidden part would have a CV (105) up next to “Arrow”, which is when the buzzer starts to go off… i don’t get why any of this would matter, but if that helps anyone in any way… cool.

  • Kathy

    I think “tel” stands for telephone. So Dharmatel is their internal (on the island) telephone system. It might be that calls are being forwarded or relayed from an “untenable position” as in a position that doesn’t make sense either from a physical or system viewpoint. That might hide the original source of the call.
    FYI, on another subject. I don’t think the term “intranet” came into general usage until about 1995 or shortly before, giving a date to some of these notes.

  • Kathy

    The map says “activity minimal during lockdown and restocking procedures” in lower right hand corner, so maybe that explains why the lockdown occurred… the parachute with the food was coming down. The announcement came, the lockdown occurred, the food was dropped. Why is a lockdown needed during the food drop? What activity is minimal?

  • Fez Boy

    Just reading the clearified map.
    First of all, the Magnus Hanso reference in relation to the Black Rock (about halfway between centre and bottom-right corner). Danielle had a team. Could it be that Magnus was part of her team, and was killed? Possibly. It says “Final resting place.” Therefore, if Magnus was on the team, and was killed, that means that The Cartographer knew that. How could he know that? The two options are: The Cartographer is spying on the whole island, possibly through Cerberus (see below), or that The Cartographer asked Danielle.
    Secondly, Cerberus itself (Upper left-hand side). If Cerberus refers to our monster made of black smoke (incidentally Cerberus was also the guard of Hades in Greek Mythology), this would mean that our monster was created on the island by “the Cerberus station,” abandoned in 1985 because of “AH/MDG incident” OR “Possible catastrophic malfunction of the Cerberus system.” Seeing as Smokey gets his kicks by dragging people through the undergrowth, this would make sense.
    You see the blue lines in the actual map bit? Look like underground tunnels. At the end of Season 1, Locke was dragged nearly down a hole, and saved when Kate threw dynamite down there. It would also explain how Cerberus gets around without being seen, ripping up trees in his wake. Cerberus uses the tunnel network and likes to drag people down there, presumably to one of the stations or to the enigmatic centre bit.
    Next, we shall turn our attention to that bit when Walt communicated with Michael using the hatch computers. We know Walt was taken by Mr. Friendly, who is supposedly hanging out in “The Staff.” The Cartographer writes about “Dharmatel,” with terms such as “Relays,” “intranet,” “servers,” “hubs” and “cabling.” It sounds like Dharmatel is a communication network between all the hatches, connected by the computers. The computer in the hatch (The Swan) is meant to be used for transmitting the numbers through Dharmatel to an unknown location, but presumably it can be used for other purposes, such as communication, as demonstrated by Walt.
    There are many references to the D.I.H.G. dotted around the map. Obviously the first two letters stand for Dharma Initiative. There are notes about various research subjects, such as the obvious one in the bottom-right about bio-engineering Ursis Maritimus, also known as the common polar bear. Also notes about Weather Activity and Meteorology. Seemingly our DIHG are researchers. Couple this with the names of the known hatches: The Swan, The Flame, The Staff, The Arrow. There are other hatches as well. All of these hatches have notes by them. By “The Swan” there are notes about Dharmatel and a note saying “possible resting place for DIHG Staff”. “The Staff” is used, as we know, for medical research. There are notes about Cerberus around “The Flame.” Perhaps this was where Cerberus was researched and created? This leads me to believe that the other hatches were created for seperate purposes. The Swan was a general base, store and recuperation place. The Flame was where Cerberus was created, for purposes unkown to us. The Staff was the infirmary and was possibly also used for medical research. C4, “The pearl?” I believe was the zoological engineering centre, where the polar bears encountered by flight 815 escaped from. C3 is surrounded by notes about meteorology and weather examination, this could be the meteorological station. Just above, out of sight, is “The Arrow.” I can’t see any notes, so I don’t know what this does.
    I notice just at the left edge of the blue octangle is a note saying “estimated travel time incompatible with 108, do not attempt to survey.” 108 is the number on the timer. This statement basically means “it’ll take more than 108 minutes to get here and back, so don’t try or the alarm will miss.” This indicates that the Cartographer drew this map after Dharma’s withdrawal, and who was made to operate The Swan alone. Could it have been Desmond? Could it have been his predecessor, Kelvin?
    I have far too much spare time.

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