Help Britney plot her next move

151447__willandgrace_lBritney Spears’ guest spot on Will & Grace tonight is just the first step in a months-long comeback campaign, according to USA Today (which mulls her long-term career prospects here and here and offers a preview clip from the episode here). Of course, there’s no such thing as a comeback if you never go away. Even in supposed periods of downtime (vacation, maternity leave), Spears is always on the job, the job of being Britney Spears. She’s always putting out her product, which is herself, not just an occasional CD or a TV acting gig. Whether or not Brit is funny tonight is less important than the fact that she’s visible.

By that standard, anything she does that keeps her name on people’s lips or her photo in Us Weekly is a smart career move. Still, we at PopWatch worry that she may be running out of ways to keep visible; there are only so many times you can drive around without a child car seat. So let’s offer her some helpful suggestions:

-Make a Quizno’s commercial with Sean Preston (they like babies, right?).

-Run for governor of California on an immigration platform: no more alumni of The Mickey Mouse Club will be allowed to enter the state.

-Make out with Ryan Seacrest.

-Be a good sport and attend the Brooklyn gallery opening for that sculpture.

-Start hanging out with Wilmer Valderrama — he seems to attract some attention.

-Ask Michael Moore if you can make a return appearance in his next documentary.

-Be seen having dinner with Nick Lachey.

-Divorce Kevin, then record a duet of ”Sisters Are Doin’ It for Themselves” with Shar Jackson.

-Name your next kid Asparagus Spears.

-Be a guest judge on an American Idol night devoted to your catalogue. (Because we all want to hear Chris Daughtry cover ”Toxic.”) Take Kellie Pickler under your wing and corrupt her.

Any other suggestions?

addCredit(“WILL & GRACE: Chris Haston”)


Comments (51 total) Add your comment
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  • mike

    Here’s a wacky idea: make a good record. It will make her career last longer than a photoshoot of white trash at home with K-fed and the kid.

  • Alan

    Go away? Just kidding. Love ya Brit! Smooches to your pooches

  • justin

    she needs a great comeback cd…like Madonna’s “Confessions”…….anyone who has hear Brit’s “And Then We Kiss” can see that dance/electronica is her best route….cant wait to see Will and Grace 2nite….either way she will be fine, she always is…I love me some Britney!!

  • brandonk

    Let’s just accept that Chris Daughtry isn’t going to cover “Toxic” and move on, shall we?

  • tim

    She should appear as an “Other” on Lost – that’s the only way I’d watch or listen to anything having to do with her…
    Here’s a recap of last night’s LOST episode if you’re interested:

    http://peopleofpaper.blogspot.com/2006/03/lost-recap_30.html

  • Charlie

    Oooh! She should get talent and learn how to use it! No one will ever see that coming.

  • Ep Sato

    Dunp K-Fed and marry an unkown Latino dancer. It worked for Madonna and J.lo (though I feel bad for them hermanos who got their hopes up only to get dumped soon after…).

  • shakkahop

    first off, she won’t do anything- her creator’s will. they have too much time and energy and money invested in this pop queen created by record labels and the like. they have pumped cash out of her like her sons feeding time. therefore, when they and she are truly ready to unleash her to the world again in full swing you can count on kfed being remade or brushed away and the devoted mom image and super sex star being reborn.
    also, a funny satire of her poking fun at a jessica simpson type (clearly done in this evening) is a start to showing what a sense of humor she has. we all love super sexy mom’s with sense of humors. simpson has taken spears’ crown, but spears returns as a more mature sex symbol. something simpson can never be.

  • Tim Lade

    Move out of a trailer and stop being such white trash.

  • dmac

    Well I Do Believe That Britney Spears Can Sing, I Mean The Mickey Mouse Club Did Have An Eye For Singing Ability And Talent ALA Christina, And Justin, And Jessica Who Was Cut From The Final Group.. So With That Said.. Even Tho She Can Technically Sing A Lot Better Than Most Of Us, I Doubt People Want Her To SING Much Of Anything.. They Want Her To Entertain!!!!! Be A Superstar. So She Should Think Of Which Songs Were Here Greatest Hits, Hire Top Producers In The Business, And Sculpt A Pristine CD That The Public Will Eat Up Like Chicken Selects. If That Doesnt Work She Could Always Write Childrens Books.

  • Angela

    Comeback? I still waiting for the day she goes AWAY! I don’t mind her music, but other than putting out new albums I think she should divorce her husband, drop out of sight, and go do humanitarian work in some third world country.

  • Jill

    She just needs to go away. The public loves to hate her right now. The magazine with her looking fat sells far more than one with her looking semi-normal. I think that everyone has seen the “real” Britney, and won’t be so easily fooled by airbrushing and hair extensions.
    How can anyone be a fan after seeing a minute of “Chaotic”? She seems very spoiled and tacky.

  • Josh

    Well aint it jus so easy for all of us to sit back and critize her and what shes doing! I dont kno her personally but im sure she is trying her best to make the right decisions, maybe if people who have no clue what there talking about would give her a chance then they could all see this. I mean she is a multi-billionare so she must be doing SOMTHING right!

  • Ep Sato

    Like using a spell checker every now and then, right?

  • Kimberly

    Personally, I think the reason Britney is still in the public eye is because so many men still endlessly lust after her, no matter how crappy she looks these days. This girl could walk around covered in fescies, and she would still be the sexiest woman on the planet to the heterosexual male population! I kind of feel sorry for Kelly Clarkson, Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton and all these really TALENTED women artists who are still overshadowed by Britney’s publicity stunts and wacky behavior! Because of this, Britney makes headlines for just walking into a supermarket. Sure, these other women have talent and stamina….but, in reality, the sad fact is that we live in a man’s world, and men still fancy Britney Spears, and she’s the one they want to see.

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