Tyra Banks, unrepentant sadist? Who knew? Not me, at least not until last night’s eeee-vil Vivienne Westwood footwear runway challenge, during which the contestants had to walk the plank wearing the most twisted platform heels I’ve ever seen, all under the hawk-like eyes of the judging panel. For a second, I was expecting Joe Rogan to pop onto the set and tell me I was watching a special, skinny-girls edition of Fear Factor. Which, of course, isn’t to say I didn’t get a sadistic thrill watching Bratz doll Kari, with her unfortunate soccer-mom hair, start things off by tumbling once, twice, then thrice, during the competition. But by the time my favorite contestant, gizzorgeous, hilarious Danielle (pictured) went splat and sprained her little toe (forcing her to end the episode on crutches!), I was heated! All right, Tyra, Twiggy, and Miss J, let’s see you ladies negotiate such hellacious terrain. Well?
That wasn’t the only Mean Girls moment, either. How ’bout the Jared Gold runway show, during which the model wannabes had to strut their stuff while adorned with giant, living Madagascar hissing cockroaches (encrusted with crystals, natch)? Or that moment when Nigel Barker told Kari she needed to ”tone it up” — minutes before eliminating her from the show? At least the kid got in a memorable quote about the garish styling she endured during the Gold event: ”Our makeup is black eyes, rosy cheeks — almost like a hooker from back in, you know, old hooker times.”
Even this week’s photo shoot, which featured the ladies dressed as fairy-tale heroines and falling off daises, looked fairly painful — but at least it separated the pretenders from the contenders. Nnenna didn’t rock as hard as the last two shoots, but she proved she absorbs constructive criticism the way Special K absorbs milk. (Sorry, had to work in this week’s product placement.) And quiet Joanie proved she’s got ferocity to spare on the runway and in front of the camera. Still, when it comes to flawless photos and memorable soundbites, Danielle is this season’s clear front-runner. The way she kept her neck and head perpendicular to the ground while hurling herself onto a mattress was almost as winning as her observation about staying in character: ”I felt like Snow White or, sorry, Snow Black.”
I know who’s getting my vote for Cover Girl of the week. How about you?
i was seriously disappointed to see Kari go home. i watched the show with three friends and we ALL were like “huh–what!?” when Gina got picked over Kari. it was like, with two solid photos, one of the most interesting girls there had a rough time walking and they cut her in favor of keeping stupid, whining Gina, who hasn’t taken a single good-looking frame yet. it was just weird and wrong and it made me definitely hate Tyra a little bit.
The thing is, it’s pretty obvious who’s NOT going to win, and Kari and Gina are (were) just not contenders. If it wasn’t Gina this week, then it will be next week – she’s just not very special looking. And as for Kari, a very sweet girl, but if they’re telling her to tone it up, she’s just not going to be ‘America’s next top model.’
OH god Danielle is hilarious! If she doesn’t win, she should consider taking acting roles that require physical comedy. I mean, even if both those near-falls hurt, they were done with a fun aura of wackiness. As Danielle herself would say, “She’s hella funny”
danielle’s pic was awesome. i still don’t see a winner but the losers are standing out more…
ANTM or Tyra’s Show!
The stiletto challenge was brutal. BRUTAL.
Michael – Your writing is so cutting edge – you’re coverage is better than the show!!!!!
what i wanna know is – how the heck did Furonda even get into this competition? Girlfriend is fugly. (Oh, and i LOVE Danielle. Gorgeous and cool.)
Tyra has been evil to me from the very beginning when my cycle one fave Elyse got ousted, again when they eliminated April in cycle two, cycle three’s Shandi, four’s Kahlen, and yes cycle five’s Jayla. Now Kari, who had far better photos than Gina. Gina had terrible photos, that annoying confidence problem, and come on, her walk was not that great. Kari had two great photos, she just needed more runway practice with Ms. Jay. Why do you do this you she-devil Tyra Banks?
I think this might be the best season ever. I’m still enamored by Mollie. I just love her look, but she needs to step it up and show some personality. I think Danielle and Nnenna are the other two front runners, but Nnenna risks fading into the background because she’s shy and doesn’t put herself out there. And let’s not get it twisted – Jade may be crazy, she was fierce this week!
I thought for sure Gina would go over Kari. Gina is ugly–don’t even know how she got in the house.
I think it was really mean to make the girls walk in those shoes. Tyra could at least have waited a few weeks until the girls had more runway practice.
Dani is moving to the top of my list. I hope she can continue.
Jade was awful for taunting Gina, but Gina was too over the top. She needs to go.
I also was shocked when they sent Kari home. She may not be ANTM, but she’s light years better than Gina. How has Gina escaped elimination so far? Didn’t they say far worse things about her than they did about Kari in the judges’ deliberation?
Meanwhile – Seriously, Danielle? I’ve not just sprained but BROKEN my little toe on multiple occasions, and I’ve never been on crutches. Get some frickin’ athletic tape and suck it up!
I’m with Justine — Fugly Furonda looks like a stick insect. Nnenna just doesn’t do it for me, too blah (and i’m gettin’ a little tired of her Tale of Woe). I think they kept Gina hoping that she would take it to Jade (which she seems to, in her own sad, dumb way, next week). Jade’s problem is not that she’s a b*tch (which she is), it’s that she’s OLD for a model. And looks it. My money’s on Brooke, with Danielle as the runner-up. And p.s. can Nicole be ANY MORE WOODEN in her CoverGirl commercials???!
Yes. She could be Naima.
I love Mollie Sue and Danielle. Mollie Sue is just gorgeous and though Mr. Jay didn’t mean it as such a bad thing, I agree with him when he said, “I guess I wouldn’t work so hard either if I looked like you.” He meant it as critisism but he was also giving her a compliment. All she has to do is show who she is. Danielle has looks and personality to spare. And I still love the strange look that is Brooke.
i’m glad that angelina jolie blow-up doll kari is gone, but over that sad trainwreck of a girl gina?!
i haven’t the foggiest idea how she got through in the first place…