Dear Moana,
I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t disappointed to see you break down in tears on last night’s edition of The Bachelor, but at least for the first few episodes, you tried to conduct yourself with some self-respect. In your defense, even the toughest of cookies might’ve crumbled under the same hellish conditions: isolated in a foreign country, surrounded by a pack of jealous, desperate she-beasts (like drunken Tara and plastic Susan) who seem to get far more animated when they’re ganging up on you than they do during their dates with Travis.
What was your crime again, Moana? Oh, that’s right, failing to declare your love for a man you’ve been dating for less than two weeks, the same man who’s simultaneously courting at least five other women. If this is the framework for a ”fairy tale romance,” as your fellow Bachelorettes keep calling it, then what’s Jame Gumb’s basement pit in Silence of the Lambs? A relaxing day spa?
I don’t know what infuriated me more, that Travis brought back booted Jen and Shiloh to choose which remaining women would get individual dates, or seeing these same bitter hyenas tag-team you — ”You’re not nervous at all?” ”You absolutely should be.” — without ever acknowledging how jealous they were that you’d outlasted them in the competition.
How I wish you’d gotten up and left the room rather than spilling your guts to them! You should’ve realized no man is worth such misery — certainly not one who travels to Paris to fall in love, then admits he doesn’t even like French food. Mon dieu! Sure, he’s a doctor with a washboard stomach, but he’s only got one adjective (”amazing”) in his repertoire. (Sort of like Jehan, who’s similarly obsessed with the word ”awesome.”) And he’s about as emotionally developed as a wedge of Brie. Too bad you didn’t hear his to-the-camera confessional: ”I’m just gonna base the next rose ceremony on what I’m feeling. Because, at this point, feelings I think are the most important thing.”
See what I mean? Seriously, it’s not too late to pack your bags (and your dignity) and get the heck out of the reality game. It’d be, like, awesome and amazing if you did.
Wishing you the best,
Michael Slezak
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I lost count of the “Awesomes and Amazings” after the first 15 minutes. How about the “You Guys’es”. When is ABC going to bury this show? Of course we are still watching and I always hate myself in the morning, until I read the Popwatch – then I don’t feel so bad!!
I LOVE MOANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE’S FABULOUS!!!!!!!!!!
I don’t dislike Moana, but it’s not just that she doesn’t declare undying love. It’s that she says things like “she’s not Travis’ type” and the like and acts totally disinterested and them monopolizes him. Now, I think the other girls were totally off-base in what they did to her on last night’s episode. You never gossip about someone like that, and how dare they not apologize. But I can understand them being frustrated at what appears to be her duplicity. Which is the real Moana?
I admit it, I’m an addict to The Bachelor. I’m glad at least one other person is watching. Kelly Ripa ragged on it this morning too. She makes fun of how they are always drunk. If the previews aren’t too misleading, I think the at home visits might be good. I love the Mom who said “how do you know THEY aren’t acting?” ‘-)
Moana, how could you let the sorority sisters do that to you? Michael was absolutely correct in that they expend more energy trashing you than actually going for Travis and then fault you for saying that you’re not Travis’s type. For the bubbleheaded, that doesn’t mean she doesn’t like him, it just means that she’s observant enough to see that she is not his typical date and it certainly doesn’t mean she’s not interested. It just means that she has some composure and discretion, 2 admirable qualities. Why trash her for going for him in plain view rather than backstabbing like the rest? I hope she wins but I’m sure Travis will pick someone vacuous and vapid like Pageant Queen Susan or Self-Righteous Sarah from TN. Drunk Girl’s parting shot at Moana was just idiotic and if he has half a brain he’d dismiss it. BUT of course…
This is reality?
Sorry, it is pretty good entertainment though.
Wonder who’s mom knows it’s acting.
Hey, did anyone else notice how the producers tried to trick everyone with the previews of the upcoming rose ceremony? They showed it about a million times, and every time, it looked like the back of Tara’s head, but she was holding a rose as she whispered “Someone here is trying to fool you”!!! Tara didn’t get a rose last night, so they obviously showed video that didn’t match with the audio. I’m sure they do it alot, but it’s very annoying when it’s so obvious.
Dear Doctor:
Do you take Oxford?
I love Moana! Those other girls are horrible, and Moana is the only normal, real girl there. The other girls should be ashamed of themselves for acting like a bunch of jealous middleschoolers and going w/the herd mentality to just gang up on her. I don’t know if she’d be a “winner” to end up w/Travis–he seems pretty dull–but it’d be nice to shove it in the faces of all those crazy girls if Moana won.
Thank you! Everything you just wrote was right on! From how sad it was to watch Moana lose that indifference and mystery that made her so respectable to the annoying “awesomes” and “amazings”. It is so nice to know others are thinking the same things. I thought I must be the only one who loves Moana!
Hmmmm. But wait a minute…Is Moana’s tears all an act? If so, WHAT BRILLIANT STRATEGY!!!!
My husband and I are going to do the “Amazing” drinking game from now on. We will have to stick to beer though, because if you drank a shot of liquor every time one of them said “amazing”, you’d end up with alcohol poisoning. Maybe Tara was actually just playing that the whole time!
Is Sarah from Canada on drugs? She seems consistantly “High”. She doesn’t seem to be able to say a full sentence.
At first I thought “Oh Travis”, but 5 minutes later I realized that there is a reason why that guy doesn’t have a girl-friend. He is boring and very typical. Also, he obviously thinks too much of himself, I am not sure why that is. This is a reality show and he might be absolutely great without cameras and crazy, drunk women running around him, but we will never know.
I am a total Bachelor junkie. I think Moana is great! With the attitude and all. I hope he choses you at the end and I hope you dont accept it so that he poor boring ego is crushed and all the other airheads will be a crushed…..
I really hope Moana gets picked at the end, but declines his proposal. She is the most real and sober of them all. Not only is she pretty, but she goes after what she thinks she wants. And she is right: she’s not there to make the other girls like her. What the other girls are feeling is jealousy and envy, rather than dislike. Sarah seems high all the time; Susan seems fake; and Sarah from TN is more stiff than a log (and do her eyes remind anyone of the run away bride?).
I noticed the drunken classless behavior on the first episode. I’m sure that Susan’s Mom was so proud to hear on national television that her daughter likes to get her hair pulled while having sex….charming.
Moana is the only “REAL” person on this show and who the hell do those two jealous idiots think they are attacking her like that last night? Their nasty personalities are making them look very unattractive. This group of girls reminds me of the very reasons why most of my friends are men. This is a very sad and inaccurate presentation of the American woman and I can only hope that the caliber of contestant on these shows goes up as a result of this season.
Love Moana – as she’s also one of the only ones over legal age. Why has Travis chosen two 20 year olds (at least one of them still a student) as his potential mates? Real mature.
i didn’t like moana at first but now i love her! i think she is one of the most down to earth girls on the show, and hes stupid for not dumping tara from the start. she was such a bitch and just jealous of all the other girls, how many times did she say “our boyfriends hereeeee”ugh. the bachelor seems like a nice guy but he said the SAME THING to every girl on their individual dates! at first i thought, there has to be a reason why hes on this show and hes 33, but then again maybe he hasn’t found “the one” and maybe he still won’t….maybe moana should deny the last rose!
Yes, Sarah from TN does have the same eyes of the run away bride. I thought Sarah looked familiar!!
Poor Tara my heart was breaking for her – NOT – now she can go back to her career in retail sales; i.e. cashier at Pac Sun and go drinking everynight with her peeps. There’s someone out there for you sweetie.
I had to laugh last nigh when Dr Dork came to the house unannounced and they pulled out giant bottles of water – at least I assumed it was water. Maybe they try to hydrate during the day so they can suck up at night.
LOL – the runaway bride – Sherie, you nailed it. She’s totally her twin. And I’m not sure if it was such a “big compliment” when he said that he was wrong about her when he thought she had no depth the firt time he met her. I would have craked him one if he said that to me – he ought to look at himself on this show if he thinks anyone lacks depth!! Love it.
Go Moana!!! I think you are a breath of fresh air! The other women have lost a sense of who they are because of a guy that they all have “fallen in love” with over a few days. Come on! I admire you for sticking your ground and not becoming another one of those girls. You’re being you and that’s why you’re great! Don’t let the others get to you, you’re better then them.
Best of luck!
Okay, I am a huge fan of the show…mainly because it is funny. But these women have seen the show, they know how it will end. So if they get their feelings hurt it is because they chose to take the chance. I can not feel badly for someone who has shown no interest in the Dr. up until now. She is playing the game just like everyone else! It is an act…they are all in on it.
this show is exactly that…A SHOW! everyone is fake. Moana tries to be real, but i can tell that she is a complete mess…how can i tell? because she went from being strong and dignified to a complete mess just because two bimbo’s challenged her. and it’s SO ANNOYING when someone whines “i don’t want to share him” THEN DON’T GO ON THE FRIGGEN’ SHOW YOU STUPID IDIOT!!!!. am i right!!! of course i am. that’s why i met my husband on a regular date with no cameras, cuz i’m normal!!! hahahahahahahahahaha. k, not that funny, but i’m still right!!!!!!!!
Monana is ok except for when she hids in the room when travis comes to visit because she wants travis to come find her to pay attention to her.
Monana is ok except for when she hids in the room when travis comes to visit because she wants travis to come find her to pay attention to her.
OMG, I too am hopelessly addicted but how boring has this show become?! And what’s up with a Moana trashing. How true the comment that they were like a bunch of “jealous middleschoolers”, it was quite pathetic. What does that say for them, and him should he pick on of them. I agree she shouldn’t have let them get her goat… they are truly jealous. And if he let a girl go just because she had been married before?! That’s so judgmental. Ok enough
The only one I like is Sarah from Canada. The queit one. I would be willing to bet he’s going to pick her. They really seem have a connection. Its interesting to see so many brainless girls chasing after this guy. Frankly I don’t like him. There’s something strange about him.
THE TRUTH…..TRAVIS SHOULD PICK SUSAN…..SHES THE HOTTEST AND THE OTHERS ARE ALL USELESS….ON ANOTHER NOTE…DID ANYONE SEE THE FLAVOR OF LOVE….FLAVA FLAVVVVVVV…YOOOO HOOPZZZZZ GO GET YOUR CLOCKKKK.,….YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IZZZZZZZZ!!!!!
Moana, I don’t know if you have won yet? But I am diggin what you are puttin down girl!!! Believe me they like it that way. That’s why he keeps sayin there’s something mysterious and sexy about her. The unknown is always sensually captivating. As far as the jealous, envies and dummies, please ignore. They know what you have and should be afraid….very afraid.