If you’re going to win the game, it helps to have a strategy — even (or perhaps especially) when you’re one of the women desperately seeking an engagement ring from chiseled E.R. doctor Travis Stork on ABC’s fading reality franchise, The Bachelor: Paris. Here’s the adjectives I’d use to describe the battle plans being employed by the show’s six remaining Bachelorettes, and whether or not I think said tactics will prove effective:
EARNEST "Ohmigod, I completely agree with you!" enthused self-described ”smitten kitten” Susan, after Travis explained he’s the kind of guy who never wants to go through a divorce. Apparently, this is the kind of sentiment Travis finds ”deep,” not to mention attractive, as he planted the season’s first kiss on the aspiring actress. Whatever, buddy, it’s your party.
LUSTY For three episodes running, Sarah B., has been angling to get her Canadian tongue in Travis’ mouth, and on this week’s camping trip, she finally, um, tasted victory. Still, her poorly masked jealousy of the other women could prove the kiss of death.
ALOOF Did I mention Moana is my favorite Bachelorette ever? How can you not love the way her calculated ambivalence drives Travis wild, while driving her fellow competitors into a white-hot rage?
INDIGNANT How come every season some sad-sack single starts kvetching that not everyone’s on the show for ”the right reasons”? Like Sarah S., for example, who seems more focused on hating Moana than falling in love with Travis. Check out her reaction to finding out Moana brought a cup of morning coffee to Travis’ bedroom: ”What a bitch! That might be the meanest thing she’s done this whole trip." I bet the parents of Sarah S.’s kindergarten class would agree.
DRUNK There’s no way Tara (pictured) is ever gonna get a ring, but God bless her cocktail-lovin’ heart for slurring ”Cheers to that!” as Travis removed his shirt and revealed a set of abs that had me regretting the dollop of sour cream I added to my turkey chili.
NONDESCRIPT Wait, there is a sixth chick still on this show, isn’t there?
So. PopWatchers, which Bachelorette’s game do you respect most (if at all)? And who do you think will ultimately win Travis’ heart?