Who says Heidi, Nina, and Kors get to be the only one deciding who’s in or out? Here’s my take on the winners and losers of the Barbie competition:
Granted, Nick (left) deserved to win this week’s competition. But what about Santino? His dress was certainly worthy too. I’m beginning to think his argument that they don’t want to award the same person too often too quickly is right. Not to dis Nick. They both used bright colors that jumped off the runway, making the models indeed look like walking dolls. I likey. (How many more contests before Santino starts yelling at the judges for not crowning him winner? That evil glance he flashed before heading backstage was wonderfully ominous.)
I’m really beginning to dislike this Andrae guy. I don’t buy Tim Gunn’s speculation that his emotional meltdown was contrived — because, of course, Andrae is just plain crazy. His steady gaze is, like, Heaven’s Gate-freaky. To quote Top Model‘s "Miss" J. Alexander: "Girl, look like she on crack!"
But back to Andrae’s horrid dress. It looked like his model was wearing a hot-air balloon. I was afraid she would float off the runway at any moment. Also, why did Andrae refuse to use the blond Barbie wig on his model? (Was it because she’s black? Hmmm.) I think waging a ethno-political battle on Barbie is one waged in vain. She’s the model of the Aryan race. If you’re gonna agree to play the game, then you’ve already lost.
I must also give credit to the judges for providing the priceless chant "Lighten up! Lighten up!" I thought Andrae’s eyes were gonna explode. (Reminded me of Tod Browning’s Freaks: "One of us! One of us!")
Regardless, Raymundo "I’m young, have balls of steel" Baltazar was a fitting loser. Oversized sunglasses alone do not a surfer chick make. And what’s with his hair? He looks like a turquoise skunk. Scary sideburns too. Anyhow, back to the dress. Leave it to Michael Kors to sum up Raymundo’s "Halloween tablecloth" dress best: "Barefoot Appalachian Li’l Abner Barbie"
Does anyone have any idea what that means? Who cares?! Funniest thing ever!
How do you think the competition is shaping up? Any favorites yet?
addCredit(“Nick Verreos: Virginia Sherwood”)