Apparently, viewers of the Box, a British cable network, are blind when it comes to music videos, since they voted Lionel Richie’s ”Hello” (left) as the worst clip of all time. I’d be totally defending the riveting tale of Prof. Richie wooing a sight-impaired sculptress, but our friends at Stereogum have done one better, concocting a high-larious storyboard (scroll down). While the poll’s runner-up, ”Ebony and Ivory,” is pretty abysmal, it’s nowhere near as bad as Chaka Khan’s ”I Feel for You,” or R. Kelly’s ”Thoia Thong,” or Don Johnson’s ”Heartbeat,” or even Debbie Gibson’s ”Electric Youth.”
What’s your pick for the worst video ever? Holla back!
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I don’t remember the name of the song, but Philip Michael Thomas of “Miami Vice” fame (infamy?) had a video out in the 80’s that was the most God-Aweful thing I have ever seen in my entire life.
Hello is absolutely the worst video ever! But Eddie Murphy’s ‘Party All the Time’ has got to be a close second!
Worst video? anything with Vanilla Ice. Although if Kevin Federline makes a video, that will take the top spot.
Congrats to our British cousins for naming the worst video of all time. I was a Lionel Richie fan due to his work with the Commodores until that video came out. It along with Dancing on the Ceiling made me lose all respect for the man (along with getting beat up by his wife).
My vote goes to a more recent video I unfortunately got a glimps of while getting dressed for work (damn my roommate for being a channel flipper!!!) – it’s country song that actually has the lines “Honky tonk ba-donka donk” – no lie! It’s like Toby Keith and Tyra Banks sat down at the Ivey one weekend and decided to write a tune together. I honestly can’t say how bad the video is cause I was in such a state of shock – my ears and brain were feeling so completely violated – but it certainly confirms to me that country music can be so completely lame.
OMG, the Electric Youth video was so hilarious. When Debbie GIbson changed through the years towards the end. Classic.
This only makes me wish that they would DVD MTV’s 25 lamest videos hosted by Janeane Garafalo, Jon Stewart, Chris Kattan, and someone else who’s name escapes me. Does anyone remember that? The best thing ever on MTV.
VANILLA! CHILL OUT!
“Maneater” by Hall & Oates or maybe “Rico Suave” by Gerardo or “Illegal Alien” by Genesis.
Bad was the worst video, how can you take Michael Jackson prancing around trying to act tough seriously. And yes, I know Scorsese directed it, but it was a ridiculous idea that even he couldn’t save.
Paula Cole’s “I Don’t Want to Wait.” It’s a good thing the song became associated with Dawson’s Creek, because the video alone . . . gah. I actually shivered with embarassment.
This one is easy: ROCK ME TONITE by Billy Squier. That video single-handedly destroyed his career.
The other person who co-hosted the MTV “100 Lame” was Denis Leary. Absolutely hysterical.
I have to vote for Heartbeat. The lyrics are stupid, Don’s voice was passable, but, his ego and the story were unintentionally funny. He was a photojournalist in some Central/South American jungle. He avoided the rebels and romanced some sinorita. Somehow, Paul Schaefer was his film editor. Uggh
best worst video is ‘love is a battlefield.’
Pump up the Jam. I think they had a 20$ budget to do the whole thing.
For Chris who asked below about Philip Michael Thomas, the song was called “Just the Way I Planned it”, which featured an abundance of strobe lights, strangely made-up women, and PMT’s hairy chest. Ewww!
As for my vote, the worst video still has to be “Looks That Kill” by Motley Crue. Pul-leeze!
I love the group, but how about “All That She Wants”, “The Sign,” “Don’t Turn Around” or “Beautiful Life” from Ace of Base? I love that bad, but their videos were never great!
The one hit wonder “because I got high” can’t remember the person’s name but boy was that AWEFUL!
Sorry Ken, but I loved the “Rock Me Tonight” video by Billy Squire – my and all my friends used to stay up all night waiting to see it (we were in high school) because the pants he was wearing showcased his goodies and left absolutely NOTHING to the imagination. Rock me tonight indeed!
Anybody remember the Super Bowl Shuffle c/o the Chicago Bears in ‘85? Looked like a tape of them on American Bandstand! Suppossedly some football players take dancing/ballet lessons to help w/balance. Obviously it wasn’t these guys!
Oh, c’mon. There are worse videos than “Hello,” they just aren’t as widely seen. What about the Guns ‘n Roses one where Axl swam with the dolphins, or “High Enough” by Damn Yankees, or “Smooth Up in Ya” by I forget who, or “Me So Horny” by 2 Live Crew?
My vote goes to “Rub in the Right Way” by Johnny Gill. Mostly for the giant JGs strewn all over the set.
How about anything by Wilson Phillips?
Paula Abdul’s “Rush, Rush” video with the “Rebel Without a Cause” plot was horrible. What makes it extra hideous is that you can tell they spent money making it.
Thanks to this blog, I have had “Heartbeat” in my head all day!!!
Hello people! What about:
“You’re Gonna Get Rocked!” by Latoya Jackson featuring Full Force (yes there was a video)
“Heart Attack” by Olivia Newton-John (sweet singer, bad video)
“Have You Seen Her” by MC Hammer (isn’t that the one where he’s in his thong? Yuck)
“Sometimes” by Britney (pretentious crap)
“I Think We’re Alone Now” by Tiffany (malls, Gumby and those acid wash jeans = video hell!)
There are just too many!
Heartbeat – Don Johnson
Say Say Say – Michael & Paul
Ebony & I vory – Stevie & Paul
That’s What Friends are For – all four
Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby
the Macarena
We Built This City – Starship
Caught Up – Usher
Rock My World – MJ
Luke – Me So Horny
“Tarzan Boy” by Baltimora. Have you ever seen that thing? It looks like they were trying out every single special effect that came with their fancy new editing suite.
You guys are all picking songs that stink to begin with. I, on the other hand, nominate a video for a song that I adore–”Winter”, by Tori Amos. A beautiful song ruined by one of the crappiest videos ever made. None of the videos for the songs off her debut album are any good, but “Winter” takes the cake. I love that song so much, and when I got the cassette I thought I was in for a real treat. Wrong-ola! I watched that video one time and never looked at it again.
Hello is an absolute winner. Watching VH1 Classic for some time can definitely give you some ideas for worst videos. I coincidentally saw We Built This City by Starship today, and nominated it even before I knew about this list. They should’ve saved those few bucks that were spent on that Tiffany video in the mall. And Go West by the Pet Shop Boys annoys the hell out of me.
Besides those, I think every Eurodance video is crap, but I think you guys in the States are lucky enough not to see those around too much.
To this day I love Deborah Gibson, but the “Electric Youth” video was atrocious even for its time. I remember her hyping it as a “Thriller”-type video. Only in your…eh, you know.