Reviewing the Reviews: 'Aeon Flux'

971__aeon_l_1Hey, wait a second: Where the heck are all the reviews of Aeon Flux?

What’s that? The week’s only new feature in wide release wasn’t screened for critics? Well that’s never a good sign.

And anyhow, what am I supposed to do? I’ve got bills to pay, a blog to fill. I guess all I can do is suggest some unfair, pre-emptive headlines for the inevitable onslaught of pans that await the big-screen adaptation of MTV’s cult animated series, starring Oscar winner Charlize Theron. Here goes:

‘Aeon’ Sucks?
‘Aeon’? Yuck!
‘Aeon’ for effort, but an ‘F’ for the end product
‘Aeon’ mucks up Theron’s string of winners
Heroine bleak
Span-dex the halls
Cartoon ‘Aeon’ was more three-dimensional
Crazy like a ‘Flux’
Charlize went to the Oscars, and all we got was this stupid movie

Alrighty, folks, help a blogger out: Somebody’s got to be able to top my paltry puns. Give it your best shot and try you hand at an Aeon Flux headline. Holla back!

addCredit(“Aeon Flux: Paramount Pictures”)


Comments (26 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2
  • Brandon

    ‘Flux’ capacitor holds little charge

  • Christopher

    What the… Flux?
    More like “Weekend Screwed”

  • Keith

    CNN’s Aeon Headline?
    “Acid re-Flux”

  • Tommy G

    I laughed out loud at “Heroin Bleak” – way to go, Michael.
    Otherwise, how about:
    “The Flux Stops Here.”
    “Hicks Nix Flux Bucks”
    “Aeon? Who gives a Flux?”

  • Sarah C

    -As pleasant as acid re’Flux’
    -Get the ‘Flux’ out
    -‘Aeon': indefinitely long period of crap

  • Chris McBrien

    “Yawn” Flux

  • Thad

    Non Flux
    Empty Flux
    Under Fluxed
    Fau Fluxed
    So So Flux

  • Kirkjn

    ‘Aeon’ Flunks
    The Matrix – Washowskis = Aeon Flux
    Skip Movie, Catch ‘Aeon’ Basic Cable
    Faux Flux Sucks

  • Ben

    “Aeon” flummoxed
    Who the “Flux” greenlighted this?
    Fans waited Aeon’s only to be Fluxed over
    At least Charlize still looks hot! (I’d like to see this one in the New York Times haha)
    T&A still can’t save the Flux flop

  • Ted

    Limited ‘Flux’ Capacity

  • Mike P

    Flashing Aeon Sign Says ‘Do Not Enter’
    The Future…Maybe Pictured from Aeons Past
    It’s Broke, But Don’t Flux It

  • Jonathan

    Hey, wait a minute. I just saw the Aeon Flux in a matinee, and it’s quite good. Ok, it’s not Star Wars, but if that’s the standard you expect then just forget about watching science fiction altogether.
    Aeon Flux is a good, solid sci-fi film with a decent, if lightweight, premise. It also has a great cast, with Frances McDormand and Pete Postlethwaite, not to mention the divine Charlize.
    Go watch the movie without any preconceived sound bites and you’ll enjoy it.

  • Geoffrey

    I went to midnight screening at Kips Bay last night. SUPER high security- they impounded all cell phones with cameras, frisked everyone, checked all bags, used wand metal detectors, and then security stalked the theater during the movie with nightvision goggles. All for a terrible movie that was being released on 3000 screens in a few hours???

  • Beth

    “Aeon” flux up

  • me

    Aeon Flux sux

Page: 1 2
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