Listen: It's Paris Hilton singing!

14207__ph_lIt would be too easy to ridicule Paris Hilton’s singing debut, currently streaming over at MySpace. So I decided to take the path less traveled, listen to her four tracks with an open ear, and find nice things to say. Here’s my best shot:

-”Hand on My Heart”: Recycling tracks from the scrap heap behind Kylie‘s studio? How environmentally conscious!

-”Don’t Touch It”: Apt title. The moral of the story: Rapid-fire Beyonce-esque phrasing should not be attempted by everyone.

-”Sooner or Later”: Awesome! This clip lasts all of 15 seconds!

-”Screwed”: Okay, I hear a rubbery Mirwais-like synth line, and…

Agh! I just looked at the screen and saw a photo of Paris sucking suggestively on a red Popsicle. Sorry, guys, I have to go wash out my eyes with lye.

What do you think of Paris’ new songs?

addCredit(“Paris Hilton: Shannon Stapleton/Reuters”)

Comments (25 total) Add your comment
Page: 1 2
  • Leebus

    Two hours after the post and no comments, so I will make the first. Paris is totally irrelevant to anything important. That is why there is only this one irrelevant comment so far.

  • dunksahoy

    Does anyone else not totally believe that it’s Paris singing? I’m getting a Milli Vanilli vibe from it all.

  • Summer

    I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Paris makes Hilary Duff sound like Celine Dion. Anyone who buys this ignoramus’ CD is either a teenage boy or a teenage girl who thinks Paris is like, sooooo cool.

  • Shadow

    Whoever buys Paris’ CD should immediately be arrested on the spot at the check-out since they are aiding and abetting a crime against humanity.

  • Jolene

    The only thing WORSE than listening to Paris Hilton attempting to sing (I agree it sounds VERY Milli Vanilli) is listening to her li’l sis Nicky’s songs, also available on MySpace. They are even more heinous to the ear, if that is possible.

  • canadatom

    Just goes to show you if you have enough money you can literally buy anything, except maybe talent (but apparently that’s secondary).

  • Dru Martin

    The only thing that I’ve seen her do convincingly was was mugging for the camera in her sex video.

  • Tim

    If she has a successful music career… omg, the music industry will be lost forever!!

  • popfan

    They must have taken it down, because I can’t access the page, must have been that bad I guess.

  • Jenet

    So, rich people can buy record contracts now? Remember the “Stupid Spoiled Whore” episode of South Park? That’s what I’m thinking right now. Paris has no redeeming qualities and no talent to speak of. The world would be a better place without her, except that we’d have one less walking punch line to mock.

  • tmria

    Is that the right URL? When I click on the link, I get an offensive site. Can’t find a link to the songs…

  • Cathy

    As a law student, I should advise you to take down your link, as a human being tho, I find it very justifiable.

  • Angus

    Where do you get these songs of Paris’ from? I am teaching a class on “What not to listen to.” It provides students an in-depth analysis into the music industry. Can you please e-mail or post the site. Many Thanks.

  • katee

    to be real honest, all you people putting her down must really have no life ..u must have been those stupid life less people in high school where all you were was jelious and all you could do about it was talk behind their back..why cuz u had no life. and agian ur jelious cuz shes in the spot light and you arnt …i sware some people NEVER grow up, and this all coming from a 17 year old whos more mature then what people years older then me ?…thats just sad!..i respect paris for being her self no matter what , some celeberties r fake and people say they r hiding things ..but yet when someones honest and is thier self no matter what ..its like u still have something to say ! ..its a sad world but some just deside to not care what others think and live life to the fullest ..i can relate.I Belive paris has alot goin for her and just becouase she has actrally made thoes talents or hobbies reality ..”thats reason to put her down ?”

  • Ali

    WHAT THE HECK? IS THIS THE RIGHT URL? I DONT THINK SO. Y R U ALL BEING SO MEAN 2 pARIS U LIFLESS PEOPLE? U’VE NEVER EVEN MET HER SHE MAY BE REALLY NICE AND I BET SHE’S NICER THAN U. AND PLUS I WANTED TO HEAR HER SINGING.

Page: 1 2
Add your comment
The rules: Keep it clean, and stay on the subject - or we may delete your comment. If you see inappropriate language, e-mail us. An asterisk (*) indicates a required field.

When you click on the "Post Comment" button above to submit your comments, you are indicating your acceptance of and are agreeing to the Terms of Service. You can also read our Privacy Policy.

Latest Videos

Advertisement

From Our Partners

TV Recaps

Powered by WordPress.com VIP