”In the end, only kindness matters,” sang Jewel in her 1998 single, ”Hands.” I’ve got to admit that normally, I’d disagree with the pop singer and sometime poet’s mawkish sentimentality — I mean, what about jealousy? And shame? And white-hot rage? Don’t they count for anything? But according to the Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, it’s World Kindness Week, so I’m going to try embracing the light by saying something nice about five frequently targeted-for-ridicule celebrities. And I want all of you to do the same. Watch, I’ll go first.
-Everybody likes to dismiss Lindsay Lohan as an out-of-control party girl, but if you look at her body of work — from Freaky Friday, to Mean Girls, to the upcoming Altman film A Prairie Home Companion and Bobby — she’s actually got better taste in projects than most young actors.
-I will be forever grateful to Tom Cruise for wisely using his power as a producer of Mission: Impossible III to cast my longtime pal Felicity.
-I heard Britney Spears’ ”Toxic” at the airport on my way home from vacation last week, and I’ll be darned if that isn’t one tasty pop confection.
(Hang on. Just need a second to wipe the sweat off my brow and rub a little Ben Gay into my ‘kindness muscles.’ It’s been a while, y’know?)
-Okay, where were we? Aside from Madonna, nobody makes videos as consistently great as Michael Jackson.
-And finally, I like (and occasionally use) the catchphrase made famous by Paris Hilton (above): ”That’s hot.”
Alrighty, PopWatchers. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now make me (and Jewel) proud. Pick an oft-maligned entertainer and share something other than your mockery and scorn. Go!
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I am grateful to Tom Cruise for allowing Jamie Foxx to “let him eat” in Collateral – which ended up getting Foxx a 2nd Oscar nomination.
All five of us in my family, ranging in age from 8 to 49, love Lindsay Lohan. I don’t care about her personal life – in her movies her characters are always sweet, slightly flawed, beautiful and good role models for my kids. I still say her performance in Parent Trap was a tour de force.
I really like the fact that Tom Cruise got a new publicist. Now he can keep his craziness hidden from the public like he’s done all those other years. That’s a nice thought, right?
Paris Hilton was on Veronica Mars, that is a good TV show. That’s kind of saying something nice about her.
Tom Cruise is over forty and can get someone like Katie Holmes, even though she is brainwashed. How was that?
Paris private videotapes are better then her acting, maybe she’s acting in both. How did I do there?
Britney, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can do it. Let’s just say she hasn’t held her baby over the railing of a hotel balcony yet. Was that a compliment?
Michael Jackson is the whitest white person I have ever seen. I was also going to say he is nice to children but i didn’t want to push it. Okay? That one was hard.
Lindsay, can’t do it, I actually like her.
Paris Hilton looked fabulous in that recent edition of Vanity Fair.
Lindsay Lohan’s naked EW cover was a personal favorite.
Tom Cruise has excellent taste in beards, er, I mean women.
Michael Jackson’s “Moonwalker” video used to entertain my child for hours when he was two.
Brittany Spears looks like she’s lost a few pounds and is getting her shape back (sorry, after thinking for about 10 minutes that is honestly the best I can do).
AND, Liza Minelli has raised a lot of money for HIV/AIDS organizations which is a really good thing.
Whew, that was hard.
Weren’t we supposed to comment on other celebrities. Here’s my nice things to say about famous people.
1. I’m sorry that you looked like hell in the recent episode of Smallville, Tom Wopat, but you can still drive a Charger just as sexxy as before.
2. Your career may be over, Chris O’ Donnell, but i will always think fondly of your role on Fried Green Tomatoes. You made me think that dying by train wasn’t such a bad thing.
3. Thank you, Chuck Norris, for making Sidekicks with Jonathan Brandis. That movie makes me smile. And the wheel-chair bound kid at the end… GENIUS!!
I can’t be nice…who has heard of Ashlee Simpson’s McMeltdown? She was apparently drunk and obnoxious in a Toronto McDonald’s last week.
Watch the video here at http://www.ctv.ca/entertainment
Jennifer Lopez was actually pretty good in Out of Sight and Selena. She’s also got an pretty good sense of comedic timing (watch her on Will and Grace).
Ben Affleck has been doing a great job at staying hidden from the media (thank God).
Ah, Kevin Federline. Perhaps I was mistaken about him. There may actually be a brain in that otherwise vacant space between his ears. And in fact, it may turn out that he *is* indeed smarter than your average ham sandwich. Why, there’s a possibility that he’s really a Rhodes scholar in disguise, and is using his time with Brit-Brit to write his thesis: “Pop Stars and Dumb Boy Toys: The Yin/Yang of the New Century”.
But I doubt it…
Michael Jackson is the best dancer in the world, you can see it in his videos.
Michael jackson is the best dancer in the world and you can see it in his videos.
Lindsay Lohan makes movies that I enjoy watching. When watching her in an interview she is very sweet. It can’t be easy having the papparrazi tear you apart all the time. Feel the love Lindsay
Courtney Love…uh…something nice…hmmmm…has a cool last name!
Hillary Duff… has… nice… hair?
i’m trying…
Terrell Owens may very well be the most athletically talented idiot ever.
Tom Cruise has never been dumb enough to make another movie quite as bad as Vanilla Sky. That level of thoughtfulness deserves *some* credit, right?
Maybe Michael and Madonna should make a video TOGETHER!
Brit might be a little dumpy now, but just wait!!
Britney didn’t name her baby Kevin, Jr.
Kirsti Alley has kept her spunky personality through thicker and thinner…and I love the way she says “Quirky”.
Tom Cruise makes pretty much everyone else alive look sane. That’s gotta count for something, you know?
Cher looks great for her age. She is older then me and looks younger then me.
Robert Downing Jr. has always been a great actor, it was just life he could not act his way through. He has figured that out and only acts out in movies, tv shows and other forms of drama. He took the drama out of his personal like. That is good thing.
Jennifer Grey is a wonderful actress and it has always escape me as to why she does not have more rolls.
Don Johnson has been absent from the tv for a while. That is a good thing.
Was I nice enough?
The one good thing I can say about them all, is that they are a positive influence of what not to become, extremely white, insane, anorexic, blond from a bottle, not cute in red plastic and vapid. Was that a compliment, sort of back-handed.
“Vanilla Sky” is one of my all-time favorite movies!
P (In response to what Lola said.)
A video with Michael and Madonna together would be amazing.
Paris is a spoiled decadant snob.. Get a life… do someting beter than watch these pitiful pathetic little minds.
Well said Gary
Brittany, Paris and the whole bunch of new little snits, slobs or whatever you want to call them(being a lady I could think of a few more) should have to be out on the streets and working for a living. If they have so much money to throw around help the poor, homeless, etc. I have no pity on these little TRAMPS.
What intelligent person would waste a nanosecond on these empty vessels?
Every person, from Paris to Brittany, just wants to be loved like the rest of us. The next time you want to make a catty remark about someone, ask yourself how you would feel if someone said the same thing about you without even knowing you at all. We all have things in common, we all hurt, and we all feel good. Which would you rather make others feel?
I know I’ll get hell for saying this, but if you listen with an open mind to Britney’s Greatest Hits, you’ll see that she actually makes GREAT POP MUSIC!
I believe mini-me runs like a gazel in the privacy of his own home.