What's Weirder? (Deals Edition)

92141__witt_lWhich of these just-announced movie deals is most unsettling?

A. In the thriller 88 Minutes, which begins shooting this weekend in Vancouver, Al Pacino plays a college professor and forensic psychologist who believes he is going to be killed in just under an hour and a half; Alicia Witt (left) will play a teaching assistant who’s also his love interest.

B. Chad Lowe and Hilary Swank have gone into the producing business alongside NBA All-Star-turned-Regis Philbin substitute Reggie Miller. The three are producers on Beautiful Ohio, a coming-of-age indie drama that began shooting last week in Brooklyn. Lowe is marking his feature directing debut on the project, which stars Julianna Margulies, William Hurt, Rita Wilson, and Michelle Tractenberg.

C. Someone’s making a movie out of Paradise Lost.

So, which is the weirdest?

addCredit(“Alicia Witt: Tammie Arroyo/AFF-USA.com/AP”)

Okay, B. isn’t that weird, though I’d have liked to have heard thepitch: ”Well, it’s based on Ethan Canin’s short story ‘Batorsag &Szerelem’… Yes, we’re going to change the title…”

C. is kindaweird: For one thing, Lucifer gets all the best lines in John Milton’s17th-century epic poem about the Fall of Man; for another, I can’t seehow a tale that bored us all into a deep sleep in freshman English willpack theaters, even in the age of The Da Vinci Code. (Again, there’s apitch I would have loved to hear. ”After this one, we’ll do Dante’s Divine Comedy. It’s public domain, like Milton, so the rights cost nothing, but we can make this one a trilogy, like Lord of the Rings.Kids’ll flip for the action figures and Burger King tie-ins.”) Memo toNew Yorker editor David Remnick: There’s a ”Shouts and Murmurs” piecein here somewhere.

But I have to go with A., just for the gaping age chasm between the65-year-old Pacino and the 30-year-old Witt. Aren’t audiences tired ofthis May-December thing yet? Weren’t we creeped out enough by JackNicholson and Helen Hunt, or Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta-Jones, orWoody Allen and whoever? Any other pairings, readers, you wish youhadn’t seen — or wish to warn Hollywood that you don’t want to see?

Comments (8 total) Add your comment
  • Todd

    Is it really that weird to have an old man romance a young woman in Hollywood? You mention it’s pretty common, so how is this any different? I’m sorry. I’m going to have to go with D, none of the above. You can find weirder things out there, can’t you?

  • Albert

    The weirdest item on that not-so-weird bunch is C., making that movie out of Paradise Lost. That book is crazy!

  • Tommy Marx

    Have to agree with Todd. None of the items are that weird (although A would certainly qualify for the creepiest item).

  • Lene

    A. Ok, so I guess I get that the older man-younger woman thing is fairly normal in movies, but THIRTY YEARS???
    Not so much weird as ridiculous.

  • Tony N.

    I have to agree with Gary, A. If Pacino and Witt should have a love scene in the movie, I’d have to walk out to preserve the contents in my stomach. Here’s something radical, why not make his love interest be a woman old enough to have seen the Godfather when it first came out.

  • ger

    I think only a part of B. is weird: “Regis Philbin substitute Reggie Miller”.

  • brandonk

    Oh, come on! Witt and Pacino? I don’t believe that for a second. Maybe if it was just that he was interested in her, but a relationship? No way. Seriously, how many old men and young women are really in relationships? Besides Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones, I mean. Sure, there are some, but in the movies it happens all the time…way out of proportion.

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