You’ve gotta be cruel to be kind, goes that annoying Nick Lowe song. Or in the case of professional critics, sometimes you’ve gotta be cruel to keep it real. I found three particularly delectable examples for your reading enjoyment, but unfortunately, only one can be crowned Quote of the Day.
A. ”Put it this way: If this program were a date, someone would have smiled sheepishly by now and said, ‘You know, you seem really nice, but I don’t think this is going to work out.’ If it were a prizefight, the ref would have called it.”
–-Variety’s Brian Lowry, writing about NBC’s struggling sitcom Joey (above)
B. ”[Ryan] Reynolds is the film’s mascot and prime offender, still trotting out his Van Wilder bad-boy routine as if he were rebelling against anything that hadn’t been settled long ago. He’s an imitation Jason Lee, who’s himself an imitation of Chevy Chase with the goofball parts left out.”
–The Boston Globe’s Ty Burr, reviewing Waiting
C. ”On its few minor hits — the forgotten novelties ‘Fire Water Burn’ and ‘The Bad Touch’ — the Bloodhound Gang’s shtick was merely tiresome. Now it’s uncomfortably embarrassing, and their poopyheaded new Hefty Fine is for all those curious to discover the lingering hilariousness behind something called ‘Farting With a Walkman On.”’
–Billboard’s Jeff Vrabel, reviewing the Bloodhound Gang’s Hefty Fine
Which quote is meanest? Which is funniest? And which is your Quote of the Day? Let’s get 100 comments by 5 pm. Chop-chop! Don’t make me doubt your PopWatch love all weekend.
I like C – Simply because I feel the term “poopyheaded” is not used enough by critics.
A…good analogy
A is too true, but C uses poopy, so it’s C.
Although I hate to undermine the use of the word “poopyhead” in a review, I still think (A) is the best because it is so TRUE.
Everyone knows ‘Joey’ feels like a bad date. I’d pick ‘B’ as meanest because they manage to not only really insult Ryan Reynolds, but in the process insult currently-buzzworthy Jason Lee by comparing both to an actor who hasn’t had any buzz in a long time
Oh and though I think ‘B’ is the meanest, ‘C’ is the funniest
A is mean and hilarious, although I have to say I’m dying to hear “Farting with a Walkman On.”
A is the best one in my opinion, because not only dies it have the best analogies, but it’s the most true statement.
B would have been the best had its analogies been correct.. and had the statements about Reynolds’ acting been true. I can’t see how Reynolds’ comedic style is that much comparative towards Jason Lee’s (or how Lee’s comparison is to Chevy Chase, for that matter).
C First off, critiquing the Bloodhound Gang is like shooting fish in the barrel. Of course they’re not gonna be releasing ‘Dark Side of the Moon’-caliber music anytime soon. These guys know they put out novelty music. Granted, this album is nowhere near as hilarious as their last one, but any journalist or critic who would use the phrase ‘poopyheaded’ isn’t worth listening to as far as I’m concerned.
Sorry…A is the best one in my opinion, because not only DOES it have the best analogies, but it’s the most true statement.
From now on, anytime someone annoys me I’m going to say, “Stop acting like a poopy-headed Ryan Reynolds sitcom!” It just feels right.
A gets my vote for quote of the day. Ryan Reynolds is a b rate immitation of Jason Lee, but the movie is hilarious despite his participation.
On the other hand, nothing can save Joey. Let me put it this way. If your show is on NBC, and the UPN show for the same slot has better ratings and reviews than you, it’s time to accept facts and go home alone.
i’m picking A. it’s funny cuz it’s true.
Well, if you’re aiming for 100 comments…
I’m gonna go with A. Sad. Very sad. If we weren’t constantly comparing it to “Friends,” it might not seem so bad…it’s better than “Yes, Dear” or “Eve”…but come on! It’s Joey from “Friends!” How is it that he just doesn’t talk to any of them anymore, anyhow? Ah, well.
I’m going with A. Wouldn’t mind if I could have awarded it to former EW-guy, Burr, but the comparison he makes between Chase and Lee is sort of strained. I can see what he’s thinking, but it still doesn’t seem to ring true.
B is probably the meanest, but that’s only because none of them are particularly mean. I’m not sure I really agree with B, but it’s pretty rough. It’s not the funniest, however. Whomever said mocking Bloodhound Gang was like shooting fish in a barrel was right, so I’m going to have to go with A. A great turn of phrase, Mr. Lowrey.