Snap judgments on the new 'Survivor' cast

16569__survivor_lThe cast of Survivor: Guatemala has been announced (now whiter than ever! and with more hot chicks!), and while it’s hard to make judgments about the 16 contestants based solely on their photographs and mini-bios, has that ever stopped us before?

Brian and Rafe (green tank top and burgundy polo, respectively): These two are clearly the only smart ones in the bunch — since they both listed Entertainment Weekly among their favorite magazines.

Judd (blue hat): Definitely the annoying dude — you can tell by the way he puts his shades on his backward baseball cap, a’ight?

Danni (red T-shirt, flat stomach): There’s got to be at least one Jerri Manthey-esque she-beast in the mix, and our money’s on sports radio talk host Danni, on account of her full lips and addiction to Blue Diamond salted almonds.

Lydia (pink shirt, Daisy Duke knot): Diminutive piña colada-swilling fishmonger

Brianna (green, um, top): By virtue of listing The Surreal Life among her favorite programs, she already seems to be fishing for future TV opportunities.

Jim (old guy, white hat): So who’s going home first? Well that’s easy. In a group that looks like they just dropped in from Paradise Hotel, the comparatively ancient retired fire captain, with his love of cold-rolled Irish oatmeal, ought to be back to his copies of National Geographic and his light-jazz LPs sooner than he’d imagined.

What’s your take on the new group of castaways? Any early predictions as to who’ll be the sole Survivor?


Comments (19 total) Add your comment
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  • EP Sato

    Cindy gets my bet! Why? Because out of all the really hot women cast for this season, she seems to be the only one who listed her favorite alcoholic drinks, plus as a zookeeper, she probably deals with nasty stuff all the time.
    Slezak, dude, you are SOOO on the money about this cast! I expect to see plenty of drama and for the cast, and for Judd to say something so offensive that at least one lady will hold a grudge against him for his short span on the show.

  • Stephanie

    So much for diversity, there is not one African-America, Asian or Hispanic in the bunch! Definitely the most white-bread season yet. Mark Burnett, what is the deal here, not even bothering with the token-casting anymore??

  • Adam Polaski

    I heard Stephenie’s coming back! Hopefully her! Maybe she and Bobby Jon will be a team captain?

  • Survivor Fan

    And I thought last season was bad. It took weeks to remember who was who, all the young people seemed the same. I’m so sick of the “hot babes” with the silicone chests being picked for this show.

  • Chuck

    I get it. After being criticized constantly for the frequently insulting portrayal of minorities on his shows, Mark Burnett has decided just to ignore them entirely. Um… good move?
    Thank God for the Amazing Race, which, while no shining beacon of diversity itself, at least makes an effort.

  • choc8mlk

    I am very disappointed with the lack of minorities in this cast! Way to show how diverse America is!

  • Former fan

    No Diversity, what else is on during Survivors time slot?

  • j9

    Anyone else notice three of the castaways have identical twins????

  • D

    I guess in order to Survive the screening process you need to be a model, an actress, and definitely blond. What, no one that doesn’t resemble Barbie and Ken applied? I doubt it. Take a look around Mark; what world are you living in? I’ve watched Survivor since its inception; sorry Mark, you lost me on this one. What a joke.

  • EP Sato

    Just went through the bios again… evidently Lydia is half Puerto Rican and was born in Japan. Maybe Burnett figured with her he was getting two minority groups for the price of one cast member and decided that was more than enough diversity?
    As many other reality tv shows (some of them even Burnett’s) have demonstrated, some of the best drama on these shows stems from the diverse backgrounds of the characters. The drama between the two jons in the “Real world 2″ (one guy was a black comedian, the other a christian country singer) was some of the best high tension tv ever. And anyone remember when Puck was talking all that smack to the gay Cuban guy in Real World 3? We won’t get any moments like that in this season’s Survivor.

  • Tegan Jovanka

    Why is this show still on? It jumped the shark after the second outing.

  • Dawn

    Maybe these were the people they picked because these were the BEST out of the bunch. Maybe there were only a few African-Americans, Asians or Hispanics trying out and THEY JUST WEREN’T RIGHT!?? It always turns out to be a race thing, but we aren’t supposed to treat minorities any differently. Catch 22.

  • j bell

    who gives a damn what color backround or sex ( or sex persuasion ) these people are? If they were the best out of the bunch that’s all that matters! My god America we stopped being as great as we once were because we stopped picking the best qualified. Wake the hell up

  • D

    Did we strike a nerve? Thou protest too much!

  • daisyj

    What I don’t get is, it seems like the consistant fan-favorite reality show contestants (especially on Survivor) are almost always the ones who are not the model/actress/bartender/etc. Sure everyone likes looking at pretty people, but it’s the interesting ones who make the show, well, interesting.

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